Day 1667 in the land of “second army of the world” and the only thing advancing faster than the Ukrainian counteroffensive is the Russian fuel crisis. Welcome to the part of the war where even the propaganda can’t keep up with the lines at the gas station. The Kremlin’s big plan for victory?

Alright, let’s talk about Poland and Ukraine, because apparently every time you blink, some Polish politician is on TV waving a history book and a finger at Kyiv, and the Russian propaganda machine is drooling in the corner hoping for a brawl.

russian state tv says the west is collapsing, then cuts to a guy explaining how to boil bark for soup. priorities, bro.

russian state tv could announce the apocalypse and half the audience would just ask if it means more pension delays or if they can still buy buckwheat.

russian state tv could announce the sun rising in the west and half the audience would just nod and blame nato for the glare.

Two more Russian generals just got their “eternal leave” courtesy of Ukraine, and the only surprise is that there’s still any left to go around. At this point, the Russian high command is basically a game of musical chairs, except every time the music stops, someone gets a HIMARS through the window.