Chris Haran
@chrisharan.bsky.social
Reposted by Chris Haran
Pat McAfee Nods During Aaron Rodgers’ 2-Hour Monologue On Virtues Of Eating Tar
theonion.com/pat-mcafee-n...
theonion.com/pat-mcafee-n...
October 5, 2026 at 6:49 PM
Pat McAfee Nods During Aaron Rodgers’ 2-Hour Monologue On Virtues Of Eating Tar
theonion.com/pat-mcafee-n...
theonion.com/pat-mcafee-n...
Reposted by Chris Haran
Bears had 34 first downs today.
Jets ran 32 plays.
Jets ran 32 plays.
October 4, 2026 at 10:58 PM
Bears had 34 first downs today.
Jets ran 32 plays.
Jets ran 32 plays.
Reposted by Chris Haran
the Bears had more first downs than the Jets had plays in a professional football game
October 4, 2026 at 9:00 PM
the Bears had more first downs than the Jets had plays in a professional football game
Reposted by Chris Haran
The last time the Bears' defense didn't allow a single third-down conversion?
Oct. 5, 1997 in a 20-17 loss to the Saints
Oct. 5, 1997 in a 20-17 loss to the Saints
October 4, 2026 at 9:13 PM
The last time the Bears' defense didn't allow a single third-down conversion?
Oct. 5, 1997 in a 20-17 loss to the Saints
Oct. 5, 1997 in a 20-17 loss to the Saints
Reposted by Chris Haran
The Bears didn't punt today, which hasn't happened since 2014, and that was a 38-17 loss to the Packers. The last time they didn't punt in a win was 2013, The Josh McCown Game.
October 4, 2026 at 9:25 PM
The Bears didn't punt today, which hasn't happened since 2014, and that was a 38-17 loss to the Packers. The last time they didn't punt in a win was 2013, The Josh McCown Game.
Reposted by Chris Haran
I think a lot of people think the point of sports is that your team will win and then you will be happy. That is not the point of sports. The point of sports is to be sad in a group
November 14, 2024 at 4:59 PM
I think a lot of people think the point of sports is that your team will win and then you will be happy. That is not the point of sports. The point of sports is to be sad in a group
Reposted by Chris Haran
The Bears had 8 offensive touchdowns today -- tied for most by any team in the last three years.
In the last 2 years, there have been three 550+ yard games in the NFL. Two are by the Bears, including today (552).
In the last 2 years, there have been three 550+ yard games in the NFL. Two are by the Bears, including today (552).
September 13, 2026 at 11:52 PM
The Bears had 8 offensive touchdowns today -- tied for most by any team in the last three years.
In the last 2 years, there have been three 550+ yard games in the NFL. Two are by the Bears, including today (552).
In the last 2 years, there have been three 550+ yard games in the NFL. Two are by the Bears, including today (552).
Paging @theonion.com ...one of your draft videos escaped into the wild. Bit on the nose.
Wow -- RNC video: "On June 14th, 1946, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, 'I need a caretaker,' so God gave us Trump."
It only gets more unhinged and culty from there.
It only gets more unhinged and culty from there.
September 11, 2026 at 1:53 AM
Paging @theonion.com ...one of your draft videos escaped into the wild. Bit on the nose.
Reposted by Chris Haran
“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.”
— Neil Postman
— Neil Postman
September 3, 2026 at 1:11 PM
“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.”
— Neil Postman
— Neil Postman
Reposted by Chris Haran
![Comic. [Person standing holding hammer above raised knee.] PERSON: Listen up, leg. I’ve been sending you rich, oxygenated blood for years, while you send me worthless used-up blood with no oxygen. Time to teach you a lesson about not ripping me off! [caption] Tariffs](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreicenlzjvvtlegllp5khszuneez6ygyiq3d5g37oaqz5hkwoqhteru)
Reposted by Chris Haran
The humans do this ceremony where they enter a dark room and are forced to account to some sort of priest for their past transgressions, and every time they speak they must eat a poison meat that causes them incredible pain. That is how I think an alien would see Hot Ones.
September 2, 2026 at 3:33 AM
The humans do this ceremony where they enter a dark room and are forced to account to some sort of priest for their past transgressions, and every time they speak they must eat a poison meat that causes them incredible pain. That is how I think an alien would see Hot Ones.
Reposted by Chris Haran
Reposted by Chris Haran
Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser https://theonion.com/pathetic-ai-chatbot-spends-all-its-time-talking-to-friendless-loser/
August 26, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser https://theonion.com/pathetic-ai-chatbot-spends-all-its-time-talking-to-friendless-loser/
Reposted by Chris Haran
Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Chicago Bears defector.com/why-your-tea...
Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Chicago Bears | Defector
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2026 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so…
defector.com
August 26, 2026 at 6:18 PM
Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Chicago Bears defector.com/why-your-tea...
Reposted by Chris Haran
Pope Leo announces fast tracking Dolly Parton for sainthood “yeah she wasn’t Catholic but game recognize game”
August 25, 2026 at 7:37 PM
Pope Leo announces fast tracking Dolly Parton for sainthood “yeah she wasn’t Catholic but game recognize game”
Reposted by Chris Haran
Elon: you know, the family, it has a baby so to speak
Joe Rogan: Stewie
Elon: yes that is it, indeed, but although he has the appearance of a baby he’s quite ribald
Joe Rogan: …it just blows my mind. How he’s so little. And no one stops him is the thing.
Elon: no, unshackled
Joe Rogan: Stewie
Elon: yes that is it, indeed, but although he has the appearance of a baby he’s quite ribald
Joe Rogan: …it just blows my mind. How he’s so little. And no one stops him is the thing.
Elon: no, unshackled
August 24, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Elon: you know, the family, it has a baby so to speak
Joe Rogan: Stewie
Elon: yes that is it, indeed, but although he has the appearance of a baby he’s quite ribald
Joe Rogan: …it just blows my mind. How he’s so little. And no one stops him is the thing.
Elon: no, unshackled
Joe Rogan: Stewie
Elon: yes that is it, indeed, but although he has the appearance of a baby he’s quite ribald
Joe Rogan: …it just blows my mind. How he’s so little. And no one stops him is the thing.
Elon: no, unshackled
Reposted by Chris Haran
Disney announces NFL crossover with iconic characters for all 32 teams www.sbnation.com/nfl/1125849/...
Disney announces NFL crossover with iconic characters for all 32 teams
These are rad.
www.sbnation.com
August 24, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Disney announces NFL crossover with iconic characters for all 32 teams www.sbnation.com/nfl/1125849/...
Reposted by Chris Haran
Jon Ossoff tells Lawrence O’Donnell: “It’s been amazing to watch this White House melt down over this all week. And about Natalie Harp, these White House staffers are adults — public officials, paid by the taxpayer, with immense power in positions of public trust… No one cares about their feelings.”
August 20, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Jon Ossoff tells Lawrence O’Donnell: “It’s been amazing to watch this White House melt down over this all week. And about Natalie Harp, these White House staffers are adults — public officials, paid by the taxpayer, with immense power in positions of public trust… No one cares about their feelings.”
Reposted by Chris Haran
Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. Caleb this. Caleb that.
I went to Chicago to write about the parts of the Bears offense that *aren’t* the quarterback
READ: www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
I went to Chicago to write about the parts of the Bears offense that *aren’t* the quarterback
READ: www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
Why Ben Johnson's Bears offense works and 2026 expectations
While Chicago's success will always be tied to its quarterback, a deeper look unveils the beauty of Johnson's offensive system and what really makes it go.
www.espn.com
August 19, 2026 at 12:41 PM
Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. Caleb this. Caleb that.
I went to Chicago to write about the parts of the Bears offense that *aren’t* the quarterback
READ: www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
I went to Chicago to write about the parts of the Bears offense that *aren’t* the quarterback
READ: www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
Cream cheese? Shoot Seattle into the sun.
Chicago hot dogs are piled high with veggies and never include ketchup. Seattle hot dogs are defined by the inclusion of cream cheese.
Chicago Vs Seattle Hot Dogs: How The Glizzy Styles Differ - Food Republic
www.foodrepublic.com
August 7, 2026 at 4:20 AM
Cream cheese? Shoot Seattle into the sun.
Reposted by Chris Haran
Absolutely incredible way to respond to a TPUSA college kid who said the price of a Chipotle burrito is too high. No notes from me.
Hard to understand how the media company this guy leads could possibly be hemorrhaging subscribers!
Hard to understand how the media company this guy leads could possibly be hemorrhaging subscribers!
August 6, 2026 at 1:51 AM
Absolutely incredible way to respond to a TPUSA college kid who said the price of a Chipotle burrito is too high. No notes from me.
Hard to understand how the media company this guy leads could possibly be hemorrhaging subscribers!
Hard to understand how the media company this guy leads could possibly be hemorrhaging subscribers!
Reposted by Chris Haran
This is going to make it very difficult to know which sports we should ban them from.
Some avocados are female in the morning and male in the afternoon, while others are on the opposite schedule. This helps them avoid self-pollination. How do they do it? A @ucdavis.bsky.social study explains. www.ucdavis.edu/food/news/st...
Study Reveals How Avocados Reverse Sexes Throughout the Day
Some avocados are female in the morning and male in the afternoon, while others are on the opposite schedule. How avocados do this has been unclear — until now, thanks to a UC Davis study.
www.ucdavis.edu
July 30, 2026 at 6:12 PM
This is going to make it very difficult to know which sports we should ban them from.
Reposted by Chris Haran
Reposted by Chris Haran
Tate Brothers Vehemently Deny They Did Anything Consensual
July 20, 2026 at 6:50 PM
Tate Brothers Vehemently Deny They Did Anything Consensual