Clare (The Amazon)
@claretheamazon.bsky.social
I'm pretty tall. I'm an ACSM-certified personal trainer. I like leftist politics, Pokemon, and good books. I can read Italian semi-adequately. I have ADHD.
I had to make three separate phone calls this morning related to getting my car repaired (mechanic, towing company, and car rental), and I am very grateful that everyone I spoke to was a woman.
September 18, 2026 at 3:17 PM
I had to make three separate phone calls this morning related to getting my car repaired (mechanic, towing company, and car rental), and I am very grateful that everyone I spoke to was a woman.
IDK who needs to hear this but you can add lentils to your taco meat and it's fuckin' AWESOME.
September 18, 2026 at 1:31 PM
IDK who needs to hear this but you can add lentils to your taco meat and it's fuckin' AWESOME.
Reposted by Clare (The Amazon)
I know why every man in his twenties *has* a huge pump bottle of hand lotion on his desk and nightstand, but I don't know why they make no attempt to hide it when they invite people over.
September 17, 2026 at 1:16 PM
I know why every man in his twenties *has* a huge pump bottle of hand lotion on his desk and nightstand, but I don't know why they make no attempt to hide it when they invite people over.
Guys guys I got this in a buddy snapshot encounter! We get five per day so go check yours!! #PokemonGo
September 16, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Guys guys I got this in a buddy snapshot encounter! We get five per day so go check yours!! #PokemonGo
Husband is being sent to Brazil for work. I am disappointed to report there are no regional Pokemon there that I need.
September 16, 2026 at 4:51 PM
Husband is being sent to Brazil for work. I am disappointed to report there are no regional Pokemon there that I need.
Behold: the absolute WORST remote trade pool you have ever seen. (This is on my son's account, someone in the Netherlands) #PokemonGo
September 14, 2026 at 2:38 PM
Behold: the absolute WORST remote trade pool you have ever seen. (This is on my son's account, someone in the Netherlands) #PokemonGo
If leftists could PLEASE stop using generative AI to make political slop, that'd be great. Yes, seeing Trump as a diaper-wearing baby is hilarious, but make it like a normal, creative HUMAN, for fucks' sake.
September 13, 2026 at 10:58 PM
If leftists could PLEASE stop using generative AI to make political slop, that'd be great. Yes, seeing Trump as a diaper-wearing baby is hilarious, but make it like a normal, creative HUMAN, for fucks' sake.
Update: he won his fuckin' age group 🥳😍🤯
Husband is doing a sprint triathlon this morning. He insists that he feels like shit and will do horribly, which he does before EVERY race, and he always ends up top 3 in his age group, so.
September 13, 2026 at 4:18 PM
Update: he won his fuckin' age group 🥳😍🤯
Husband is doing a sprint triathlon this morning. He insists that he feels like shit and will do horribly, which he does before EVERY race, and he always ends up top 3 in his age group, so.
September 13, 2026 at 1:04 PM
Husband is doing a sprint triathlon this morning. He insists that he feels like shit and will do horribly, which he does before EVERY race, and he always ends up top 3 in his age group, so.
I finally got a car rental! I booked economy class ("Mitsubishi Mirage or similar") and ended up being upgraded for free to a Mitsubishi OUTLANDER. I am big pimping for shizzle. It is very nice. I can set the air conditioning to 75.
September 12, 2026 at 6:26 PM
I finally got a car rental! I booked economy class ("Mitsubishi Mirage or similar") and ended up being upgraded for free to a Mitsubishi OUTLANDER. I am big pimping for shizzle. It is very nice. I can set the air conditioning to 75.
Every damn day I get Ashley Hinson mailers and hear Ashley Hinson commercials, and all I'm seeing is a desperate, thirsty asshole who knows she's gonna lose.
September 12, 2026 at 4:21 PM
Every damn day I get Ashley Hinson mailers and hear Ashley Hinson commercials, and all I'm seeing is a desperate, thirsty asshole who knows she's gonna lose.
If you have not seen the film "You Got Served," you must. They hired dancers who can't act, which means the dancing is peak and the entire plot is tacked on. Mawma, it's camp. There's a line where the preppy studious sister says, in all sincerity, "your boy is really tripping," and I died laughing.
September 12, 2026 at 2:43 PM
If you have not seen the film "You Got Served," you must. They hired dancers who can't act, which means the dancing is peak and the entire plot is tacked on. Mawma, it's camp. There's a line where the preppy studious sister says, in all sincerity, "your boy is really tripping," and I died laughing.
Man, that Young Republican fuckwit who left an Ashley Hinson flier on my doorknob is lucky I didn't answer when he knocked, I would have told him to get his floppy-haired incel MAGA ass the FUCK off my porch
September 11, 2026 at 8:51 PM
Man, that Young Republican fuckwit who left an Ashley Hinson flier on my doorknob is lucky I didn't answer when he knocked, I would have told him to get his floppy-haired incel MAGA ass the FUCK off my porch
Okay fun fact, my husband did NOT successfully fix my car last weekend. He had to order another part and will hopefully finish it tonight. Meanwhile I have been completely without a car all week. Fortunately the only place I HAD to go was Walgreens twice (which is under a mile away). But still.
September 11, 2026 at 6:55 PM
Okay fun fact, my husband did NOT successfully fix my car last weekend. He had to order another part and will hopefully finish it tonight. Meanwhile I have been completely without a car all week. Fortunately the only place I HAD to go was Walgreens twice (which is under a mile away). But still.
If you are under 35 years old, you probably don't remember the ABSOLUTE FUCKING STRANGLEHOLD that the Enrique Iglesias song "Hero" had on this nation after 9/11. It was one of many instances where people see the title and don't pay attention to the lyrics (see also: Trump with "Born In The USA").
September 11, 2026 at 6:39 PM
If you are under 35 years old, you probably don't remember the ABSOLUTE FUCKING STRANGLEHOLD that the Enrique Iglesias song "Hero" had on this nation after 9/11. It was one of many instances where people see the title and don't pay attention to the lyrics (see also: Trump with "Born In The USA").
They didn't accept my pangram 😭
September 11, 2026 at 11:59 AM
They didn't accept my pangram 😭
Once you realize that conservative Christian nationalists are basically a death cult, their actions make more sense. They want to speed-run earthly existence so they can go into the loving arms of Jesus, so fuck vaccines, fuck gun control, fuck food safety, WE GOT A HEAVEN TO GET TO ☠️☠️☠️
September 10, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Once you realize that conservative Christian nationalists are basically a death cult, their actions make more sense. They want to speed-run earthly existence so they can go into the loving arms of Jesus, so fuck vaccines, fuck gun control, fuck food safety, WE GOT A HEAVEN TO GET TO ☠️☠️☠️
My new fitness goal is to get lean enough again to cosplay Tifa. I am not nearly pretty enough, but few people are. What I DO have is big 'uns, a short torso, and long legs. That's Tifa all the way, baby.
September 10, 2026 at 1:54 PM
My new fitness goal is to get lean enough again to cosplay Tifa. I am not nearly pretty enough, but few people are. What I DO have is big 'uns, a short torso, and long legs. That's Tifa all the way, baby.
There are people on Reddit who think that Tifa "should have more defined abs," and I swear to fuckin' god if TIFA LOCKHART is not PERFECT ENOUGH for you, you should throw yourself off a fuckin' fire escape IMMEDIATELY. #FF7 #Cloti
Tifa Lockhart in Final Fantasy VII Remake
ALT: Tifa Lockhart in Final Fantasy VII Remake
static.klipy.com
September 10, 2026 at 12:40 PM
Men, never try to shame women for having "loose" vaginas. All you're doing is outing yourself as having a small penis. We laugh at you afterwards.
September 10, 2026 at 1:52 AM
Men, never try to shame women for having "loose" vaginas. All you're doing is outing yourself as having a small penis. We laugh at you afterwards.
I found out about 9/11 in the most 2001 way possible: through AOL Instant Messenger.
September 8, 2026 at 1:42 AM
I found out about 9/11 in the most 2001 way possible: through AOL Instant Messenger.
As a personal trainer I've worked with a lot of beginners, and I would say "there are no stupid questions," but unfortunately one past client asked me "how's your relationship with Jesus?" during our first session, so. Yes, there ARE stupid questions. (My answer: "fantastic!" It shut her right up!)
September 7, 2026 at 7:48 PM
As a personal trainer I've worked with a lot of beginners, and I would say "there are no stupid questions," but unfortunately one past client asked me "how's your relationship with Jesus?" during our first session, so. Yes, there ARE stupid questions. (My answer: "fantastic!" It shut her right up!)
Level 80! I have been playing this game for almost 4 years and it has truly enriched my life. Thanks to everyone who makes this game fun ❤️ #PokemonGo
September 7, 2026 at 3:54 PM
Level 80! I have been playing this game for almost 4 years and it has truly enriched my life. Thanks to everyone who makes this game fun ❤️ #PokemonGo
OH MY GOD THIS IS HAPPENING (XP)
September 7, 2026 at 3:44 PM
OH MY GOD THIS IS HAPPENING (XP)