81 degrees in February and I’m drinking on a patio while Smooth Operator plays >>>>
February 28, 2026 at 7:16 PM
81 degrees in February and I’m drinking on a patio while Smooth Operator plays >>>>
My husband said Bri from Love is Blind reminds him of the girl on Bob’s Burgers who sucks on her necklace
February 27, 2026 at 3:17 AM
My husband said Bri from Love is Blind reminds him of the girl on Bob’s Burgers who sucks on her necklace
At the salon overhearing a quirky white woman with teal hair talk about her two cats Miso and Mochi. Like yeah that tracks lol. She didn’t even explicitly say they were cats I just know those are cats
February 12, 2026 at 11:55 PM
At the salon overhearing a quirky white woman with teal hair talk about her two cats Miso and Mochi. Like yeah that tracks lol. She didn’t even explicitly say they were cats I just know those are cats
We need to bring back saying “totes McGoats”
January 23, 2026 at 1:35 PM
We need to bring back saying “totes McGoats”
Strolled through the purse section at Nordstrom and saw a bunch of these mfs oh please just roll me into the grave already
January 11, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Strolled through the purse section at Nordstrom and saw a bunch of these mfs oh please just roll me into the grave already
[to the tune of Get Down On It] Upset stomach 🎵🕺🏻
January 9, 2026 at 5:01 PM
[to the tune of Get Down On It] Upset stomach 🎵🕺🏻
When I’m stuck on a phone call or cameras-off Teams meeting with someone who won’t shut up I watch makeup tutorial reels on mute and pretend the person on the phone is doing the world’s most boring GRWM
January 8, 2026 at 9:25 PM
When I’m stuck on a phone call or cameras-off Teams meeting with someone who won’t shut up I watch makeup tutorial reels on mute and pretend the person on the phone is doing the world’s most boring GRWM
This cannot be the same brain that mastered the Rule Against Perpetuities
January 7, 2026 at 7:21 PM
This cannot be the same brain that mastered the Rule Against Perpetuities
What about enpissification
January 7, 2026 at 6:22 PM
What about enpissification
Subway cashier: do you want a bag?
Me about to walk out into public: yes please but not a Subway one though
Me about to walk out into public: yes please but not a Subway one though
January 6, 2026 at 6:51 PM
Subway cashier: do you want a bag?
Me about to walk out into public: yes please but not a Subway one though
Me about to walk out into public: yes please but not a Subway one though
Why do cats sit like this lol
January 6, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Why do cats sit like this lol
I’ve been casually watching season 2 of Nobody Wants This over a few months by throwing it on every now and then and watching until I find something better to do. I thought I’d seen like 3-4 episodes and just opened it to watch another and I’m actually only halfway through the first episode lol
January 4, 2026 at 11:07 PM
I’ve been casually watching season 2 of Nobody Wants This over a few months by throwing it on every now and then and watching until I find something better to do. I thought I’d seen like 3-4 episodes and just opened it to watch another and I’m actually only halfway through the first episode lol
Exciting times for this guy
January 4, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Exciting times for this guy
Horny british guys be like “send nyewds”
December 31, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Horny british guys be like “send nyewds”
Just had to call Ticketmaster to complain about a seller cancelling my Backstreet Boys tickets. Humiliating
December 27, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Just had to call Ticketmaster to complain about a seller cancelling my Backstreet Boys tickets. Humiliating
Guy on the plane next to me is rocking that Suitcase brand suitcase
December 27, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Guy on the plane next to me is rocking that Suitcase brand suitcase
[spelling something out over the phone] W as in Wario
December 24, 2025 at 12:05 AM
[spelling something out over the phone] W as in Wario
Sorry I can’t come out after work I have to hit the PetSmart to buy Christmas gifts for seven or eight dogs and cats
December 23, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Sorry I can’t come out after work I have to hit the PetSmart to buy Christmas gifts for seven or eight dogs and cats
Was talking to my zoomer paralegal and I said one of our clients was “chopped” and she laughed incredibly hard in that specific way young people laugh when they’re definitely laughing at you and not with you
December 20, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Was talking to my zoomer paralegal and I said one of our clients was “chopped” and she laughed incredibly hard in that specific way young people laugh when they’re definitely laughing at you and not with you
Criminal mischief is the stupidest sounding crime. Yeah you’re charged with three counts of being a little stinker. I hereby sentence you to bedtime without dinner
December 16, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Criminal mischief is the stupidest sounding crime. Yeah you’re charged with three counts of being a little stinker. I hereby sentence you to bedtime without dinner
Time to S H E D
December 15, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Time to S H E D
5.5/10
I am trying a Big Mac for the first time in my life
December 14, 2025 at 12:22 AM
5.5/10
I am trying a Big Mac for the first time in my life
December 13, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I am trying a Big Mac for the first time in my life
Tried to be one of those girlies who walks the Katy Trail in just a sports bra on top. Forgot it’s 50 degrees outside. Instant regret and I look like an insane whore
December 13, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Tried to be one of those girlies who walks the Katy Trail in just a sports bra on top. Forgot it’s 50 degrees outside. Instant regret and I look like an insane whore
