DaveTDuck 🏴
@davetduck.bsky.social
Keeper of the King's ducks, petrol station furniture historian and stoat juggler.
Staying in a hotel at the moment and I wonder if anyone has ever found room 404.
September 16, 2026 at 7:08 AM
Staying in a hotel at the moment and I wonder if anyone has ever found room 404.
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I'll let you know.
I'll let you know.
September 11, 2026 at 11:30 PM
I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I'll let you know.
I'll let you know.
The Wrexham 'keeper has a short-sleeved shirt with orange stripes down the side and orange gloves. From a distance, he looks like he's wearing the type of long gloves that vets use when they've got their arms up a cows arse.
September 11, 2026 at 8:36 PM
The Wrexham 'keeper has a short-sleeved shirt with orange stripes down the side and orange gloves. From a distance, he looks like he's wearing the type of long gloves that vets use when they've got their arms up a cows arse.
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
Stewards at Chelsea are crap at doing Rock The Boat.
August 28, 2026 at 8:03 AM
Stewards at Chelsea are crap at doing Rock The Boat.
What's this weird, watery stuff falling from the sky?
July 26, 2026 at 8:33 AM
What's this weird, watery stuff falling from the sky?
What are the chances that the Argentinian substitute Melina, is both funky and cold?
July 19, 2026 at 8:36 PM
What are the chances that the Argentinian substitute Melina, is both funky and cold?
If the Spanish FA don't sell an action figure of their player Dani Olmo called 'Tackle me Olmo' then they need a new marketing department.
July 10, 2026 at 8:39 PM
If the Spanish FA don't sell an action figure of their player Dani Olmo called 'Tackle me Olmo' then they need a new marketing department.
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
Colombia v Switzerland being referred to as Charlie v The Chocolate Factory.
July 7, 2026 at 5:37 PM
Colombia v Switzerland being referred to as Charlie v The Chocolate Factory.
I want to see a friendly football match between Canada and Cancun FC, just so I can see CAN CAN at the top of the TV screen.
I don't care who the home team is.
I don't care who the home team is.
July 4, 2026 at 5:08 PM
I want to see a friendly football match between Canada and Cancun FC, just so I can see CAN CAN at the top of the TV screen.
I don't care who the home team is.
I don't care who the home team is.
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
It's going to be a hell of a shock to the BBC commentators, when they find out that the Spanish have got 10 other players on the pitch.
July 2, 2026 at 7:30 PM
It's going to be a hell of a shock to the BBC commentators, when they find out that the Spanish have got 10 other players on the pitch.
As pleasing as it is that the Norwegian football team has a player called Bobb, it would be even more pleasing if he was part of the Norwegian swimming team.
June 26, 2026 at 8:14 PM
As pleasing as it is that the Norwegian football team has a player called Bobb, it would be even more pleasing if he was part of the Norwegian swimming team.
Let the Ronaldo wankfest begin!
June 23, 2026 at 5:57 PM
Let the Ronaldo wankfest begin!
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
My wife gets annoyed when I mess with her wine.
I added some fruit and lemonade to it; now she's sangria than ever.
I added some fruit and lemonade to it; now she's sangria than ever.
June 15, 2026 at 2:17 PM
My wife gets annoyed when I mess with her wine.
I added some fruit and lemonade to it; now she's sangria than ever.
I added some fruit and lemonade to it; now she's sangria than ever.
It's only the opening sequence and I'm sick of the ITV World Cup coverage already.
June 11, 2026 at 5:15 PM
It's only the opening sequence and I'm sick of the ITV World Cup coverage already.
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
Milli Vanilli just informed promoters that they will not be singing at the national mall MAGA concert so in other words they’ve confirmed the show will go on as planned!
May 28, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Milli Vanilli just informed promoters that they will not be singing at the national mall MAGA concert so in other words they’ve confirmed the show will go on as planned!
Dear TNT commentators. Please, for the love of all that's holy, SHUT UP!
May 20, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Dear TNT commentators. Please, for the love of all that's holy, SHUT UP!
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
The Arsenal. Your Premier League champions.
May 19, 2026 at 8:29 PM
The Arsenal. Your Premier League champions.
Reposted by DaveTDuck 🏴
Southampton fans looking for a refund
May 19, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Southampton fans looking for a refund
Is there any danger of a football match breaking out in between all of these betting ads?
May 11, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Is there any danger of a football match breaking out in between all of these betting ads?
Hhhhmmmmm. Not sure the crowd waving predominantly white flags is the message you were aiming for Spurs.
April 18, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Hhhhmmmmm. Not sure the crowd waving predominantly white flags is the message you were aiming for Spurs.
Dear BBC, just saw your advert for BBC Sounds, with a DJ saying "Oh, yeah. I can't stop getting physical".
Timing?
Timing?
April 8, 2026 at 7:03 PM
Dear BBC, just saw your advert for BBC Sounds, with a DJ saying "Oh, yeah. I can't stop getting physical".
Timing?
Timing?
So, 88 minutes with Leeds winning 2-0 is a bad time to give up watching the game and nipping out then.
April 5, 2026 at 6:52 PM
So, 88 minutes with Leeds winning 2-0 is a bad time to give up watching the game and nipping out then.