David
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davidgutzz.bsky.social
David
@davidgutzz.bsky.social
99 followers 320 following 17 posts
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nepook.bsky.social
July 16, 2026 at 6:20 PM
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kennylogins.bsky.social
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social Teaching the new intern all the keyboard shortcuts except for one that I can use to defeat him if he ever chooses to betray me 8:33 AM • Jun 9, 2025
September 30, 2026 at 1:03 PM
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minovskyarticle.bsky.social
Overheard between two elementary schoolers:

"I've got Aura."

"You can't even spell aura."

"O! R! A! And I've got it."
September 29, 2026 at 12:32 PM
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lamari.bsky.social
Hay 15 furgones de antidisturbios cubriendo el desahucio de Mari Carmen.
15 FURGONES
Un Estado en el que pasa esto ⬇️ es un Estado fallido.
September 23, 2026 at 9:06 AM
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fridaypacific.bsky.social
September 18, 2026 at 7:10 PM
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radioactivejawa.bsky.social
September 17, 2026 at 6:05 PM
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hausofdecline.bsky.social
The year is 2008. A voice emanates from the grey body paint factory saying "sales are way down since the recession." An executive brandishes a gun and says "gentlemen, it's been an honour." A voice comes from off panel and says "WAIT! Our junior ad exec came up with an idea." Andrew Hussie holds up a sign depicting one of the trolls from Homestuck.
September 5, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Reposted by David
manuelalvarez.bsky.social
literalmente todos los anuncios de tv: un anciano está solo en su casa mirando triste la ventana. llaman al timbre. abre la puerta y es una niña pequeña que le da un abrazo. música emotiva. “listerine: porque la vida son momentos”.
September 4, 2026 at 10:57 AM
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voicesbyzane.bsky.social
My favorite Mr. Beast moment was when he got punched in the stomach by Mike Tyson and for the briefest of moments, Jimmy Donaldson's lazy grin was replaced with an expression of animalistic fear. For an almost imperceptible window, there were no metricd or merch opportunities, only flesh and pain
August 31, 2026 at 8:06 PM
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earley.bsky.social
10 years from now, these things are going to be running at us at Usain Bolt speed and snapping our necks when Palantir's software tells them we didn't watch an Instagram ad for long enough
nbcnews.com NBC News @nbcnews.com · Aug 24
A Chinese humanoid robot outran Usain Bolt’s 100-meter sprint world record on the opening day of the World Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing, posting a time of 9.39 seconds — 0.19 faster than Bolt’s pace in 2009.
August 25, 2026 at 12:02 PM
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chrisjustice01.bsky.social
Court docs vs Tate lies
August 24, 2026 at 1:39 AM
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leguinbot.bsky.social
I’m not dead. I sleep sometimes. Sleep comes very close to death, everyone knows that. The dead walk in dreams, everyone knows that. They come to you alive, and they say things. They walk out of death into the dreams.
August 18, 2026 at 8:55 AM
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anxocunningham.bsky.social
Llevo tres días pensando en esto. Another massive W for earth.
August 12, 2026 at 7:12 PM
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beetlemoses.bsky.social
The breakup
Three panel comic. Panel 1: the Beatles are embroiled in argument in their later era. George says to John, who is laying in bed with Yoko, “John— stop bringing Yoko to the studio!” Panel 2: George turns to Paul McCartney, who is seated with his bass guitar and a cigarette. “Paul, you’ve become a control freak!” Panel 3: George turns to Ringo, who is seated at his drums and wearing the Venom/Spiderman alien symbiote suit. George says with exasperation, “Ringo… lose the symbiote.” Symbiote Ringo replies “calm down, mate.”
August 7, 2026 at 2:44 PM
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internethippo.bsky.social
Yes, the Problems are bad, but this is no time for radical things like Solutions
July 24, 2026 at 11:20 PM
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scumbelievable.bsky.social
he looks like he's animorphing into a photorealistic Bert from Sesame Street
July 3, 2026 at 6:27 AM
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ananimegiraffe.bsky.social
GTA discourse arriving again
June 24, 2026 at 3:55 PM
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hausofdecline.bsky.social
A surgeon says to a trans woman covered in bandages "congratulations on your facial feminization surgery. It was a complete success!" The room darkens and he then says "however, you didn't specify what woman's dace you wanted, so..." She pulls off the bandages and says "what? give me the mirror!" She looks into it and shouts "OH CHRIST, you gave me the Thatcher?"
June 22, 2026 at 9:17 PM
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marxve.bsky.social
Every fucking time
June 8, 2026 at 8:57 AM
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ign.com
Kane Parsons, the director of Backrooms, has expressed interest in directing a Portal film. https://bit.ly/43kvgjr

#IGNSummerOfGaming
June 6, 2026 at 12:00 PM
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olchefdan.bsky.social
Honestly, one of the funniest tweets I've ever seen.
May 25, 2026 at 10:36 AM