Det. Paul Drake - Lawyer/Anti-Hero
@detpauldrake.bsky.social
Former Cop, Current Lawyer, Possibly Batman.
Leo DiCaprio deciding that it's time to give up his GF,
Some five and twenty years
September 11, 2026 at 7:07 PM
Leo DiCaprio deciding that it's time to give up his GF,
No. It's 2A, I asked for a window seat.
To be
September 11, 2026 at 1:23 AM
No. It's 2A, I asked for a window seat.
Why is she always saying this when I stop by her house?
Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. He will not stay long.
September 10, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Why is she always saying this when I stop by her house?
What’s it like inside your head
September 9, 2026 at 3:56 AM
What’s it like inside your head
Not welcome in North Dakota.
September 4, 2026 at 10:05 PM
Not welcome in North Dakota.
my response to your sexts
August 23, 2026 at 2:48 AM
my response to your sexts
sexts i receive
From your own mouth, my lord, did I this deed.
August 16, 2026 at 10:36 PM
sexts i receive
You say "skirmish." I say "beatdown."
Toe-MAY-toe / Toe- MAH-toe
Toe-MAY-toe / Toe- MAH-toe
Libra: Workplace frustrations can often be solved by entering into a skirmish with your coworkers.
August 16, 2026 at 8:43 PM
You say "skirmish." I say "beatdown."
Toe-MAY-toe / Toe- MAH-toe
Toe-MAY-toe / Toe- MAH-toe
Humpmobile is what I called my truck in High School.
Oh! It appears I misread this post.
Oh! It appears I misread this post.
1924 Hupmobile Series R-12 Four-Passenger Coupe at No Reserve
No Reserve: 1924 Hupmobile Series R-12 Four-Passenger Coupe
Bid for the chance to own a No Reserve: 1924 Hupmobile Series R-12 Four-Passenger Coupe at auction with Bring a Trailer, the home of the best vintage and classic cars online. Lot #258,974.
bringatrailer.com
August 15, 2026 at 8:37 PM
Humpmobile is what I called my truck in High School.
Oh! It appears I misread this post.
Oh! It appears I misread this post.
Introduce yourself as what almost killed you:
1. Women
2. Ignoring my health by piss-poor eating habits, failing to exercise, and avoiding medical care for most of my adult life.
Don't do that.
1. Women
2. Ignoring my health by piss-poor eating habits, failing to exercise, and avoiding medical care for most of my adult life.
Don't do that.
Introduce yourself as what almost killed you.
Hi, I’m Sheep Creek, Alaska, America
Hi, I’m Sheep Creek, Alaska, America
Hi, I’m a 500 gallon water trailer, a suicidal person, I-35 traffic and Ulcerative Colitis.
August 15, 2026 at 12:36 AM
Introduce yourself as what almost killed you:
1. Women
2. Ignoring my health by piss-poor eating habits, failing to exercise, and avoiding medical care for most of my adult life.
Don't do that.
1. Women
2. Ignoring my health by piss-poor eating habits, failing to exercise, and avoiding medical care for most of my adult life.
Don't do that.
When I see boobs,
It does a man’s heart good.
August 15, 2026 at 12:29 AM
When I see boobs,
When the shit hits the fan....
It's loud, it's messy, and it cannot be controlled.
Welcome to the shitshow.
It's loud, it's messy, and it cannot be controlled.
Welcome to the shitshow.
August 13, 2026 at 3:34 AM
When the shit hits the fan....
It's loud, it's messy, and it cannot be controlled.
Welcome to the shitshow.
It's loud, it's messy, and it cannot be controlled.
Welcome to the shitshow.
I'm a dad - First, Most, and Always.
August 10, 2026 at 4:05 AM
I'm a dad - First, Most, and Always.
Judge: So, you are going with a justification defense?
Yet she must die, else she’ll betray more men.
August 3, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Judge: So, you are going with a justification defense?
It's been 7 weeks since my open heart surgery.
I was warned that my emotions would change. My first thought was "what are emotions?"
And now, WTF is happening to me?
I'm crying at a drop of the hat. Commercials, TV shows, memories...
I was warned that my emotions would change. My first thought was "what are emotions?"
And now, WTF is happening to me?
I'm crying at a drop of the hat. Commercials, TV shows, memories...
Interstellar Guyfromintersellarcrying
ALT: Interstellar Guyfromintersellarcrying
static.klipy.com
July 29, 2026 at 4:32 AM
It's been 7 weeks since my open heart surgery.
I was warned that my emotions would change. My first thought was "what are emotions?"
And now, WTF is happening to me?
I'm crying at a drop of the hat. Commercials, TV shows, memories...
I was warned that my emotions would change. My first thought was "what are emotions?"
And now, WTF is happening to me?
I'm crying at a drop of the hat. Commercials, TV shows, memories...
Them: What if.......?
Me: What if earth worms had machine guns? Birds wouldn't fuck with them.
Apparently, that's not how I am supposed to respond.
Me: What if earth worms had machine guns? Birds wouldn't fuck with them.
Apparently, that's not how I am supposed to respond.
July 28, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Them: What if.......?
Me: What if earth worms had machine guns? Birds wouldn't fuck with them.
Apparently, that's not how I am supposed to respond.
Me: What if earth worms had machine guns? Birds wouldn't fuck with them.
Apparently, that's not how I am supposed to respond.
sext
What man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation?
July 27, 2026 at 7:41 PM
sext
My plumber charges $250.00 and hour.
When you're in deep shit, you'll pay.
And AI will never unclog a toilet.
When you're in deep shit, you'll pay.
And AI will never unclog a toilet.
They want this for your kids, not theirs.
Linda McMahon Slammed After Claiming Some Kids Should Be Put On 'Pathway' To Become Plumbers
www.comicsands.com
July 27, 2026 at 7:40 PM
My plumber charges $250.00 and hour.
When you're in deep shit, you'll pay.
And AI will never unclog a toilet.
When you're in deep shit, you'll pay.
And AI will never unclog a toilet.
It's Bar Exam Week....
Remember, IRAC every single thing.
Nothing about the Bar has anything to do with the practice of law and does not, in any way, reflect your ability as an attorney or your character as a person.
Remember, IRAC every single thing.
Nothing about the Bar has anything to do with the practice of law and does not, in any way, reflect your ability as an attorney or your character as a person.
July 27, 2026 at 7:18 PM
It's Bar Exam Week....
Remember, IRAC every single thing.
Nothing about the Bar has anything to do with the practice of law and does not, in any way, reflect your ability as an attorney or your character as a person.
Remember, IRAC every single thing.
Nothing about the Bar has anything to do with the practice of law and does not, in any way, reflect your ability as an attorney or your character as a person.
the reason I don't send those "special" pics.
Is he dead already?
July 25, 2026 at 5:43 PM
the reason I don't send those "special" pics.
Happy Anniversary to those that celebrate.
July 24, 2026 at 5:17 PM
Happy Anniversary to those that celebrate.
The call me.... Jimothy.
July 24, 2026 at 4:22 PM
The call me.... Jimothy.
Reposted by Det. Paul Drake - Lawyer/Anti-Hero
Interrupting with, “OBJECTION! Relevance!” in the middle of your spouse’s meandering work story is frowned upon.
Apparently.
Apparently.
July 24, 2026 at 1:56 AM
Interrupting with, “OBJECTION! Relevance!” in the middle of your spouse’s meandering work story is frowned upon.
Apparently.
Apparently.
sext
What is it carries you away?
July 23, 2026 at 7:10 PM
sext
I once entered a photo contest as a joke because my ex-GF had entered.
I won the contest. She took 2nd.
She was not amused.
I won the contest. She took 2nd.
She was not amused.
July 22, 2026 at 11:39 PM
I once entered a photo contest as a joke because my ex-GF had entered.
I won the contest. She took 2nd.
She was not amused.
I won the contest. She took 2nd.
She was not amused.