My wife walked out of the kitchen saying "okay I'm gonna set a timer and then I'll see where the potatoes are at..." and I said "I'm pretty sure they'll still be in the pot!" and she gave me a look that could curdle milk
September 16, 2026 at 10:23 PM
My wife walked out of the kitchen saying "okay I'm gonna set a timer and then I'll see where the potatoes are at..." and I said "I'm pretty sure they'll still be in the pot!" and she gave me a look that could curdle milk
Two shits pissing in the night
September 14, 2026 at 4:27 PM
Two shits pissing in the night
FBI: We don't negotiate with terrorists.
TERRORISTS: Actually we don't negotiate with the FBI.
TERRORISTS: Actually we don't negotiate with the FBI.
September 10, 2026 at 4:02 PM
FBI: We don't negotiate with terrorists.
TERRORISTS: Actually we don't negotiate with the FBI.
TERRORISTS: Actually we don't negotiate with the FBI.
Sulzer ElectroGus #MyNewDnDCharacter
August 25, 2026 at 12:59 AM
Sulzer ElectroGus #MyNewDnDCharacter
I hope Marvel trend-chases and we get trans Petra Parker in the next Spider-Man movie. I think Holland could pull it off.
August 19, 2026 at 12:13 PM
I hope Marvel trend-chases and we get trans Petra Parker in the next Spider-Man movie. I think Holland could pull it off.
Without saying your age, what's your favorite movie that came out when you were 18?
August 4, 2026 at 3:09 PM
Without saying your age, what's your favorite movie that came out when you were 18?
Buying stock in Spencer Lackey right now. I keep having to unfollow him on tiktok because his shorts freak me out too much, but I keep going back because I can't look away.
July 26, 2026 at 11:15 PM
Buying stock in Spencer Lackey right now. I keep having to unfollow him on tiktok because his shorts freak me out too much, but I keep going back because I can't look away.
Really enjoying the album "Lana Drincic and Friends" by Lana Drincic from 2024. This is one of those albums that really makes me feel emotional in ways that words can't. Ultimately it makes me feel like myself.
July 23, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Really enjoying the album "Lana Drincic and Friends" by Lana Drincic from 2024. This is one of those albums that really makes me feel emotional in ways that words can't. Ultimately it makes me feel like myself.
Urinals are a travesty and should be outlawed. You know how women talk each other up and gab and stuff in the bathroom? Men don't do that because they're unnecessarily vulnerable.
July 21, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Urinals are a travesty and should be outlawed. You know how women talk each other up and gab and stuff in the bathroom? Men don't do that because they're unnecessarily vulnerable.
I've slammed through three John Wicks in the last week and here's what I have to say: they rock really hard.
July 17, 2026 at 8:28 PM
I've slammed through three John Wicks in the last week and here's what I have to say: they rock really hard.
This air pollution has the Hudson valley looking like it was shot by a hacky director making a movie set in Mexico
July 15, 2026 at 4:38 PM
This air pollution has the Hudson valley looking like it was shot by a hacky director making a movie set in Mexico
Does Mr. Mime say his own name or does he say nothing because he's a mime
July 9, 2026 at 1:45 AM
Does Mr. Mime say his own name or does he say nothing because he's a mime
Connections spoilers
I'm just gonna say, I don't feel that a mime "impersonates" anything. I've never looked at a mime and said "wow he's doing such a good impersonation of a guy trapped in a box"
I'm just gonna say, I don't feel that a mime "impersonates" anything. I've never looked at a mime and said "wow he's doing such a good impersonation of a guy trapped in a box"
July 2, 2026 at 12:51 PM
Connections spoilers
I'm just gonna say, I don't feel that a mime "impersonates" anything. I've never looked at a mime and said "wow he's doing such a good impersonation of a guy trapped in a box"
I'm just gonna say, I don't feel that a mime "impersonates" anything. I've never looked at a mime and said "wow he's doing such a good impersonation of a guy trapped in a box"
Me: if I was in A Quiet Place I simply would not bust inside my wife
The Wise Oracle: but what if your wife was Emily Blunt
Me: hmm
The Wise Oracle: but what if your wife was Emily Blunt
Me: hmm
June 27, 2026 at 12:27 PM
Me: if I was in A Quiet Place I simply would not bust inside my wife
The Wise Oracle: but what if your wife was Emily Blunt
Me: hmm
The Wise Oracle: but what if your wife was Emily Blunt
Me: hmm
I bought converse again, knowing that they'll fall apart in less than a year and that they're overpriced - I'm choosing to think of it as one of life's little foibles rather than a trap I keep striding confidently into
June 26, 2026 at 6:36 PM
I bought converse again, knowing that they'll fall apart in less than a year and that they're overpriced - I'm choosing to think of it as one of life's little foibles rather than a trap I keep striding confidently into
Spider-man would be really good at basketball. The knicks should draft him
June 26, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Spider-man would be really good at basketball. The knicks should draft him
Still going strong in 2026
This has been the best development of 2025 btw
I thought of a fun new way to refer to doing number two: "I pooped my pants in the toilet." Try it out next time!
May 29, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Still going strong in 2026
Tiktok showing me ads for new movies in between footage of abandoned buildings and screaming gnomes - and that's an algorithm I curated for MYSELF. Are you kidding me?? I'd rather drink the black sarcophagus water than watch Jennifer Aniston in literally anything.
May 26, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Tiktok showing me ads for new movies in between footage of abandoned buildings and screaming gnomes - and that's an algorithm I curated for MYSELF. Are you kidding me?? I'd rather drink the black sarcophagus water than watch Jennifer Aniston in literally anything.
"I'm here to eat hot chip and lie, and I'm all out of hot chip" ::opens bag of hot chip::
May 22, 2026 at 12:26 PM
"I'm here to eat hot chip and lie, and I'm all out of hot chip" ::opens bag of hot chip::
An ad for Busch beer came on and I muttered to my wife "It's good they're advertising bush because people be trimming it too much these days," and she said "yeah totally wait what??"
May 20, 2026 at 12:22 AM
An ad for Busch beer came on and I muttered to my wife "It's good they're advertising bush because people be trimming it too much these days," and she said "yeah totally wait what??"
Just got to the end of end of act 1 of RE Requiem and I'll just say... this is a Resident Evil-ass Resident Evil game
May 3, 2026 at 11:17 PM
Just got to the end of end of act 1 of RE Requiem and I'll just say... this is a Resident Evil-ass Resident Evil game
When I was in the ER for my kidney stone, one of the nurses gave me a pill and I said "They just taste better when you get them in the little paper cups, don't you think?" and that got a genuine laugh, and I felt great about that, and that says a lot about me I think
April 17, 2026 at 7:42 PM
When I was in the ER for my kidney stone, one of the nurses gave me a pill and I said "They just taste better when you get them in the little paper cups, don't you think?" and that got a genuine laugh, and I felt great about that, and that says a lot about me I think
Megadeth be like "The military industrial complex is going to lead to our collective subjugation and eventually extinction! Also there's a FUCKING WIZARD!!! ::sickest guitar solo you've ever heard::"
April 17, 2026 at 1:48 PM
Megadeth be like "The military industrial complex is going to lead to our collective subjugation and eventually extinction! Also there's a FUCKING WIZARD!!! ::sickest guitar solo you've ever heard::"