dollcrimes
@dollcrimes.bsky.social
casual team fortress 2 player
Reposted by dollcrimes
A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. (1/n)
Okay in honor of Vrussini
What’s the most embarrassing you’ve ever been while down bad.
What’s the most embarrassing you’ve ever been while down bad.
She was DOWN BAD for this man OMG
April 23, 2026 at 9:47 PM
A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. (1/n)
Reposted by dollcrimes
Reposted by dollcrimes
Reposted by dollcrimes
for more than sixty years all the big airlines hire fuzzy little freaks to stand on the wings, but only near certain windows. have you seen them?
April 11, 2026 at 7:27 PM
for more than sixty years all the big airlines hire fuzzy little freaks to stand on the wings, but only near certain windows. have you seen them?
Reposted by dollcrimes
I wish I never won this game of solitaire
seeing avis like this on the timeline so I guess it's "you're not actually poor because this chart said so" time
April 12, 2026 at 4:07 AM
I wish I never won this game of solitaire
Reposted by dollcrimes
jacked arms handshake meme with the arms labeled The Left and The Right and where the hands meet it says Not Understanding What A HIPAA Violation Is
March 16, 2026 at 6:04 PM
jacked arms handshake meme with the arms labeled The Left and The Right and where the hands meet it says Not Understanding What A HIPAA Violation Is
Reposted by dollcrimes
Have it over along with a few other friends. Have some drinks. Tell some stories. Play truth or dare. By the end of the night, if your instincts are right, you might be dealing with a Bicurious of Hormuz.
how would YOU open the Strait of Hormuz? Wrong answers only
March 16, 2026 at 3:45 PM
Have it over along with a few other friends. Have some drinks. Tell some stories. Play truth or dare. By the end of the night, if your instincts are right, you might be dealing with a Bicurious of Hormuz.
Reposted by dollcrimes
damn it this is good, Martin Short impersonating Robin Williams
February 5, 2026 at 5:34 PM
damn it this is good, Martin Short impersonating Robin Williams
good news: i want to kill myself
bad news: i haven't gotten around to doing it yet
bad news: i haven't gotten around to doing it yet
February 14, 2024 at 8:01 AM
good news: i want to kill myself
bad news: i haven't gotten around to doing it yet
bad news: i haven't gotten around to doing it yet
my internet at work last night was so spotty that i barely heard anything from edge but it worked perfectly for christian's "go fuck yourself". miraculous. love u christian
October 5, 2023 at 12:08 PM
my internet at work last night was so spotty that i barely heard anything from edge but it worked perfectly for christian's "go fuck yourself". miraculous. love u christian
i spent the whole night thinking "oh whatever i just want edge to get his ass beat by christian, i don't care otherwise" and then the lights went out and i lost my fucking mind 🤼♂️
October 2, 2023 at 4:34 AM
i spent the whole night thinking "oh whatever i just want edge to get his ass beat by christian, i don't care otherwise" and then the lights went out and i lost my fucking mind 🤼♂️
Reposted by dollcrimes
Reposted by dollcrimes
Why does John Fetterman, the Largest Senator, simply not grind their bones to make his bread
BREAKING: A Manchin-Romney dress-code bill is coming to the Senate floor for unanimous consent
September 27, 2023 at 11:01 PM
Why does John Fetterman, the Largest Senator, simply not grind their bones to make his bread
Reposted by dollcrimes
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (1957, dir. Jack Arnold)
This is what it felt like having to take an exam while extremely hungover
September 23, 2023 at 11:02 PM
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (1957, dir. Jack Arnold)
Reposted by dollcrimes
Me, whenever a new Zelda game comes out.
September 24, 2023 at 9:18 PM
Me, whenever a new Zelda game comes out.
AEW was a good show tonight even though, if i am being completely honest, not getting to see MJF in person was genuinely disappointing. 🤼♂️
September 14, 2023 at 8:37 AM
AEW was a good show tonight even though, if i am being completely honest, not getting to see MJF in person was genuinely disappointing. 🤼♂️
Reposted by dollcrimes
To be fair he meant SCTV legend Andrea "Test" Martin, and not the late CTE-sufferer Andrew "Test" Martin.
Bill Simmons suggests WWE should bring back Test, who died in 2009
Bill Simmons suggests WWE should bring back Test, who died in 2009
Speaking to WWE President Nick Khan, Bill Simmons suggested the company bring back the wrestler Test, who died in 2009.
ow.ly
September 13, 2023 at 6:06 PM
To be fair he meant SCTV legend Andrea "Test" Martin, and not the late CTE-sufferer Andrew "Test" Martin.
Reposted by dollcrimes
Vince McMahon announcing the 1992 Royal Rumble lineup, but it's beloved characters from Second City Television.
BILL NEEDLE... ED GRIMLEY... BOB & DOUG McKENZIE... EDDDDIIIIIIITTTTTHHHHHHH PRICKLEY... DOCTOR TONGUE... ALLEGED REAL-WORLD CHAMPION EARL CAMMEMBERT... COUUUUUNNNNNTTTTTTT FLLLLLLOOYYYDD
BILL NEEDLE... ED GRIMLEY... BOB & DOUG McKENZIE... EDDDDIIIIIIITTTTTHHHHHHH PRICKLEY... DOCTOR TONGUE... ALLEGED REAL-WORLD CHAMPION EARL CAMMEMBERT... COUUUUUNNNNNTTTTTTT FLLLLLLOOYYYDD
September 13, 2023 at 6:11 PM
Vince McMahon announcing the 1992 Royal Rumble lineup, but it's beloved characters from Second City Television.
BILL NEEDLE... ED GRIMLEY... BOB & DOUG McKENZIE... EDDDDIIIIIIITTTTTHHHHHHH PRICKLEY... DOCTOR TONGUE... ALLEGED REAL-WORLD CHAMPION EARL CAMMEMBERT... COUUUUUNNNNNTTTTTTT FLLLLLLOOYYYDD
BILL NEEDLE... ED GRIMLEY... BOB & DOUG McKENZIE... EDDDDIIIIIIITTTTTHHHHHHH PRICKLEY... DOCTOR TONGUE... ALLEGED REAL-WORLD CHAMPION EARL CAMMEMBERT... COUUUUUNNNNNTTTTTTT FLLLLLLOOYYYDD
Reposted by dollcrimes
SAY YER FOND OF ME LOBSTER
September 14, 2023 at 12:19 AM
SAY YER FOND OF ME LOBSTER
Reposted by dollcrimes
jiminy glick should host to catch a predator
September 8, 2023 at 11:37 PM
jiminy glick should host to catch a predator
Reposted by dollcrimes
Like come on, don’t be a little bitch. I want an official fish and veggie bread recipe. I want to know just how disgusting archon loaf is supposed to be
I find those themed cookbooks endlessly hilarious. Like at JOANN’s there was a D&D one and I nearly lost my shit when it had a part for the Yawning Portal and it was just… normal-ass food.
The FFXIV one is a major disappointment solely because they were too cowardly to have an archon loaf recipe
The FFXIV one is a major disappointment solely because they were too cowardly to have an archon loaf recipe
September 8, 2023 at 11:54 PM
Like come on, don’t be a little bitch. I want an official fish and veggie bread recipe. I want to know just how disgusting archon loaf is supposed to be
letterboxd last four friday 📽 you can often tell when i pick the movie vs when a coworker does
September 8, 2023 at 10:27 PM
letterboxd last four friday 📽 you can often tell when i pick the movie vs when a coworker does