I watched White Christmas with my kids tonight and after they asked if anyone from that movie is still alive, I was THRILLED to learn that Barrie Chase of “mutual, I’m sure” fame is alive and presumably well in California. I hope she’s having a wonderful evening.
December 15, 2024 at 2:15 AM
I watched White Christmas with my kids tonight and after they asked if anyone from that movie is still alive, I was THRILLED to learn that Barrie Chase of “mutual, I’m sure” fame is alive and presumably well in California. I hope she’s having a wonderful evening.
Reposted by Erika Grotto
(Ebenezer Scrooge on his way to debut his new “fun” persona to the family of the employee he’s impoverished:) Maybe I’ll razz Bob a little bit when I get there. I think we have that kind of relationship
December 14, 2024 at 4:11 PM
(Ebenezer Scrooge on his way to debut his new “fun” persona to the family of the employee he’s impoverished:) Maybe I’ll razz Bob a little bit when I get there. I think we have that kind of relationship
Something I have never said in real life that TV characters say constantly: “What are you doing here?” Do real people say this when someone knocks on their door?
December 11, 2024 at 3:46 AM
Something I have never said in real life that TV characters say constantly: “What are you doing here?” Do real people say this when someone knocks on their door?
Whoever was talking about hot chocolate and recommended Abuelita, thank you. I never considered trying it because I need dairy free, but everyone saying how good it was made me check and yay, it is!*
*It has a “may contain” note, so not right for everyone, but fine for me.
*It has a “may contain” note, so not right for everyone, but fine for me.
December 8, 2024 at 7:30 PM
Whoever was talking about hot chocolate and recommended Abuelita, thank you. I never considered trying it because I need dairy free, but everyone saying how good it was made me check and yay, it is!*
*It has a “may contain” note, so not right for everyone, but fine for me.
*It has a “may contain” note, so not right for everyone, but fine for me.
“Everyone likes you. You’re just tired.”
- A thing I just said to my six year old that might help some of you too
- A thing I just said to my six year old that might help some of you too
December 7, 2024 at 3:04 AM
“Everyone likes you. You’re just tired.”
- A thing I just said to my six year old that might help some of you too
- A thing I just said to my six year old that might help some of you too
Several months ago I told the story of my youngest falling in love with the plastic frogs outside a neighbor’s house. When the neighbor died, her daughters gave my daughter the frogs. The new family in the house has a daughter in the same class as my middle, and they’re great friends.
December 5, 2024 at 12:53 PM
Several months ago I told the story of my youngest falling in love with the plastic frogs outside a neighbor’s house. When the neighbor died, her daughters gave my daughter the frogs. The new family in the house has a daughter in the same class as my middle, and they’re great friends.
I’m sure it’s just a website quirk, but every time I move my mouse to “get in touch” so I can contact this person, the button disappears. And honestly, I kinda respect it.
December 4, 2024 at 10:14 PM
I’m sure it’s just a website quirk, but every time I move my mouse to “get in touch” so I can contact this person, the button disappears. And honestly, I kinda respect it.
You know those guys who knock on doors and ask if they can mow people’s lawns or power wash their walks? If there’s one out there who finished basements, have them call me.
December 4, 2024 at 8:33 PM
You know those guys who knock on doors and ask if they can mow people’s lawns or power wash their walks? If there’s one out there who finished basements, have them call me.
The only thing I’m gonna add to the Love Actually discourse is that for all Emma Thompson knew, Alan Rickman could have gotten her the necklace and a CD and just kept the necklace a secret until they opened their other gifts.
November 30, 2024 at 5:49 PM
The only thing I’m gonna add to the Love Actually discourse is that for all Emma Thompson knew, Alan Rickman could have gotten her the necklace and a CD and just kept the necklace a secret until they opened their other gifts.
My mother-in-law brought this to Thanksgiving for me. The last time I saw her, I’d mentioned St. Anthony was my favorite because he helps me find my lost stuff, and she wanted to give it to me then but couldn’t find it. Now that’s Catholic comedy (but also 100% true).
November 30, 2024 at 5:25 PM
My mother-in-law brought this to Thanksgiving for me. The last time I saw her, I’d mentioned St. Anthony was my favorite because he helps me find my lost stuff, and she wanted to give it to me then but couldn’t find it. Now that’s Catholic comedy (but also 100% true).
Slightly different words, same message.
November 28, 2024 at 3:46 AM
Slightly different words, same message.
Cooking Thanksgiving dinner is a Task, but it wasn’t until I sat down and actually wrote a schedule for oven time that I realized just how much there is to do. I’m already tired from tomorrow.
November 28, 2024 at 1:37 AM
Cooking Thanksgiving dinner is a Task, but it wasn’t until I sat down and actually wrote a schedule for oven time that I realized just how much there is to do. I’m already tired from tomorrow.
Of all the lies on the Internet, the one I believe to be equal parts pervasive, annoying and utterly harmless is that whatever you’re trying to clean, white vinegar and baking soda will take care of it.
November 27, 2024 at 3:04 AM
Of all the lies on the Internet, the one I believe to be equal parts pervasive, annoying and utterly harmless is that whatever you’re trying to clean, white vinegar and baking soda will take care of it.
There’s a lot that’s upsetting about the discussion of weight loss drugs, but the thing that I can’t get over is that we can’t, as a society, agree on a pronunciation of “semaglutide.”
November 25, 2024 at 8:32 PM
There’s a lot that’s upsetting about the discussion of weight loss drugs, but the thing that I can’t get over is that we can’t, as a society, agree on a pronunciation of “semaglutide.”
I spent my entire morning recording two podcasts and a news segment on gun violence. Now, I’m going to have some lunch with my kids and try to cleanse the mental palate with butt jokes and cake.
November 25, 2024 at 6:24 PM
I spent my entire morning recording two podcasts and a news segment on gun violence. Now, I’m going to have some lunch with my kids and try to cleanse the mental palate with butt jokes and cake.
My first grader’s class planted pumpkin seeds in November and brought them home, so now I have a fast-growing plant I can’t put outdoors but can’t bring myself to dispose of. Anyway, his name is Little Sprout and he’s twice the height he was yesterday.
November 25, 2024 at 4:26 AM
My first grader’s class planted pumpkin seeds in November and brought them home, so now I have a fast-growing plant I can’t put outdoors but can’t bring myself to dispose of. Anyway, his name is Little Sprout and he’s twice the height he was yesterday.
Big 90s Band played at my college and I ran into the guitarist at a bar after. We had a pleasant chat until a drunk girl came in, hit on him and took him home. I spent the rest of the night playing pool with the opening band, who were all awesome.
I talked for almost ten minutes to a guy I used to know whose name I couldn't remember at Grand Central Station -- my family, his family, where we were going for the holidays. Three hours later I realized we were not friends, and he was in fact Alec Baldwin
Twitter is doing “best celebrity interactions” discourse so we should do WORST ones
not necessarily like that they were a jerk, just that the interaction itself was a fail on some level
like one time Robert Sean Leonard walked past me and I short-circuited so badly I spilled guacamole on myself
not necessarily like that they were a jerk, just that the interaction itself was a fail on some level
like one time Robert Sean Leonard walked past me and I short-circuited so badly I spilled guacamole on myself
November 25, 2024 at 12:57 AM
Big 90s Band played at my college and I ran into the guitarist at a bar after. We had a pleasant chat until a drunk girl came in, hit on him and took him home. I spent the rest of the night playing pool with the opening band, who were all awesome.
Optimist: The cup is half full.
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
My kids: That’s not today’s cup on the table. That’s yesterday’s cup. No, the other one is from the day before. That one over there is my sister’s from last week. My cup today is pink and I had it when I walked in the door…
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
My kids: That’s not today’s cup on the table. That’s yesterday’s cup. No, the other one is from the day before. That one over there is my sister’s from last week. My cup today is pink and I had it when I walked in the door…
Optimist: The cup is half full.
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
Bra fitter: Sorry this is my first day
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
Bra fitter: Sorry this is my first day
Optimist: The cup is half full.
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
Copy editor: Nine pages ago it was described as a "mug"; do you intend the terms to be interchangeable or is this supposed to be a different drinking vessel?
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
Copy editor: Nine pages ago it was described as a "mug"; do you intend the terms to be interchangeable or is this supposed to be a different drinking vessel?
November 23, 2024 at 9:30 PM
Optimist: The cup is half full.
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
My kids: That’s not today’s cup on the table. That’s yesterday’s cup. No, the other one is from the day before. That one over there is my sister’s from last week. My cup today is pink and I had it when I walked in the door…
Pessimist: The cup is half empty.
My kids: That’s not today’s cup on the table. That’s yesterday’s cup. No, the other one is from the day before. That one over there is my sister’s from last week. My cup today is pink and I had it when I walked in the door…
Who needs fancy chocolate covered grasshoppers when you can have
November 16, 2024 at 7:03 PM
Who needs fancy chocolate covered grasshoppers when you can have
Of all the stuff I misjudged about how my adult life would go, one of the most surprising is how often I would have to purchase some kind of filter for my home.
November 15, 2024 at 2:40 PM
Of all the stuff I misjudged about how my adult life would go, one of the most surprising is how often I would have to purchase some kind of filter for my home.
Sometimes I put random food words together in a search bar to see if anyone’s posted a recipe and there has been one 100% of the time.
November 14, 2024 at 7:55 PM
Sometimes I put random food words together in a search bar to see if anyone’s posted a recipe and there has been one 100% of the time.
I made the Olympic chocolate muffins. They were really good, but I think all these athletes must love them so much because they usually eat egg whites and spinach. But I’m happy that Norwegian fellow found some joy and hope he’s having fun.
August 4, 2024 at 10:11 PM
I made the Olympic chocolate muffins. They were really good, but I think all these athletes must love them so much because they usually eat egg whites and spinach. But I’m happy that Norwegian fellow found some joy and hope he’s having fun.
No insertion needed. Clearly she purchased the Spinal Tap classic, Smell the Glove.
I can't offer money to the campaign, but I can give a meme template— what record did Kamala buy?
Transparent PNG. Insert your own LP cover
Transparent PNG. Insert your own LP cover
July 23, 2024 at 1:08 PM
No insertion needed. Clearly she purchased the Spinal Tap classic, Smell the Glove.
It’s been almost five years since we said a heartbreaking goodbye to our beloved dog. I insisted on keeping her crate because someday, maybe…. Today, we sold it. I’m sadder than I expected to be.
June 20, 2024 at 9:23 PM
It’s been almost five years since we said a heartbreaking goodbye to our beloved dog. I insisted on keeping her crate because someday, maybe…. Today, we sold it. I’m sadder than I expected to be.
I’m a lot less intense with writing pet peeves than I used to be, but I still bristle at the use of EST, CST, etc. when it’s daylight time.
May 31, 2024 at 4:43 PM
I’m a lot less intense with writing pet peeves than I used to be, but I still bristle at the use of EST, CST, etc. when it’s daylight time.