Barry Surreal
@ferdinandsforehead.bsky.social
I fell off the floor and hit my cheb on the drawer handle
I'm thinking of you
And the things you glue to me
That makes me love you
Now I'm covered in Decoupage
And the things you glue to me
That makes me love you
Now I'm covered in Decoupage
September 29, 2026 at 6:32 AM
I'm thinking of you
And the things you glue to me
That makes me love you
Now I'm covered in Decoupage
And the things you glue to me
That makes me love you
Now I'm covered in Decoupage
Just murdered Mick Jagger and Keith Richards with a Chicken.
Killed two stones with one bird.
Killed two stones with one bird.
April 15, 2026 at 6:20 AM
Just murdered Mick Jagger and Keith Richards with a Chicken.
Killed two stones with one bird.
Killed two stones with one bird.
Reposted by Barry Surreal
How does a Dutch Gerbil stop water?
It builds a Hamster Dam
It builds a Hamster Dam
November 26, 2025 at 9:10 AM
How does a Dutch Gerbil stop water?
It builds a Hamster Dam
It builds a Hamster Dam
Tonight in my restaurant I will be serving sitting bull and chips with a glass of running water. I am the Sioux chef.
October 28, 2025 at 7:55 AM
Tonight in my restaurant I will be serving sitting bull and chips with a glass of running water. I am the Sioux chef.
You know you've passed middle age when the people you hate outweigh the people you like
October 28, 2025 at 7:55 AM
You know you've passed middle age when the people you hate outweigh the people you like
Quick question.
D'y'likesoup?
D'y'likesoup?
October 27, 2025 at 7:04 AM
Quick question.
D'y'likesoup?
D'y'likesoup?
It's just loads of footballers sitting around drinking tea. It's the last time I watch Matcha the day.
October 24, 2025 at 12:42 PM
It's just loads of footballers sitting around drinking tea. It's the last time I watch Matcha the day.
Doctor says I've got a cute angina. He's right of course. It's lovely.
October 24, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Doctor says I've got a cute angina. He's right of course. It's lovely.
This Halloween I'm going to dress up as 2026-2028
October 24, 2025 at 12:41 PM
This Halloween I'm going to dress up as 2026-2028
Bloody semi-bald oven thieves!!
Combing over hair, stealing our hobs.
Combing over hair, stealing our hobs.
October 24, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Bloody semi-bald oven thieves!!
Combing over hair, stealing our hobs.
Combing over hair, stealing our hobs.
Reposted by Barry Surreal
Of course, the T-Junction's full name is Terrence Junction.
October 16, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Of course, the T-Junction's full name is Terrence Junction.
Has anyone ever NOT called it St. Pancreas?
And has anyone really ever thought they were the first one to do so? Even though there was actually a first one to do so, however many years ago in 7AD or whatever.
And has anyone really ever thought they were the first one to do so? Even though there was actually a first one to do so, however many years ago in 7AD or whatever.
October 13, 2025 at 9:17 AM
Has anyone ever NOT called it St. Pancreas?
And has anyone really ever thought they were the first one to do so? Even though there was actually a first one to do so, however many years ago in 7AD or whatever.
And has anyone really ever thought they were the first one to do so? Even though there was actually a first one to do so, however many years ago in 7AD or whatever.
Scottish engineers have built a plane out of Helium that will take people to Paris-based theme parks.
They haven't managed to get it work properly yet though because it flies you to France but it Disney Land.
They haven't managed to get it work properly yet though because it flies you to France but it Disney Land.
October 13, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Scottish engineers have built a plane out of Helium that will take people to Paris-based theme parks.
They haven't managed to get it work properly yet though because it flies you to France but it Disney Land.
They haven't managed to get it work properly yet though because it flies you to France but it Disney Land.
I miss dartboards
October 12, 2025 at 6:27 PM
I miss dartboards
If you want to know if someone is ticklish you should try the test tickles
October 12, 2025 at 6:27 PM
If you want to know if someone is ticklish you should try the test tickles
I used to work in a small pharmacy but I got too big for my boots
October 11, 2025 at 7:02 AM
I used to work in a small pharmacy but I got too big for my boots
Down on the farm.
So I've got rid of the ducks.
So I've got rid of the ducks.
October 11, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Down on the farm.
So I've got rid of the ducks.
So I've got rid of the ducks.
Me: what's it all about Alfie?
Alfie: the hokey cokey
Alfie: the hokey cokey
October 11, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Me: what's it all about Alfie?
Alfie: the hokey cokey
Alfie: the hokey cokey
What kind of jam did Bob Marley like in his donuts?
Strawberry
Strawberry
October 11, 2025 at 7:02 AM
What kind of jam did Bob Marley like in his donuts?
Strawberry
Strawberry
After a day at work, I feel like a Pacman ghost who's just been eaten.
I'm just a pair of floating eyes that has to get home as quickly as possible so I can regenerate and emerge the next morning, the colour I used to be - not the flashing blue and white terrified idiot I've been since dinnertime.
I'm just a pair of floating eyes that has to get home as quickly as possible so I can regenerate and emerge the next morning, the colour I used to be - not the flashing blue and white terrified idiot I've been since dinnertime.
October 10, 2025 at 1:36 PM
After a day at work, I feel like a Pacman ghost who's just been eaten.
I'm just a pair of floating eyes that has to get home as quickly as possible so I can regenerate and emerge the next morning, the colour I used to be - not the flashing blue and white terrified idiot I've been since dinnertime.
I'm just a pair of floating eyes that has to get home as quickly as possible so I can regenerate and emerge the next morning, the colour I used to be - not the flashing blue and white terrified idiot I've been since dinnertime.