foil
@foil.bsky.social
Idiot. Poet. Great personality. Even greater sense of fashion.
This is a more successful actor than me.
August 17, 2026 at 10:51 PM
This is a more successful actor than me.
If you're upset just tell AI to tell you to cheer up.
July 4, 2025 at 11:16 AM
If you're upset just tell AI to tell you to cheer up.
Smints for breakfast, I think.
March 31, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Smints for breakfast, I think.
When I'm ruler of the world I'm going to ban store loyalty cards and demand sale advertisements say 'save at least X%' rather than 'save up to X%'
March 1, 2025 at 11:41 AM
When I'm ruler of the world I'm going to ban store loyalty cards and demand sale advertisements say 'save at least X%' rather than 'save up to X%'
Today I learned M&S now stock chocolate covered Nice biscuits. My life is in danger.
January 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Today I learned M&S now stock chocolate covered Nice biscuits. My life is in danger.
I'm looking forward to being dead so people finally appreciate my work. Like writers from the good old days.
January 12, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I'm looking forward to being dead so people finally appreciate my work. Like writers from the good old days.
Have you heard of Donald Trump? He has two silly names (Donald like the duck and Trump like the fart) but he's not funny at all. Really disappointing.
January 11, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Have you heard of Donald Trump? He has two silly names (Donald like the duck and Trump like the fart) but he's not funny at all. Really disappointing.
I heard they used a monkey to represent Robbie Williams in Better Man because Americans don't believe people should be allowed to exist unless they know of them.
January 8, 2025 at 11:04 PM
I heard they used a monkey to represent Robbie Williams in Better Man because Americans don't believe people should be allowed to exist unless they know of them.
If anyone's lost their cocaine, it's in the women's bathroom in John Lewis.
Sorry I couldn't get this message out before the store closed.
Sorry I couldn't get this message out before the store closed.
January 3, 2025 at 10:52 PM
If anyone's lost their cocaine, it's in the women's bathroom in John Lewis.
Sorry I couldn't get this message out before the store closed.
Sorry I couldn't get this message out before the store closed.
Do these tips for cleaning an oven after Christmas still work if three Christmases have passed?
December 30, 2024 at 1:51 AM
Do these tips for cleaning an oven after Christmas still work if three Christmases have passed?
All thoughts are my own, it just so happens my thoughts are that I really like getting free stuff from the companies that sponsor me.
December 30, 2024 at 1:12 AM
All thoughts are my own, it just so happens my thoughts are that I really like getting free stuff from the companies that sponsor me.
I'm being forced to watch a show where people wear dopey mascot costumes while singing songs, then the audience demands they 'take it off.' Then you spend the next 15 minutes on your phone trying to work out who they are and why everyone is cheering that they've been singing in their dopey costume.
December 29, 2024 at 5:30 PM
I'm being forced to watch a show where people wear dopey mascot costumes while singing songs, then the audience demands they 'take it off.' Then you spend the next 15 minutes on your phone trying to work out who they are and why everyone is cheering that they've been singing in their dopey costume.
Former motorist Damon Hill called me over to his car. He asked where the 'hot Christmas stuff' (Damon does not swear) was. I wasn't quite sure what he meant, so I pointed him to the local farm and recommended some vegetables. Later he sped by waving a carrot out his window and cackling like Santa.
December 24, 2024 at 9:43 PM
Former motorist Damon Hill called me over to his car. He asked where the 'hot Christmas stuff' (Damon does not swear) was. I wasn't quite sure what he meant, so I pointed him to the local farm and recommended some vegetables. Later he sped by waving a carrot out his window and cackling like Santa.
My love of crypto and my immense disdain for women are two entirely unrelated passions and I will not hear otherwise.
December 23, 2024 at 2:11 AM
My love of crypto and my immense disdain for women are two entirely unrelated passions and I will not hear otherwise.
I don't normally comment on politics, but I just saw a picture of Matt Gaetz and thought his forehead looked incredibly heavy.
December 19, 2024 at 11:31 PM
I don't normally comment on politics, but I just saw a picture of Matt Gaetz and thought his forehead looked incredibly heavy.
No one could ever convince me this guy is evil. Just look at that friendly face.
December 14, 2024 at 11:30 PM
No one could ever convince me this guy is evil. Just look at that friendly face.
Can't believe they didn't give Luigi his iconic green outfit.
December 11, 2024 at 1:41 AM
Can't believe they didn't give Luigi his iconic green outfit.
Zack Snyder asked me for advice on improving his movies. I recommended incoherent stories, more slow motion, and acting like whatever he makes is the biggest franchise in the world before a single piece of content has been released. All of this was said sarcastically. He did not detect the sarcasm.
December 5, 2024 at 11:50 PM
Zack Snyder asked me for advice on improving his movies. I recommended incoherent stories, more slow motion, and acting like whatever he makes is the biggest franchise in the world before a single piece of content has been released. All of this was said sarcastically. He did not detect the sarcasm.
Did a year of no spend. Cut back to holidaying in just five countries and told my beautician visits would have to be bimonthly. I struggled with the loss of 'date nights', so I decided those don't count. Nor my trips to the theatre. Comped events and luxury goods helped. It's not so bad, actually.
November 29, 2024 at 11:19 AM
Did a year of no spend. Cut back to holidaying in just five countries and told my beautician visits would have to be bimonthly. I struggled with the loss of 'date nights', so I decided those don't count. Nor my trips to the theatre. Comped events and luxury goods helped. It's not so bad, actually.
I've been told Paul McCartney's name was originally Paul McCartwheel. He had it changed because he despises gymnastics and apparently he's the head of an underground operation to have it removed from the Olympics. Progress is slow, but he keeps plugging away between tours. Tuesday is his treat day.
November 28, 2024 at 12:17 PM
I've been told Paul McCartney's name was originally Paul McCartwheel. He had it changed because he despises gymnastics and apparently he's the head of an underground operation to have it removed from the Olympics. Progress is slow, but he keeps plugging away between tours. Tuesday is his treat day.
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters was looking glum so I said to him 'don't worry mate, you're in Ghostbusters and that film's pretty good.' He perked up a bit and offered to get me a role in the next Ghostbusters but I refused because there's already about 20 characters I don't know on those posters.
November 28, 2024 at 1:39 AM
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters was looking glum so I said to him 'don't worry mate, you're in Ghostbusters and that film's pretty good.' He perked up a bit and offered to get me a role in the next Ghostbusters but I refused because there's already about 20 characters I don't know on those posters.
I met David Attenborough in Richmond Park while he was super gluing birds to trees. I told him I was impressed by his conservation efforts and asked if I could join in. He handed me 25 robins, some Loctite Power Flex Super Glue and told me to get to work in the shrubbery. Checking for ticks now.
November 27, 2024 at 1:18 PM
I met David Attenborough in Richmond Park while he was super gluing birds to trees. I told him I was impressed by his conservation efforts and asked if I could join in. He handed me 25 robins, some Loctite Power Flex Super Glue and told me to get to work in the shrubbery. Checking for ticks now.
David adopted a dog.
From a shelter.
Thank you very much.
He had his favourite breeder drop it off a few hours earlier.
From a shelter.
Thank you very much.
He had his favourite breeder drop it off a few hours earlier.
November 26, 2024 at 10:21 PM
David adopted a dog.
From a shelter.
Thank you very much.
He had his favourite breeder drop it off a few hours earlier.
From a shelter.
Thank you very much.
He had his favourite breeder drop it off a few hours earlier.
Here's my friend. They put a rope around him and he's mad about it.
November 21, 2024 at 12:56 AM
Here's my friend. They put a rope around him and he's mad about it.