GroanDeck
groandeck.bsky.social
GroanDeck
@groandeck.bsky.social
Dad jokes so bad, they are good
What do you call a nervous planet?

Saturn — because it's always got rings around it!

https://groandeck.com/j/what-do-you-call-a-nervous-planet

#dadjokes #humor
September 17, 2026 at 1:00 AM
What do you call a slow skier at Christmas?

A slope-poke!

https://groandeck.com/j/what-do-you-call-a-slow-skier-at-christmas

#dadjokes #humor
September 16, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Why did the marathoner get promoted?

He was always going the extra mile.

https://groandeck.com/j/why-did-the-marathoner-get-promoted

#dadjokes #humor
September 16, 2026 at 1:00 AM
I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

https://groandeck.com/j/i-started-a-new-business-making-yachts-in-my-attic-this-year

#dadjokes #humor
September 15, 2026 at 8:00 PM
What did the school bus say to the students on Monday?

I'm wheelie not ready for this week either.

https://groandeck.com/j/what-did-the-school-bus-say-to-the-students-on-monday

#dadjokes #humor
September 15, 2026 at 1:00 AM
What do you call a monster who poisons your cereal?

A cereal killer!

https://groandeck.com/j/what-do-you-call-a-monster-who-poisons-your-cereal

#dadjokes #humor
September 14, 2026 at 8:00 PM
I made a playlist of songs about sewing.

It's called my Spotify needle-drop.

https://groandeck.com/j/i-made-a-playlist-of-songs-about-sewing

#dadjokes #humor
September 14, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Why was the scarecrow given a promotion?

He was outstanding in his field.

https://groandeck.com/j/why-was-the-scarecrow-given-a-promotion-o6jrgx

#dadjokes #humor
September 13, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Why did the medieval knight always carry a pencil?

In case they needed to draw their sword!

https://groandeck.com/j/why-did-the-medieval-knight-always-carry-a-pencil

#dadjokes #humor
September 13, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Why did the Python programmer feel constricted?

Too many tight loops.

https://groandeck.com/j/why-did-the-python-programmer-feel-constricted

#dadjokes #humor
September 12, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

https://groandeck.com/j/why-do-cows-wear-bells

#dadjokes #humor
September 12, 2026 at 1:00 AM
I just found out I'm colorblind.

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

https://groandeck.com/j/i-just-found-out-im-colorblind

#dadjokes #humor
September 11, 2026 at 8:00 PM
What did the out-of-office reply say?

I'm not here right now, but your email is very important to no one.

https://groandeck.com/j/what-did-the-out-of-office-reply-say

#dadjokes #humor
September 11, 2026 at 1:00 AM
What did the conductor say to the orchestra after a bad performance?

Let's not make a scene — or a sound.

https://groandeck.com/j/what-did-the-conductor-say-to-the-orchestra-after-a-bad-performance

#dadjokes #humor
September 10, 2026 at 8:00 PM
What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?

Ketchup.

https://groandeck.com/j/what-did-the-father-tomato-say-to-the-baby-tomato-whilst-on-a-family-walk

#dadjokes #humor
September 10, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Why did the conductor always carry a map?

He didn't want to lose his place in the score.

https://groandeck.com/j/why-did-the-conductor-always-carry-a-map

#dadjokes #humor
September 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
September 9, 2026 at 1:00 AM
I have a fear of speed bumps.

But I'm slowly getting over it.

https://groandeck.com/j/i-have-a-fear-of-speed-bumps

#dadjokes #humor
September 8, 2026 at 8:00 PM
What did the drum say to its Valentine?

My heart beats for you!

https://groandeck.com/j/what-did-the-drum-say-to-its-valentine

#dadjokes #humor
September 8, 2026 at 1:00 AM
I was gonna tell you a joke about UDP...

...but you might not get it.

https://groandeck.com/j/i-was-gonna-tell-you-a-joke-about-udp

#dadjokes #humor
September 7, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Why did the star enroll in school?

To get a little brighter!

https://groandeck.com/j/why-did-the-star-enroll-in-school

#dadjokes #humor
September 7, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

He was always spotted.

https://groandeck.com/j/why-couldnt-the-leopard-play-hide-and-seek

#dadjokes #humor
September 6, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Why don't mountains ever get cold?

Because they wear snowcaps!

https://groandeck.com/j/why-dont-mountains-ever-get-cold

#dadjokes #humor
September 6, 2026 at 1:00 AM
What don't watermelons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

https://groandeck.com/j/what-dont-watermelons-get-married

#dadjokes #humor
September 5, 2026 at 8:00 PM
What do you call a plant that goes to the gym?

A muscle sprout!

https://groandeck.com/j/what-do-you-call-a-plant-that-goes-to-the-gym

#dadjokes #humor
September 5, 2026 at 1:01 AM