Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
@jackandjillcpl.bsky.social
Uncoupled neurodivergent polyam atheist geek/Oxford comma user/nazi puncher with library cards in four NorCal counties. Sleepwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm. Elon hater before it was hip. Suburban and boring, but in a really sexy way. NSFW.
Pinned
I want to fuck you in a room littered with the corpses of Nazis we killed as foreplay.
I dreamt that Patriots owner Robert Kraft was producing a modern remake of The Fellowship of the Ring, about a squad of special forces guys who venture into Russia to retrieve a stolen Super Bowl ring.
Soundtrack by Ed Sheeran, obviously.
Soundtrack by Ed Sheeran, obviously.
September 15, 2026 at 4:11 PM
I dreamt that Patriots owner Robert Kraft was producing a modern remake of The Fellowship of the Ring, about a squad of special forces guys who venture into Russia to retrieve a stolen Super Bowl ring.
Soundtrack by Ed Sheeran, obviously.
Soundtrack by Ed Sheeran, obviously.
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
if you told me back in 2013 that we’d still be hearing about macklemore in 2026 i would’ve broken a chair over your head
September 15, 2026 at 4:56 AM
if you told me back in 2013 that we’d still be hearing about macklemore in 2026 i would’ve broken a chair over your head
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
He cooked Ed Sheeran on IG
September 14, 2026 at 5:10 PM
He cooked Ed Sheeran on IG
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
Ms. Rachel:
"Ed Sheeran had an opportunity…Instead he caved to people who refuse to accept what the world knows."
"If more than 20,000 white children were killed…everyone would be shouting…Treating some children's lives as less worthy of outrage is racist. Silence during a genocide is not neutral."
"Ed Sheeran had an opportunity…Instead he caved to people who refuse to accept what the world knows."
"If more than 20,000 white children were killed…everyone would be shouting…Treating some children's lives as less worthy of outrage is racist. Silence during a genocide is not neutral."
September 14, 2026 at 7:12 PM
Ms. Rachel:
"Ed Sheeran had an opportunity…Instead he caved to people who refuse to accept what the world knows."
"If more than 20,000 white children were killed…everyone would be shouting…Treating some children's lives as less worthy of outrage is racist. Silence during a genocide is not neutral."
"Ed Sheeran had an opportunity…Instead he caved to people who refuse to accept what the world knows."
"If more than 20,000 white children were killed…everyone would be shouting…Treating some children's lives as less worthy of outrage is racist. Silence during a genocide is not neutral."
Who's the most chaotic choice to give the One Ring to?
September 14, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Who's the most chaotic choice to give the One Ring to?
Same friend just got taken for $1,000 as part of a basic phishing scam. I feel bad for going full Dina Fox in the quoted image (in my head, not out loud), but holy shit I do not have the spoons right now.
This is my internal monologue every time this person messages me.
I'm a loyal friend and a great listener with more empathy than is probably healthy. But it's hard to keep scraping together sufficient emotional bandwidth, especially given the "fucked around and found out" nature of her situation.
I'm a loyal friend and a great listener with more empathy than is probably healthy. But it's hard to keep scraping together sufficient emotional bandwidth, especially given the "fucked around and found out" nature of her situation.
September 13, 2026 at 6:29 PM
Same friend just got taken for $1,000 as part of a basic phishing scam. I feel bad for going full Dina Fox in the quoted image (in my head, not out loud), but holy shit I do not have the spoons right now.
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
"I am for the dignity and safety and equal rights of trans people everywhere. Fuck you. The end."
"I do not believe you care about this issue. You are lying. In fact you're a straight up weirdo for fixating on kids' genitals so much. That is odd behavior. Let kids run around with their friends."
"I do not believe you care about this issue. You are lying. In fact you're a straight up weirdo for fixating on kids' genitals so much. That is odd behavior. Let kids run around with their friends."
I do not believe you care about this
You are lying
www.welcometohellworld.com
September 13, 2026 at 2:27 PM
"I am for the dignity and safety and equal rights of trans people everywhere. Fuck you. The end."
"I do not believe you care about this issue. You are lying. In fact you're a straight up weirdo for fixating on kids' genitals so much. That is odd behavior. Let kids run around with their friends."
"I do not believe you care about this issue. You are lying. In fact you're a straight up weirdo for fixating on kids' genitals so much. That is odd behavior. Let kids run around with their friends."
Downgrade a TV Show:
Jeers
Jeers
Downgrade a TV show:
I Like Lucy.
I Like Lucy.
Downgrade a TV show:
One & A Half Men
One & A Half Men
September 13, 2026 at 5:10 AM
Downgrade a TV Show:
Jeers
Jeers
Downgrade a TV Show:
Empty House
Empty House
Downgrade a TV show:
I Like Lucy.
I Like Lucy.
Downgrade a TV show:
One & A Half Men
One & A Half Men
September 13, 2026 at 5:09 AM
Downgrade a TV Show:
Empty House
Empty House
Downgrade a TV show:
The Silver Girls
The Silver Girls
Downgrade a TV show:
I Like Lucy.
I Like Lucy.
Downgrade a TV show:
One & A Half Men
One & A Half Men
September 13, 2026 at 5:09 AM
Downgrade a TV show:
The Silver Girls
The Silver Girls
Downgrade a TV show:
Four is Enough
Four is Enough
Downgrade a TV show:
I Like Lucy.
I Like Lucy.
Downgrade a TV show:
One & A Half Men
One & A Half Men
September 13, 2026 at 5:07 AM
Downgrade a TV show:
Four is Enough
Four is Enough
I'm home.
The adjustment is always difficult, in part because in addition to unpacking my clothes, food, and other items I brought down, I've also gotta figure out where all the stuff I'm bringing home for the first time is gonna go.
The adjustment is always difficult, in part because in addition to unpacking my clothes, food, and other items I brought down, I've also gotta figure out where all the stuff I'm bringing home for the first time is gonna go.
September 12, 2026 at 11:35 PM
I'm home.
The adjustment is always difficult, in part because in addition to unpacking my clothes, food, and other items I brought down, I've also gotta figure out where all the stuff I'm bringing home for the first time is gonna go.
The adjustment is always difficult, in part because in addition to unpacking my clothes, food, and other items I brought down, I've also gotta figure out where all the stuff I'm bringing home for the first time is gonna go.
Okay, I drove my daughter's girlfriend home, then filled up her gas tank on the way back to the condo because I'm a top-tier parent. Now I have to pack before I can sleep. Fucking A, I can't wait to be home.
Yes, it's still weird calling a place other than the condo where my family lives "home".
Yes, it's still weird calling a place other than the condo where my family lives "home".
September 12, 2026 at 6:45 AM
Okay, I drove my daughter's girlfriend home, then filled up her gas tank on the way back to the condo because I'm a top-tier parent. Now I have to pack before I can sleep. Fucking A, I can't wait to be home.
Yes, it's still weird calling a place other than the condo where my family lives "home".
Yes, it's still weird calling a place other than the condo where my family lives "home".
On top of this, I'm doing my best to stave off a low-grade panic attack. I'd have a drink or an edible or something, but (a) I'll need to drive my daughter's girlfriend home around 10, and (b) there are no mind-altering substances in this house.
Rough night. As usual I'm overextended; I was supposed to be home by now but my kid asked if I could rearrange some things and stay at the condo another day.
I keep reminding myself she's the only one who could conceivably be there for me when I'm old and (even more) feeble.
I keep reminding myself she's the only one who could conceivably be there for me when I'm old and (even more) feeble.
September 12, 2026 at 3:48 AM
On top of this, I'm doing my best to stave off a low-grade panic attack. I'd have a drink or an edible or something, but (a) I'll need to drive my daughter's girlfriend home around 10, and (b) there are no mind-altering substances in this house.
Rough night. As usual I'm overextended; I was supposed to be home by now but my kid asked if I could rearrange some things and stay at the condo another day.
I keep reminding myself she's the only one who could conceivably be there for me when I'm old and (even more) feeble.
I keep reminding myself she's the only one who could conceivably be there for me when I'm old and (even more) feeble.
September 12, 2026 at 3:47 AM
Rough night. As usual I'm overextended; I was supposed to be home by now but my kid asked if I could rearrange some things and stay at the condo another day.
I keep reminding myself she's the only one who could conceivably be there for me when I'm old and (even more) feeble.
I keep reminding myself she's the only one who could conceivably be there for me when I'm old and (even more) feeble.
Here's a #ThursdayThirstTrap, because you've worked hard all week and you deserve it, dammit!
September 10, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Here's a #ThursdayThirstTrap, because you've worked hard all week and you deserve it, dammit!
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
john fetterman is the first rat in history to climb onto a sinking ship.
September 10, 2026 at 4:32 AM
john fetterman is the first rat in history to climb onto a sinking ship.
Last therapy session for a month so of course we spent it talking about sex.
September 10, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Last therapy session for a month so of course we spent it talking about sex.
I've got therapy starting any second. Remind me to post a #ThursdayThirstTrap when it's over or I'm gonna forget like I did the last couple weeks.
September 10, 2026 at 4:03 PM
I've got therapy starting any second. Remind me to post a #ThursdayThirstTrap when it's over or I'm gonna forget like I did the last couple weeks.
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
I hate to say it, but this is why I don't have a lot of guy friends. Last thing I want to do is bond with some dude over mutual love of horror films, comics, etc. and then have him spring this insane bullshit on me.
I mean, statistically it's not likely to happen. But I'm still wary.
I mean, statistically it's not likely to happen. But I'm still wary.
sorry for screenshotting some twitter rando but you guys need to see this
September 10, 2026 at 2:52 AM
I hate to say it, but this is why I don't have a lot of guy friends. Last thing I want to do is bond with some dude over mutual love of horror films, comics, etc. and then have him spring this insane bullshit on me.
I mean, statistically it's not likely to happen. But I'm still wary.
I mean, statistically it's not likely to happen. But I'm still wary.
I just saw a post (not here) that said that so-called record profits are just unpaid wages, and now I really want to just burn the whole fucking thing to the ground.
That's a pretty good date idea, isn't it? Topple capitalism and chill?
That's a pretty good date idea, isn't it? Topple capitalism and chill?
September 10, 2026 at 2:32 AM
I just saw a post (not here) that said that so-called record profits are just unpaid wages, and now I really want to just burn the whole fucking thing to the ground.
That's a pretty good date idea, isn't it? Topple capitalism and chill?
That's a pretty good date idea, isn't it? Topple capitalism and chill?
I guess I should go get gas, since it's 11:30, the cheap* gas station is likely to be deserted, and there's a good chance my spot in the upstairs garage will still be here when I return.
*$5.30
*$5.30
September 9, 2026 at 6:37 AM
I guess I should go get gas, since it's 11:30, the cheap* gas station is likely to be deserted, and there's a good chance my spot in the upstairs garage will still be here when I return.
*$5.30
*$5.30
Reposted by Jack Q. Riley (He/Him)
AI BRO - “The tech future is coming! The godmachine is inevitable!!”
<me, casually walking over to the wall socket>
AI BRO - “The singularity is nigh!!! You don’t understand how powerful these models are!!!!”
<me, slowly bending down>
AI BRO - “IT WILL KILL US ALL!!!!!”
<me, unplugging it>
<me, casually walking over to the wall socket>
AI BRO - “The singularity is nigh!!! You don’t understand how powerful these models are!!!!”
<me, slowly bending down>
AI BRO - “IT WILL KILL US ALL!!!!!”
<me, unplugging it>
September 9, 2026 at 3:30 AM
AI BRO - “The tech future is coming! The godmachine is inevitable!!”
<me, casually walking over to the wall socket>
AI BRO - “The singularity is nigh!!! You don’t understand how powerful these models are!!!!”
<me, slowly bending down>
AI BRO - “IT WILL KILL US ALL!!!!!”
<me, unplugging it>
<me, casually walking over to the wall socket>
AI BRO - “The singularity is nigh!!! You don’t understand how powerful these models are!!!!”
<me, slowly bending down>
AI BRO - “IT WILL KILL US ALL!!!!!”
<me, unplugging it>