copenhagen_cool_ranch
@jasonalexhamstr.bsky.social
oh no I’m exploding
Snoopy is my best friend, but Snoopy’s best friend is Woodstock
September 18, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Snoopy is my best friend, but Snoopy’s best friend is Woodstock
outside with the Merlin app calling up my bird friends and sometimes they come say hey
September 18, 2026 at 3:57 PM
outside with the Merlin app calling up my bird friends and sometimes they come say hey
red-breasted nuthatches have kind of a JFK/mayor of Springfield vibe to their calls
September 18, 2026 at 3:52 PM
red-breasted nuthatches have kind of a JFK/mayor of Springfield vibe to their calls
if Snoopy’s best friend Woodstock wrote an autobiography I hope he’d name it “If You Wood”
September 17, 2026 at 9:43 PM
if Snoopy’s best friend Woodstock wrote an autobiography I hope he’d name it “If You Wood”
it can be hard to open up about my innate magical abilities. sometimes harder than it was to master them.
September 3, 2026 at 3:20 PM
it can be hard to open up about my innate magical abilities. sometimes harder than it was to master them.
what would you do if there’s an alien?
August 30, 2026 at 4:44 AM
what would you do if there’s an alien?
what are you whering?
August 22, 2026 at 6:33 PM
what are you whering?
I’ve got to be here somewhere
August 22, 2026 at 5:36 PM
I’ve got to be here somewhere
this is also why my ass is the way it is. so sad.
When Wario is flattened in Wario Land 3, a robot must remove the weight squashing him so that he can actually move. With a small setup, Wario can destroy the robot and still get squashed. With no one lifting the weight from him, Wario will remain flat and alone forever.
August 21, 2026 at 6:43 PM
this is also why my ass is the way it is. so sad.
Reposted by copenhagen_cool_ranch
When Wario is flattened in Wario Land 3, a robot must remove the weight squashing him so that he can actually move. With a small setup, Wario can destroy the robot and still get squashed. With no one lifting the weight from him, Wario will remain flat and alone forever.
August 21, 2026 at 5:55 PM
When Wario is flattened in Wario Land 3, a robot must remove the weight squashing him so that he can actually move. With a small setup, Wario can destroy the robot and still get squashed. With no one lifting the weight from him, Wario will remain flat and alone forever.
do wet people dream of wet sheep?
August 21, 2026 at 6:30 PM
do wet people dream of wet sheep?
Lee Barbie Oswald
August 19, 2026 at 5:29 AM
Lee Barbie Oswald
I listen to the ET score to get the exact feeling the triumph you get from turning white and dying only to actually live and clamber my way up a grated ramp to my spaceship.
August 5, 2026 at 6:29 PM
I listen to the ET score to get the exact feeling the triumph you get from turning white and dying only to actually live and clamber my way up a grated ramp to my spaceship.
hopping over the deli counter, removing my apron and handing it to a patron. my boss cries out “where the hell do you think YOU’RE goin’? we got a line out the door!”
I pause, I look down and with a smirk reply “I gotta see about a dump”.
the crowd cheers and pats my back as I skip out the door.
I pause, I look down and with a smirk reply “I gotta see about a dump”.
the crowd cheers and pats my back as I skip out the door.
July 30, 2026 at 5:04 PM
hopping over the deli counter, removing my apron and handing it to a patron. my boss cries out “where the hell do you think YOU’RE goin’? we got a line out the door!”
I pause, I look down and with a smirk reply “I gotta see about a dump”.
the crowd cheers and pats my back as I skip out the door.
I pause, I look down and with a smirk reply “I gotta see about a dump”.
the crowd cheers and pats my back as I skip out the door.
eventually words like “operate”, “pilot” or “control” will be entirely replaced by “ratatouille”. no longer a French dish, we will commonly say things like “thanks for flying Delta, I will be your ratatouille”, “ratatoulling while under the influence”, or“government uses 5G to ratatouille your mind”
July 27, 2026 at 7:17 PM
eventually words like “operate”, “pilot” or “control” will be entirely replaced by “ratatouille”. no longer a French dish, we will commonly say things like “thanks for flying Delta, I will be your ratatouille”, “ratatoulling while under the influence”, or“government uses 5G to ratatouille your mind”
widow’s peak, widows peek, widows speak 😔
July 21, 2026 at 1:43 PM
widow’s peak, widows peek, widows speak 😔
Reposted by copenhagen_cool_ranch
Worms think they're so long
July 20, 2026 at 7:26 PM
Worms think they're so long
they shoulda made that guy Corbin from Love Island play Agamemnon. open up the gates of Troy and he’s just in that helmet shushing with his finger
July 21, 2026 at 5:42 AM
they shoulda made that guy Corbin from Love Island play Agamemnon. open up the gates of Troy and he’s just in that helmet shushing with his finger
for just $19 you may have a beautiful $19 salad
July 6, 2026 at 11:43 PM
for just $19 you may have a beautiful $19 salad
don’t go Jason Waterfalls
July 6, 2026 at 4:17 AM
don’t go Jason Waterfalls
there was a ladybug on my luggage and I saw it before it went through the x ray at TSA and it went through the x ray and then I was gonna take a pic (slow line it was okay) and then it flew away but that ladybug got x rayed and not a lot of them could say that. wonder what TSA saw
July 2, 2026 at 9:06 PM
there was a ladybug on my luggage and I saw it before it went through the x ray at TSA and it went through the x ray and then I was gonna take a pic (slow line it was okay) and then it flew away but that ladybug got x rayed and not a lot of them could say that. wonder what TSA saw
David Duchovny in his old age looks like the good guy version of Bill Maher.
June 28, 2026 at 4:50 AM
David Duchovny in his old age looks like the good guy version of Bill Maher.
title for an inspirational movie: the last rizz of the white man
June 25, 2026 at 7:01 PM
title for an inspirational movie: the last rizz of the white man
picture this, a spider web full of flies built between two sticks. the sticks are wound together to form the shape of a chicken drumstick. silken, delicate, delicious.
June 25, 2026 at 6:20 PM
picture this, a spider web full of flies built between two sticks. the sticks are wound together to form the shape of a chicken drumstick. silken, delicate, delicious.
just got a fat raise so I’m heading to the Facebook marketplace 🫡
June 19, 2026 at 3:37 AM
just got a fat raise so I’m heading to the Facebook marketplace 🫡