I’m going to nit think too much about the day tonight. Sleepless night. Emotional morning. We sat with Cooper and his mom this morning. He just wanted to be outside. But he kept looking to both of us. 💔💔 I’m always have dogs with me. Coopers friends knew his mom was sad. They were so sweet. She got many pup hugs. I’m taking tomorrow’s pack over to hang out with him. Hopefully the rain holds off so we can all sit outside with him. It’s really not enough time with him.

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My little buddy Cooper is 15 1/2 years old. His health has been declining for a while. This coming Saturday his family is taking him to the vet for the last time. He has been my little friend for so long. He was one of my first dog walking clients. 12 years, or close to that. I can’t even remember now. He loves a good walk. He enjoys everything outside. And he is so cuddly🥰 he’s friendly with dogs and people. In his later years he even tolerated some cats. …

I went through the yard and stuffed various shelters with fresh straw. I opened in and startled a tiny baby skunk! Poor baby, I can testify that box later. I hope the family is warm enough tonight. The yard has been too quiet the past couple of nights. I think some kits moved away😞 I enjoy their crazy play and constant bickering. And I worry. So many animals are killed by cars and apathetic people. I wish CH would do more to stop the speeding and reckless driving. It’s a small city.

One of the worst years of holidays for me. They are all anxiety inducing but so years are worse. Last year the violent man and his violent minions were on a rampage. I know he was determined to get me out of my home before he put it up for rent. They had spent years prior harassing, bullying, and abusing me and the animals. They would be here at any and all hours to cause as much harm and stress as possible. They killed and injured multiple cats and wildlife. …

It’s warm enough to be out in the rain. Me and my poodle friend would be taking a rainy walk. But his other pup buddies don’t believe they are completely waterproof 🌧️ I’m thinking about starting a project in here this week. I need to create a safe space for some plants. My cat Murphy will eat any sprout he sees. I had some green beans start to look nice and strong. Murphy loved them. Along with the cat grass I grow for him😂 There’s a couple of hotbox greenhouses online that would be perfect in here.

I feel so sick today. Still lots of fun with pups. And so much beauty outside this time of year. No way I would stay inside all day and miss it all. hoping to get some good sleep tonight.

I’m trying to get some energy together to get up and clean this floor before I go to sleep. I almost had a day off a few days ago. I ended up working. It doesn’t look like any free days for a while. It’s not that big of a deal. I really have to schedule some things a little better though. Get at least one extra chore done a day. It’s not much. My attention span is pretty short though. I can get distracted from room to room. ADHD? Chronic stress?

My feed has been filled with horoscope posts lately 😂 I am drawn to watch reels about Aries traits. It makes me feel so seen. I wish I could have had someone around throughout my life who could hav…

I’m sitting outside with the dogs. It’s cold. I’m debating turning in a heater or letting it chill the house. After the humid week the cold feels so nice! Maybe I’ll just put a small heater on in the bedroom and let the cold air out the rest of the house. Labor Day reminds me of upcoming holidays. I’m going to write those feelings down sometime this week. More trauma work to do. It has been too damaging to my health to internalize the pain for these long decades. I’ll never let anyone take my voice again

These little orange boys were some of the first cats I took in to get neutered and vaccinated. This was years ago. Too cute❤️❤️

My yard needs more wildlife cameras so I can see what goes on with the animals. Poor little Blue has a hurt foot. He is staying close so I am keeping an eye on him. I always try to find help when we need it. There is never anyone to help. No back up. No neighbors nearby who like animals. Definitely no one nearby who loves and appreciates all the animals like I do. It sucks. Someday i hope to have better people around us. It’s exhausting being surrounded by animal abusers and worthless apathetic people.

This is it. This is the day. We are not heat tolerant at my place 🥀 I had time to look at some house ideas online and decided on some things I want to do for my home. Money is the only thing stopping me now!

This is the first night in months I haven’t had anyone’s pups sleeping over😂 it’s always weird when there’s no dog around. I don’t recommend it. I’m looking around at the cats. Looking for the ones who will play fetch! And thinking about first steps when I can restart TNR. Asap. I want the. All to have long, healthy lives of comfort and leisure ❤️❤️

One of the outdoor cats has a limp. It’s happened too often over the past few months. I have to assume one of the neighbors that have been harassing me and the animals is doing something. I can’t know for sure. But it’s been too often to be coincidence. Someday I hope to have good people move into the empty houses around. Me and these animals need better people nearby. I’ve been in this house over ten years. It was peaceful and safe until the violent man bought that house. It’s painful to watch animals suffer. They were always so safe here before.

Cinders is eating well and seems more energetic. Franklin is itchy. He is always so itchy. I’m trying apple cider vinegar now. I’ve read it works for dogs. I may have a day off this week! Not sure yet though. If I spend the time making a to do list, I’ll likely stay in bed😂 there is so much to do though. Mulling over next steps towards justice and vindication. I refuse to let it be my whole life. But I am definitely not letting it go. I am keeping a list of things to do for me and my home as a work for security and justice.

There is a bunch of wood sorrow and clover sprouting up along the side of my driveway by the violent house. The lemon balm is thriving and all sorts of things are growing vigorously over there. I couldn’t try harvesting any of it. The violent man has spread a shocking amount of poisons over there. Not just lawn chemicals, tons of poisons. it’s all meant to kill cats, wildlife, and anything living that isn’t Frankenstein grass. I think the plants packing themselves along there are trying to block and clean the soil here. They stand in defiance of the violence and destruction for me! My space is green and flowery and filled with life

Gaslighting, victim blaming, misogyny, I don’t care what the reason. I am going to let anyone know how much bad it is to say anything that blames me or doubts the violent abuse I have endured the past few years. I don’t care who it is saying it. I have gone through far too much trauma in my life and it will not be silenced or dismissed. At some point I will be completely vindicated, I will get justice, and I will see some of these people face consequences. I deserve to have the peace that comes from justice and truth.

It’s hard work writing my thoughts down. Even harder to speak them. A lifetime of being shut down by others. Now it’s a struggle to allow myself to say what I think and feel. I have tried many times in the past. But it’s usually been family that I’ve had available. They kept me quiet, ashamed, and isolated. So I didn’t know how to connect well with others. But they also didn’t want to know anything about me or what I think about anything. My mind is too busy. Lots of ideas, plans, thoughts, curiosity.

Another week and weekend of 20 hour days 🐕 🐈‍⬛ I’m not complaining at all! I love that my days are filled with animals and lots of time outside. I’m ready for an afternoon of serious napping. My sweet Cooper pup is getting older. Finding the right food that he will eat at each meal is a challenge now. He wouldn’t eat breakfast today. I turned around in the afternoon and he ate a huge bowl of friskies kibble🙄 he usually ignores the cat’s kibble. He has a buffet of foods out tonight. Hopefully he snacks a little. I love the animals❤️❤️

A couple that lives down the street from me walked by while i was unloading stuff from my car. They were a smiley and said ‘hi’ as if we were supposed to exchange pleasantries like we used to. The audacity to think that I should greet them kindly knowing that they are willing to completely ignore the violence I’ve been suffering at my home. It’s clear and obvious to the world that there is still ongoing harassment. The continual efforts of the nonresident violent man next door to eradicate all living things around the area is clear, open, and undeniable.

Teddy likes to do a lot of lounging on his walks. Enjoy his surroundings ❤️