Joseph Paul Haines
@josephpaulhaineswriter.com
Writer, Screenwriter, curmudgeon, painfully liberal.
Nothing like a Sunday morning walk in Copenhagen. New city for me and I love it.
September 6, 2026 at 11:22 AM
Nothing like a Sunday morning walk in Copenhagen. New city for me and I love it.
Wellllll, if I must.
July 29, 2026 at 12:56 AM
Wellllll, if I must.
In the Future, everything has a price. Even the things you thought were free.
Directive 020: Side Gig. New flash fiction exploring what happens when hierarchy becomes currency.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-02...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash #microfiction
Directive 020: Side Gig. New flash fiction exploring what happens when hierarchy becomes currency.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-02...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash #microfiction
Directive 020: Side Gig - Joseph Paul Haines
Twenty meters underground, down the three flights of concrete stairs toward the rear end of the sewage reclamation plant, third office on the right once you
josephpaulhaineswriter.com
July 11, 2026 at 1:14 PM
In the Future, everything has a price. Even the things you thought were free.
Directive 020: Side Gig. New flash fiction exploring what happens when hierarchy becomes currency.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-02...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash #microfiction
Directive 020: Side Gig. New flash fiction exploring what happens when hierarchy becomes currency.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-02...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash #microfiction
Directive 019: Audit
A concrete room. A tape recorder. Two people who know exactly what they are to each other.
Only one of them is ready for that conversation.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SpeculativeFiction #Dystopia #ScienceFiction #Flashfiction #TenWithaFlag #RödFlagga
A concrete room. A tape recorder. Two people who know exactly what they are to each other.
Only one of them is ready for that conversation.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SpeculativeFiction #Dystopia #ScienceFiction #Flashfiction #TenWithaFlag #RödFlagga
Directive 019: Audit - Joseph Paul Haines
Two people, a man and a woman. The room has four walls, concrete, a floor and ceiling, also concrete, a table with collapsable legs, for storage, and two
josephpaulhaineswriter.com
July 4, 2026 at 2:46 PM
Directive 019: Audit
A concrete room. A tape recorder. Two people who know exactly what they are to each other.
Only one of them is ready for that conversation.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SpeculativeFiction #Dystopia #ScienceFiction #Flashfiction #TenWithaFlag #RödFlagga
A concrete room. A tape recorder. Two people who know exactly what they are to each other.
Only one of them is ready for that conversation.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SpeculativeFiction #Dystopia #ScienceFiction #Flashfiction #TenWithaFlag #RödFlagga
Just finished the introduction to my revised and expanded short story collection, Ten With a Flag and Other Oppressions, which will include twenty-three stories compared to the seventeen that appeared in Ten With a Flag and Other Playthings. 1/7
July 3, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Just finished the introduction to my revised and expanded short story collection, Ten With a Flag and Other Oppressions, which will include twenty-three stories compared to the seventeen that appeared in Ten With a Flag and Other Playthings. 1/7
Reposted by Joseph Paul Haines
All I can say is that the baptism pool at the Trump Fair should have large amounts of chlorine.
July 3, 2026 at 12:59 AM
All I can say is that the baptism pool at the Trump Fair should have large amounts of chlorine.
First off, @kylec.bsky.social is a national treasure that we are lucky to have here in Colorado, so follow him. Second, this thread absolutely speaks to the panic of not listening to your voters and paying the price. We don’t want a “Republican Light,” party. We want a Democratic Party.
If I'm not mistaken, an unaffiliated candidate in CO-1 has until Jul 9 to gather 1,500 signatures to get on the CO-1 Nov ballot (can be done).
But there's a catch: the candidate has to have been registered as an unaffiliated voter on Jan 1, 2026. No Dems can switch over now.
But there's a catch: the candidate has to have been registered as an unaffiliated voter on Jan 1, 2026. No Dems can switch over now.
July 1, 2026 at 2:40 PM
First off, @kylec.bsky.social is a national treasure that we are lucky to have here in Colorado, so follow him. Second, this thread absolutely speaks to the panic of not listening to your voters and paying the price. We don’t want a “Republican Light,” party. We want a Democratic Party.
Directive 018: 那你是说还有希望？
3.4 million people. 700 kilometers of wall. One song. One kiss left, one kiss right.
Then the hands fell.
87,000 stood back up.
New flash fiction up now at
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash
3.4 million people. 700 kilometers of wall. One song. One kiss left, one kiss right.
Then the hands fell.
87,000 stood back up.
New flash fiction up now at
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash
Directive 018: 那你是说还有希望？ - Joseph Paul Haines
Before joining hands across the remaining Great Wall, three point four million Twos, Threes and Fours drank from vials. Some were true, some were false. All
josephpaulhaineswriter.com
June 27, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Directive 018: 那你是说还有希望？
3.4 million people. 700 kilometers of wall. One song. One kiss left, one kiss right.
Then the hands fell.
87,000 stood back up.
New flash fiction up now at
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash
3.4 million people. 700 kilometers of wall. One song. One kiss left, one kiss right.
Then the hands fell.
87,000 stood back up.
New flash fiction up now at
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#FlashFiction #SpeculativeFiction #ScienceFiction #WeeklyFlash
When you have an Irish Wolfhound, and she loves you like crazy, and always wants to be near you, and you have to work, but must sit soooo far away from the desk that you stretch your arms to reach your keyboard because you have no legroom under the desk.
Yeah. Like that. #irishwolfhound #writer
Yeah. Like that. #irishwolfhound #writer
June 26, 2026 at 1:45 PM
When you have an Irish Wolfhound, and she loves you like crazy, and always wants to be near you, and you have to work, but must sit soooo far away from the desk that you stretch your arms to reach your keyboard because you have no legroom under the desk.
Yeah. Like that. #irishwolfhound #writer
Yeah. Like that. #irishwolfhound #writer
State that I’m overreacting at your own peril. #rollingcoup #resist
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
We Are in the Middle of a “Rolling Coup”
Unless we begin to act, our democracy will likely be destroyed.
www.thenation.com
June 23, 2026 at 3:01 AM
State that I’m overreacting at your own peril. #rollingcoup #resist
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
Reposted by Joseph Paul Haines
I’ll never forgive anyone who voted for this destruction, corruption, disrespect, criminality and complete chaos. You’re no patriot, you’re an arsonist.
June 21, 2026 at 12:22 PM
I may have laughed unnecessarily hard at this. apple.news/AscQM8XZZSQ-...
14 Years Ago, an Icelandic TV Station Accidentally Aired 'The Sopranos' Subtitles Over an Episode of 'Teletubbies' — VICE
In 2012, Icelandic television viewers were in for a major surprise when a showing of Teletubbies featured an NSFW subtitle-dubbing from HBO’s The Sopranos. Eh-Oh!
apple.news
June 21, 2026 at 12:50 PM
I may have laughed unnecessarily hard at this. apple.news/AscQM8XZZSQ-...
Directive 017: Happy as a Clam
David has a system. Pay the altar boy. Pay the duelist. Get past the broken lock. Do what needs doing for his father, even when his father begs him not to.
The drugs work. That's the problem.
New Directive, live now. 🔗 josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
David has a system. Pay the altar boy. Pay the duelist. Get past the broken lock. Do what needs doing for his father, even when his father begs him not to.
The drugs work. That's the problem.
New Directive, live now. 🔗 josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
Directive 017: Happy As A Clam - Joseph Paul Haines
The hallway outside his father’s apartment was empty, except for the Duelist standing in front of his door, pistol drawn.“You’re late.”The altar boy had been
josephpaulhaineswriter.com
June 20, 2026 at 1:26 PM
Directive 017: Happy as a Clam
David has a system. Pay the altar boy. Pay the duelist. Get past the broken lock. Do what needs doing for his father, even when his father begs him not to.
The drugs work. That's the problem.
New Directive, live now. 🔗 josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
David has a system. Pay the altar boy. Pay the duelist. Get past the broken lock. Do what needs doing for his father, even when his father begs him not to.
The drugs work. That's the problem.
New Directive, live now. 🔗 josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
“History teaches that giving billions of dollars to theocratic lunatics who want to murder us is not a good idea. . .” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas).
::Looks around at United States. Points fingers::
Agreed, Ted. For once, I agree with you.
Practice. Preach. You know the rest.
::Looks around at United States. Points fingers::
Agreed, Ted. For once, I agree with you.
Practice. Preach. You know the rest.
June 18, 2026 at 4:16 PM
“History teaches that giving billions of dollars to theocratic lunatics who want to murder us is not a good idea. . .” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas).
::Looks around at United States. Points fingers::
Agreed, Ted. For once, I agree with you.
Practice. Preach. You know the rest.
::Looks around at United States. Points fingers::
Agreed, Ted. For once, I agree with you.
Practice. Preach. You know the rest.
Immortality promised. One question asked. One recording made. One man erased. Directive 016: Crux—where doubt becomes threat.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SciFi #FlashFiction #OptimisedFuture
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SciFi #FlashFiction #OptimisedFuture
Directive 016: The Weight Of Forever - Joseph Paul Haines
“What if they’re right?”“What if who’s right?”“The Naturalists,” Pierre replied. “Could we be making a huge mistake?”Mr. Blue fidgeted in his seat and crossed
josephpaulhaineswriter.com
June 13, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Immortality promised. One question asked. One recording made. One man erased. Directive 016: Crux—where doubt becomes threat.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SciFi #FlashFiction #OptimisedFuture
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/directive-01...
#SciFi #FlashFiction #OptimisedFuture
You ever read the shooting scripts for a television series based off your fiction and realize that it’s awesome and unless the director is complete shite—he’s not—your life is about to change is some very wonderful, terrifying and strange ways? No? Just me then?
Okay. Good talk.
Okay. Good talk.
June 12, 2026 at 6:05 PM
You ever read the shooting scripts for a television series based off your fiction and realize that it’s awesome and unless the director is complete shite—he’s not—your life is about to change is some very wonderful, terrifying and strange ways? No? Just me then?
Okay. Good talk.
Okay. Good talk.
Internet comment win for the week:
“Looks like the Canadian cast of, ‘Only Murders in the Building.’”
“Looks like the Canadian cast of, ‘Only Murders in the Building.’”
June 9, 2026 at 11:21 PM
Internet comment win for the week:
“Looks like the Canadian cast of, ‘Only Murders in the Building.’”
“Looks like the Canadian cast of, ‘Only Murders in the Building.’”
Hey, all you RUSH fans out there trashing Anika Nilles? Not only are you stupid, not only are you tasteless, not only are you WRONG, but you’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
So sayeth Jojo, one of the youngest members ever accepted into the National Association of Rudimental Drummers.
So sayeth Jojo, one of the youngest members ever accepted into the National Association of Rudimental Drummers.
June 8, 2026 at 1:32 PM
Hey, all you RUSH fans out there trashing Anika Nilles? Not only are you stupid, not only are you tasteless, not only are you WRONG, but you’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
So sayeth Jojo, one of the youngest members ever accepted into the National Association of Rudimental Drummers.
So sayeth Jojo, one of the youngest members ever accepted into the National Association of Rudimental Drummers.
It’s true. There are some books that you spend extra for the old hardcover instead of getting the new paperback. This is one such book, arriving today from a used bookstore in Seattle. Ghost Story was fundamental to my evolution as a writer and deserves a permanent place on my shelf.
June 7, 2026 at 1:40 PM
It’s true. There are some books that you spend extra for the old hardcover instead of getting the new paperback. This is one such book, arriving today from a used bookstore in Seattle. Ghost Story was fundamental to my evolution as a writer and deserves a permanent place on my shelf.
The level of crazy that republicans are willing to embrace still, yes STILL, surprises me. You think I’d be shockproof at this point. Exorcism by phone, you say? Press 1 of your head is spinning. Press 2 of you are currently levitating. . .
coloradosun.com/2026/05/31/l...
coloradosun.com/2026/05/31/l...
Littwin: Victor Marx’s interview with Kyle Clark likely to win him MAGA votes
Marx, the GOP debate-skipping candidate with the, uh, remarkable life, says he doesn’t need to defend himself. If only that were true.
coloradosun.com
June 7, 2026 at 12:22 PM
The level of crazy that republicans are willing to embrace still, yes STILL, surprises me. You think I’d be shockproof at this point. Exorcism by phone, you say? Press 1 of your head is spinning. Press 2 of you are currently levitating. . .
coloradosun.com/2026/05/31/l...
coloradosun.com/2026/05/31/l...
Dispatch 015: Where This Road Goes is live.
A road crew. A hospital room. A promise that will change everything.
"Some people are simply better than others."
She meant it as grief. She'll mean it as policy.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/dispatch-015... #writers #FlashFiction #Specfic #dystopia
A road crew. A hospital room. A promise that will change everything.
"Some people are simply better than others."
She meant it as grief. She'll mean it as policy.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/dispatch-015... #writers #FlashFiction #Specfic #dystopia
Dispatch 015: Where This Road Goes - Joseph Paul Haines
The truck jerked to a stop. Hope grabbed a shovel. Charity grabbed a pick. The double doors flew open and the two of them hopped out the
josephpaulhaineswriter.com
June 6, 2026 at 1:57 PM
Dispatch 015: Where This Road Goes is live.
A road crew. A hospital room. A promise that will change everything.
"Some people are simply better than others."
She meant it as grief. She'll mean it as policy.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/dispatch-015... #writers #FlashFiction #Specfic #dystopia
A road crew. A hospital room. A promise that will change everything.
"Some people are simply better than others."
She meant it as grief. She'll mean it as policy.
josephpaulhaineswriter.com/dispatch-015... #writers #FlashFiction #Specfic #dystopia
Yeah. This.
The fact that two low-budget horror films have beat out an actual Star Wars movie in the box office makes me so damn happy.
June 1, 2026 at 4:53 PM
Yeah. This.
Molly the Irish Wolfhound wishes you a happy Monday, and also wonders why you haven’t yet played ball with her. Again. For the seventy-second time.
Today.
#irishwolfhound #needydog
Today.
#irishwolfhound #needydog
June 1, 2026 at 1:37 PM
Molly the Irish Wolfhound wishes you a happy Monday, and also wonders why you haven’t yet played ball with her. Again. For the seventy-second time.
Today.
#irishwolfhound #needydog
Today.
#irishwolfhound #needydog
What a fabulous day at the second hand book store. The top two are going to the top of my TBR pile for June reading. Can’t believe I missed the Ellison book before now.
#juneteenth #literature #realhistory
#juneteenth #literature #realhistory
May 31, 2026 at 12:05 AM
What a fabulous day at the second hand book store. The top two are going to the top of my TBR pile for June reading. Can’t believe I missed the Ellison book before now.
#juneteenth #literature #realhistory
#juneteenth #literature #realhistory