Karla Kapow
@karlakapow.bsky.social
Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän
BREAKING: Bad Bunny to deliver “Alternative State of the Union” address Tuesday entirely in Spanish
February 21, 2026 at 3:38 PM
BREAKING: Bad Bunny to deliver “Alternative State of the Union” address Tuesday entirely in Spanish
Future headline, March 15, 2026: After Melania documentary fails to sweep the Oscars, Trump orders ICE to deport all Na’vi and tells Kristen Welker that US control of Unobtanium is vital for world peace
January 31, 2026 at 2:05 AM
Future headline, March 15, 2026: After Melania documentary fails to sweep the Oscars, Trump orders ICE to deport all Na’vi and tells Kristen Welker that US control of Unobtanium is vital for world peace
"Shabby chic" would be a terrible decorating scheme for an airplane
January 27, 2026 at 6:58 PM
"Shabby chic" would be a terrible decorating scheme for an airplane
Office-holding Democrats: Stop asking me for donations and DO SOMETHING
January 25, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Office-holding Democrats: Stop asking me for donations and DO SOMETHING
“If Ted Cruz leaves the state,
The ice storm will be great.”
- Near-Future Traditional Texas Winter Forecast Saying
The ice storm will be great.”
- Near-Future Traditional Texas Winter Forecast Saying
January 22, 2026 at 4:54 AM
“If Ted Cruz leaves the state,
The ice storm will be great.”
- Near-Future Traditional Texas Winter Forecast Saying
The ice storm will be great.”
- Near-Future Traditional Texas Winter Forecast Saying
Once you see the Tesla logo is an IUD, you’ll never be able to not see it again.
January 18, 2026 at 5:31 PM
Once you see the Tesla logo is an IUD, you’ll never be able to not see it again.
Self-cut some bangs last night and while the results are not great, happy to discover this morning that I had also cut off several inches of fucks in the process
January 15, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Self-cut some bangs last night and while the results are not great, happy to discover this morning that I had also cut off several inches of fucks in the process
BREAKING: State Department Changes Official Font Again After Learning of the Existence of Sharpie Font
December 13, 2025 at 1:49 AM
BREAKING: State Department Changes Official Font Again After Learning of the Existence of Sharpie Font
BREAKING: American Airlines has rescheduled the award ceremony for their inaugural peace prize so that the medal can be restamped in gold at the recipient’s request
December 9, 2025 at 2:38 PM
BREAKING: American Airlines has rescheduled the award ceremony for their inaugural peace prize so that the medal can be restamped in gold at the recipient’s request
Tongue Singing Choir -- with lyrics
YouTube video by Skip Everling
youtu.be
November 25, 2025 at 4:55 AM
A good Jeopardy category would be Pirate Jokes. Ken would say for instance, “George Arrrr Arrrr Martin,” and someone would buzz in and ask, “Who is a pirate’s favorite author?”
October 23, 2025 at 8:20 PM
A good Jeopardy category would be Pirate Jokes. Ken would say for instance, “George Arrrr Arrrr Martin,” and someone would buzz in and ask, “Who is a pirate’s favorite author?”
Can’t help but notice GOP leadership was not raptured
September 24, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Can’t help but notice GOP leadership was not raptured
Real talk: How close are we to just declaring people witches?
September 12, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Real talk: How close are we to just declaring people witches?
Everyone remember to fly your false flags at half-mast this week
September 11, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Everyone remember to fly your false flags at half-mast this week
Successful community depends on taking care of each other. At some point we figured out that as soft, juicy creatures with small teeth, odds of survival were greater working together than when we pushed each other in front of oncoming sabertooths, and we were right. I hope we will not forget this.
September 7, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Successful community depends on taking care of each other. At some point we figured out that as soft, juicy creatures with small teeth, odds of survival were greater working together than when we pushed each other in front of oncoming sabertooths, and we were right. I hope we will not forget this.
NFL team names are way long. From now on, let’s abbreviate them like so:
The Dalboys
The Phigles
The Tampaneers
The LArgers
The Clowns
etc.
The Dalboys
The Phigles
The Tampaneers
The LArgers
The Clowns
etc.
September 5, 2025 at 2:33 AM
NFL team names are way long. From now on, let’s abbreviate them like so:
The Dalboys
The Phigles
The Tampaneers
The LArgers
The Clowns
etc.
The Dalboys
The Phigles
The Tampaneers
The LArgers
The Clowns
etc.
Kudos to Count Von Count, teaching young children numbers 1-10 for years while himself having only 8 fingers.
September 4, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Kudos to Count Von Count, teaching young children numbers 1-10 for years while himself having only 8 fingers.
If the rumors are true, the future of MAGA belongs to whomever pulls off the best and fastest Weekend at Bernie’s act.
August 30, 2025 at 9:28 PM
If the rumors are true, the future of MAGA belongs to whomever pulls off the best and fastest Weekend at Bernie’s act.
I opened the fridge and a pineapple tumbled out at me, and I coined my new favorite word on the spot. “PINEAPPLELANCHE!” Now I’m sad at the thought I may never have another valid opportunity to use my new word. It’s been a real rollercoaster over here.
August 29, 2025 at 2:44 AM
I opened the fridge and a pineapple tumbled out at me, and I coined my new favorite word on the spot. “PINEAPPLELANCHE!” Now I’m sad at the thought I may never have another valid opportunity to use my new word. It’s been a real rollercoaster over here.
Fall semester 2025: 4 out of every 2 cars on campus is a Waymo. The kids are going to forget how to drive the way they’ve forgotten how to write in cursive or make change
August 26, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Fall semester 2025: 4 out of every 2 cars on campus is a Waymo. The kids are going to forget how to drive the way they’ve forgotten how to write in cursive or make change
America’s final weather report will be delivered by the last remaining U.S.-trained meteorologist from an undisclosed location paid for by George Clooney, trying desperately to convince anyone still listening that the eclipse is NOT in fact a monster trying to eat the moon.
August 19, 2025 at 10:35 PM
America’s final weather report will be delivered by the last remaining U.S.-trained meteorologist from an undisclosed location paid for by George Clooney, trying desperately to convince anyone still listening that the eclipse is NOT in fact a monster trying to eat the moon.
Wii Sports Tennis, but the racket is a bug zapper, it’s summer, and you’re outside in Texas at dusk. So also kinda like Space Invaders.
August 16, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Wii Sports Tennis, but the racket is a bug zapper, it’s summer, and you’re outside in Texas at dusk. So also kinda like Space Invaders.