Gallbladder? I hardly know her
(I had my gallbladder removed lol)
(I had my gallbladder removed lol)
June 15, 2026 at 6:50 AM
Gallbladder? I hardly know her
(I had my gallbladder removed lol)
(I had my gallbladder removed lol)
Gonna get a tramp stamp that says “stuff me” in the Build-A-Bear font
June 11, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Gonna get a tramp stamp that says “stuff me” in the Build-A-Bear font
Have we made tomato flavored mayonnaise called tomayo yet?
June 7, 2026 at 6:59 AM
Have we made tomato flavored mayonnaise called tomayo yet?
Call me The Doodlemeister, the way I be doodlin
June 2, 2026 at 5:27 PM
Call me The Doodlemeister, the way I be doodlin
Me: idk what to talk about at therapy
Universe: we invented mothers just for this
Universe: we invented mothers just for this
May 27, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Me: idk what to talk about at therapy
Universe: we invented mothers just for this
Universe: we invented mothers just for this
if someone makes a time piece for when the chickens throw a revolution it’s a Coup Coop Clock
May 23, 2026 at 3:02 AM
if someone makes a time piece for when the chickens throw a revolution it’s a Coup Coop Clock
Pet peeve: when a waiting room chair is pushed too far back and you can feel it sort of rubbing the wall
May 20, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Pet peeve: when a waiting room chair is pushed too far back and you can feel it sort of rubbing the wall
The Ring has awoken. It’s heard its master’s call
And by Ring I mean my dog and his master’s call is the packet of cheese being opened in another room
And by Ring I mean my dog and his master’s call is the packet of cheese being opened in another room
May 19, 2026 at 11:35 PM
The Ring has awoken. It’s heard its master’s call
And by Ring I mean my dog and his master’s call is the packet of cheese being opened in another room
And by Ring I mean my dog and his master’s call is the packet of cheese being opened in another room
Love me, feed me, pamper me, leave me, just seriously gtfo
May 12, 2026 at 3:19 PM
Love me, feed me, pamper me, leave me, just seriously gtfo
I lost another good chapstick today. Rip
April 29, 2026 at 5:16 PM
I lost another good chapstick today. Rip
I’m saving myself for young Kurt Russell from The Thing
April 23, 2026 at 5:53 AM
I’m saving myself for young Kurt Russell from The Thing
I wonder how many eyelash wishes I’ve made that were actually eyebrows
April 22, 2026 at 5:24 PM
I wonder how many eyelash wishes I’ve made that were actually eyebrows
I started my microplastics journey early by enjoying the mouthfeel of Barbie shoes
April 21, 2026 at 5:11 AM
I started my microplastics journey early by enjoying the mouthfeel of Barbie shoes
Sorry I didn’t hear you, I was thinking about Taco Bell
April 8, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Sorry I didn’t hear you, I was thinking about Taco Bell
All I want is a chance to prove $163 million wouldn’t turn me into a bad person
April 2, 2026 at 7:22 AM
All I want is a chance to prove $163 million wouldn’t turn me into a bad person
My therapist: back when you were a kid, what adult would you have felt safe with talking about your emotions?
Me: Mrs Potts from Beauty & the Beast
Me: Mrs Potts from Beauty & the Beast
March 31, 2026 at 10:33 PM
My therapist: back when you were a kid, what adult would you have felt safe with talking about your emotions?
Me: Mrs Potts from Beauty & the Beast
Me: Mrs Potts from Beauty & the Beast
I’m guessing my vagina has a southern accent because it’s down south
March 21, 2026 at 5:14 AM
I’m guessing my vagina has a southern accent because it’s down south
I hate it when I feel like eating but I don’t feel like cooking
March 11, 2026 at 7:25 PM
I hate it when I feel like eating but I don’t feel like cooking
Does being an adult mean a perpetual tiny amount of heartburn or am I unwell? And other questions I don’t want to ask, more at 11
March 7, 2026 at 7:46 AM
Does being an adult mean a perpetual tiny amount of heartburn or am I unwell? And other questions I don’t want to ask, more at 11
Why is it called Animal Crossing? Are they/you angry or are they/you walking by?
March 1, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Why is it called Animal Crossing? Are they/you angry or are they/you walking by?
Why do we call them hot dogs when we could call them warm wieners
February 26, 2026 at 2:30 AM
Why do we call them hot dogs when we could call them warm wieners
I don’t have any slutty clothes so I just have to be slutty on the inside
February 15, 2026 at 5:20 AM
I don’t have any slutty clothes so I just have to be slutty on the inside
I think butts are cool because we just naturally have a seat where ever we go
February 14, 2026 at 7:15 AM
I think butts are cool because we just naturally have a seat where ever we go
If you’re consoling someone for using the wrong pronouns, you can give them
their there there they’re they’re
their there there they’re they’re
February 4, 2026 at 8:11 AM
If you’re consoling someone for using the wrong pronouns, you can give them
their there there they’re they’re
their there there they’re they’re
I wonder if Annie was ok that she had been hit by a smooth criminal
January 30, 2026 at 8:45 AM
I wonder if Annie was ok that she had been hit by a smooth criminal