Mmm gained a bunch of weight back, fuck! Why does ice cream and snacks have to be so delicious!

198 aaaaaah I'm doing it and I'm starting to like my silhouette!!

Came out to the folks and it went horrible

199lbs!!!!!! Aaaaaah feeling so good about that!

Feeling out of it today, my breasts are starting to grow and I'm both excited and super nervous. What if I'm wrong about being trans?? I've been thinking about this since I was a kid but what if I've been wrong the whole time. Eh idk I'm just gonna do my best to be healthy and keep going.
#trans

Well I'm feeling better than I did yesterday, I ended up going for a run and then working out. It really helped with my mood.

I wish I could just explode

Really hating myself today

I swear to god if I can't get my weight in line I'm gonna go crazy. I got all the way down to 201 and then I went on vacation and now I'm back to 208!

Now that I'm on E my weight hasn't moved past 205

Aaaaaaaaah I made it down to 209 and I just started taking estrogen!!!!

I'm going back to counting callories and I'm about to start microdosing estrogen. I'm so excited and terrified at the same time.

I think I'm gonna start taking my transition more seriously, every meal and every exercise I'm going to use it to focus on presenting the way I want to. One day I will pass.

I hope

Aaaaah im down to 213.9

One day I'll get there!

I've gotten to the point where I have trouble ignoring my dysphoria, like most days it's like a quiet buzzing in the back of my mind. But that buzzing keeps getting louder and louder.

I need to get skinny now so I can start dressing the way I want to over spring and summer.

The scale was rude to me today, I think I picked up some water weight over the weekend. ugh

Well some good news today! Today officially marks 40lbs of weight loss!

God I wish I could transition, I spe d every day hating my body and I feel endlessly jealous of people online who can be skinny and pass.

That's my rant for the day as a closeted trans woman.