All the years I pushed through for my studies, living on the line with my mental health, everything I did will boil down to nothing. I'll never be able to work in this field because of myself. I'm too weak mentally and did not heal myself enough and here are the consequences of that.

I learnt that I have to find a job to move out asap and I'm terrified. I have to put on hold my dream to work in the video game industry and I don't know if I'll ever be able to resume it. I'm scared and desperate

Didn't even dared to go out of the room and eat this evening. Nobody checked on me, nobody cared that i wasn't eating or anything. I could be gone that nothing would change for them

I'm thinking about running away, but where? And how long will I be able to make it last? I don't know anything and feel like the easiest route is just to simply not being there

I don't know what i've done to deserve the looks she gives me. Im trying to work on my things while battling with myself to have things done. I try to offer my help and do things by myself to ease them, and yet I feel like I'm the biggest burden of their life.

I have nowhere to feel at home, everytime I dare to talk the room fils with tension. I really should'nt have agreed upon going here and just found a way to live on my own.

I feel like I used every drop left of creativity with my Bachelor's degree... I don't want to create anymore, just want to follow instructions brainlessly... I know it's bad and I hope it'll soon come back...

I probably won't post often, this place will probably be more like a personnal diary more than anything but who knows it might change