H. Austin Whitver
@majikmouse.bsky.social
Senior Instructor in English Lit at the University of Alabama. PhD in Early Modern Drama. Author of Tombs in Shakespearean Drama; Monumental Theater. Views are very much my own. I instablock any account that posts AI art. He / Him.
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H. Austin Whitver
@majikmouse.bsky.social
· Nov 20
a man sits in a red emirates chair during a soccer game
Alt: Pep having an animated conversation with absolutely no one during a soccer game
media.tenor.com
All you other charming folks: Bluesky is such a breath of fresh air. What a lovely community here!
Me, an autistic misanthrope with the charisma of a wet skunk who worked a decade to build up a small community of peculiar folks over on the other place:
Me, an autistic misanthrope with the charisma of a wet skunk who worked a decade to build up a small community of peculiar folks over on the other place:
Every video of this guy is so delightful. This one made me cry. I hate that "being a kind human" is such a high bar for public figures, but here we are.
Child: This is my first time meeting a mayor.
Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister?
Child: No
Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over*
Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister?
Child: No
Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over*
September 23, 2026 at 3:02 AM
Every video of this guy is so delightful. This one made me cry. I hate that "being a kind human" is such a high bar for public figures, but here we are.
Had a dream last night where I finally got an X. I had been dreaming of an X, and I was so proud and delighted that I had an X. I was going to put stickers all over the X, and it was going to be my most important possession ever. Then, I woke up, and I have no idea what the X was.
September 18, 2026 at 12:37 PM
Had a dream last night where I finally got an X. I had been dreaming of an X, and I was so proud and delighted that I had an X. I was going to put stickers all over the X, and it was going to be my most important possession ever. Then, I woke up, and I have no idea what the X was.
Not on my Bingo Card today: A spirited argument amongst me and the Piggly-Wiggly cashiers about the merits of The Cranberries.
September 17, 2026 at 9:15 PM
Not on my Bingo Card today: A spirited argument amongst me and the Piggly-Wiggly cashiers about the merits of The Cranberries.
I do not understand Panda Express. Every once in a while, I forget lunch and am so starving at school that (if I cannot find the Taco Truck) I go to Panda Express. Every time, I feel like shit afterward. BUT THEN, I crave it for like a week! What addictive substance do they put in there?
September 16, 2026 at 8:31 PM
I do not understand Panda Express. Every once in a while, I forget lunch and am so starving at school that (if I cannot find the Taco Truck) I go to Panda Express. Every time, I feel like shit afterward. BUT THEN, I crave it for like a week! What addictive substance do they put in there?
First soccer game of the season. Tuscaloosa summer weather with 90+ degrees, 200% humidity, and not a cold in the sky. WHY did I get my kid into this sport instead of something indoor like basketball or competitive tiddly-winks.
September 12, 2026 at 3:57 PM
First soccer game of the season. Tuscaloosa summer weather with 90+ degrees, 200% humidity, and not a cold in the sky. WHY did I get my kid into this sport instead of something indoor like basketball or competitive tiddly-winks.
Repost with the movie you're making all your friends watch at the Bluesky sleepover.
September 11, 2026 at 12:01 PM
Repost with the movie you're making all your friends watch at the Bluesky sleepover.
Got some grading to do tonight, so I was looking to see what games were on. Actual internal conversation:
"Rams v 49ers. In Australia. Jet-lagged contenders sounds interesting. Where is it...? Netflix? Huh. I wonder if Florida A&M has anything going for them this year..."
"Rams v 49ers. In Australia. Jet-lagged contenders sounds interesting. Where is it...? Netflix? Huh. I wonder if Florida A&M has anything going for them this year..."
September 10, 2026 at 9:32 PM
Got some grading to do tonight, so I was looking to see what games were on. Actual internal conversation:
"Rams v 49ers. In Australia. Jet-lagged contenders sounds interesting. Where is it...? Netflix? Huh. I wonder if Florida A&M has anything going for them this year..."
"Rams v 49ers. In Australia. Jet-lagged contenders sounds interesting. Where is it...? Netflix? Huh. I wonder if Florida A&M has anything going for them this year..."
Today a student said I have “girl dad energy” which I am going to take as a huge compliment.
September 9, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Today a student said I have “girl dad energy” which I am going to take as a huge compliment.
I am teaching Large Lecture classes this semester and have six GTAs. I had not realized how much I was going to be subjecting them to the fucking pedagogical firehose, explaining not only what my class policies are but WHY they are in place from 25 years of experience. Constant walls of text.
September 8, 2026 at 9:47 PM
I am teaching Large Lecture classes this semester and have six GTAs. I had not realized how much I was going to be subjecting them to the fucking pedagogical firehose, explaining not only what my class policies are but WHY they are in place from 25 years of experience. Constant walls of text.
"What is needed to challenge and finally break a system based on nothing but decorum, one built on tradition rather than laws, is an absurd little chaos goblin who thinks rules do not apply and who feels no shame. Enter George Santos and Lane Kiffin. In this essay I will..."
September 4, 2026 at 12:44 PM
"What is needed to challenge and finally break a system based on nothing but decorum, one built on tradition rather than laws, is an absurd little chaos goblin who thinks rules do not apply and who feels no shame. Enter George Santos and Lane Kiffin. In this essay I will..."
Just got a spam text saying "We are offering huge roof repair/replacement discounts in your area" and it is taking all of my energy to not respond, "Sorry, we do not have a huge roof."
September 1, 2026 at 3:56 PM
Just got a spam text saying "We are offering huge roof repair/replacement discounts in your area" and it is taking all of my energy to not respond, "Sorry, we do not have a huge roof."
Reposted by H. Austin Whitver
Please make Coyote vs Acme so big that "I have a limited number of signs" becomes accepted neurodivergent shorthand for spoons-related issues
August 29, 2026 at 12:32 AM
Please make Coyote vs Acme so big that "I have a limited number of signs" becomes accepted neurodivergent shorthand for spoons-related issues
If I (somehow) got social media famous, the one person I would absolutely need to have on staff would be someone inside my hubristic bubble willing and able to tell me "maybe that is a bad take and you should remove it."
August 27, 2026 at 4:54 PM
If I (somehow) got social media famous, the one person I would absolutely need to have on staff would be someone inside my hubristic bubble willing and able to tell me "maybe that is a bad take and you should remove it."
Perfect. No notes.
August 26, 2026 at 9:31 PM
Perfect. No notes.
Reposted by H. Austin Whitver
Reposted by H. Austin Whitver
I guess we can boycott all Kit Harington movies and projects now like.... um.... well.... give me a minute.
August 24, 2026 at 7:07 PM
I guess we can boycott all Kit Harington movies and projects now like.... um.... well.... give me a minute.
This is killing me. No idea on the source.
August 21, 2026 at 9:39 PM
This is killing me. No idea on the source.
I am having to build PowerPoints again as part of teaching a Large Lecture, so I am going back through my Covid era slides. I really love how it is clear that my brain got progressively more cooked over the course of the semester. Still, even from the start I was having fun.
August 21, 2026 at 7:30 PM
I am having to build PowerPoints again as part of teaching a Large Lecture, so I am going back through my Covid era slides. I really love how it is clear that my brain got progressively more cooked over the course of the semester. Still, even from the start I was having fun.
I did not know what caused the Breakfast Burrito discourse today; now that I have seen the picture, I wish I had remained in blissful ignorance.
August 21, 2026 at 4:52 PM
I did not know what caused the Breakfast Burrito discourse today; now that I have seen the picture, I wish I had remained in blissful ignorance.
Got to meet my GTAs for the Large Lecture course this semester. Teaching a Lit LL is unnerving (feels like it will be the unfun parts of teaching without the fun bits), but at least it looks like I am going to be able to do it with a really strong crew.
August 18, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Got to meet my GTAs for the Large Lecture course this semester. Teaching a Lit LL is unnerving (feels like it will be the unfun parts of teaching without the fun bits), but at least it looks like I am going to be able to do it with a really strong crew.
Got some interstitials to work on and obviously all the bracketed bits (you know [[This river needs a name]] or [[Fix this you dumbass!]]), but the rough draft of Book 2 is DONE. Now time to pivot back to really looking for an agent for the first one! Finding comps is HARD!
August 12, 2026 at 9:55 PM
Got some interstitials to work on and obviously all the bracketed bits (you know [[This river needs a name]] or [[Fix this you dumbass!]]), but the rough draft of Book 2 is DONE. Now time to pivot back to really looking for an agent for the first one! Finding comps is HARD!
This needs to be hammered over and over. Defeated, impotent, and cowardly. Hitler hiding in a bunker. Jefferson Davis fleeing in a dress. It is a language his cult speaks.
The food cart story's amusing, but there's a lot of text in "the president of the most powerful country in the world had to hide in a food cart to avoid the projected lethal power of a nation with 1/4 your population that you outspend 100 to 1 on the military and keep claiming you've defeated."
August 11, 2026 at 4:31 PM
This needs to be hammered over and over. Defeated, impotent, and cowardly. Hitler hiding in a bunker. Jefferson Davis fleeing in a dress. It is a language his cult speaks.
As I close in on the end of book two, I am really noticing a pattern (for me). Openings are not too hard as they have been baking for a while. Middles are a miserable, slow, slog. But then the endings are absolute pleasure as past me has spent years just setting up balls on tees for me to launch.
August 11, 2026 at 1:27 AM
As I close in on the end of book two, I am really noticing a pattern (for me). Openings are not too hard as they have been baking for a while. Middles are a miserable, slow, slog. But then the endings are absolute pleasure as past me has spent years just setting up balls on tees for me to launch.
Onto the final chapter right as the dial on book two clicks over to 100k. The finish line of this marathon is in sight.
August 10, 2026 at 6:08 PM
Onto the final chapter right as the dial on book two clicks over to 100k. The finish line of this marathon is in sight.