Mason Hell-Cat
@masonhellcat.bsky.social
Often spotted putting my bang down, flipping, and then consequently reversing.
http://masonhellcat.com
http://masonhellcat.com
At least three people on Threads told me today that I have ‘Won the Internet’ with this post. So that’s it for me. So long, suckers!
February 2, 2026 at 11:44 AM
At least three people on Threads told me today that I have ‘Won the Internet’ with this post. So that’s it for me. So long, suckers!
The day has finally come where I can no longer use blue bird logo Twitter. I’m being forced to update if I wish to continue.
I have remained one of a handful of users to not turn it into X for more than a year. Bit by bit they stripped functionality… but after the takedown last week. Gone.
I have remained one of a handful of users to not turn it into X for more than a year. Bit by bit they stripped functionality… but after the takedown last week. Gone.
March 15, 2025 at 12:14 PM
The day has finally come where I can no longer use blue bird logo Twitter. I’m being forced to update if I wish to continue.
I have remained one of a handful of users to not turn it into X for more than a year. Bit by bit they stripped functionality… but after the takedown last week. Gone.
I have remained one of a handful of users to not turn it into X for more than a year. Bit by bit they stripped functionality… but after the takedown last week. Gone.
Musk refers to Auschwitz as the Roman Funpark.
January 21, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Musk refers to Auschwitz as the Roman Funpark.
This morning Triple J announced the passing of David Lynch by referring to him simply as ‘the co-creator of Twin Peaks’ and wow…. just… wow. That’s the best they could come up with? Seriously?
January 17, 2025 at 3:20 AM
This morning Triple J announced the passing of David Lynch by referring to him simply as ‘the co-creator of Twin Peaks’ and wow…. just… wow. That’s the best they could come up with? Seriously?
What I’ve come to realise after 10+ years on Twitter and 6 months on Bluesky - they’re good platforms to follow and interact with your favourite artists. But if you actually want interaction for dumb stuff (that I mostly put out), Threads is where it’s at. More followers more interaction.
December 29, 2024 at 9:34 AM
What I’ve come to realise after 10+ years on Twitter and 6 months on Bluesky - they’re good platforms to follow and interact with your favourite artists. But if you actually want interaction for dumb stuff (that I mostly put out), Threads is where it’s at. More followers more interaction.
Continuing to pass off scenes from films as stories from my own life with hilarious results.
December 21, 2024 at 1:35 AM
Continuing to pass off scenes from films as stories from my own life with hilarious results.
Over on Threads I’m trolling people by posting scenes from films but presented as true personal stories.
December 17, 2024 at 1:32 PM
Over on Threads I’m trolling people by posting scenes from films but presented as true personal stories.
Less than 3 weeks till my show hits the stage and night one is already SOLD OUT! Incredible. Tix here for night two: events.humanitix.com/the-simple-c...
The Simple Creatures | Humanitix
A night of original comedy sketches written by Mason Hell-Cat and directed by Margaret Ramsey.
events.humanitix.com
August 20, 2024 at 2:33 PM
Less than 3 weeks till my show hits the stage and night one is already SOLD OUT! Incredible. Tix here for night two: events.humanitix.com/the-simple-c...
Here’s the official poster of my upcoming show The Simple Creatures. So proud. Buy tix here: events.humanitix.com/the-simple-c...
August 12, 2024 at 11:44 AM
Here’s the official poster of my upcoming show The Simple Creatures. So proud. Buy tix here: events.humanitix.com/the-simple-c...
Welcome to Australia. Please note, your flight may be cancelled due to overbooking, staff shortages, or THE AIRLINE GOING BANKRUPT
July 31, 2024 at 2:12 AM
Welcome to Australia. Please note, your flight may be cancelled due to overbooking, staff shortages, or THE AIRLINE GOING BANKRUPT
Call me crazy, call me old fashioned… but my first instinct, after being shot at by a random shooter whose current whereabouts and status are unknown, would not be to shake my fist in the air like I’m at a well-orchestrated rock concert.
July 14, 2024 at 9:46 AM
Call me crazy, call me old fashioned… but my first instinct, after being shot at by a random shooter whose current whereabouts and status are unknown, would not be to shake my fist in the air like I’m at a well-orchestrated rock concert.
Dear office colleague. As a bitter, disgruntled bald man, stop complaining to me about your ‘hat hair’. I would give anything for ‘hat hair’.
Even ‘bed hair’ would be sweet. It’s like complaining to a man with no legs how sore your feet are. I don’t wanna hear it!
Even ‘bed hair’ would be sweet. It’s like complaining to a man with no legs how sore your feet are. I don’t wanna hear it!
June 17, 2024 at 2:44 AM
Dear office colleague. As a bitter, disgruntled bald man, stop complaining to me about your ‘hat hair’. I would give anything for ‘hat hair’.
Even ‘bed hair’ would be sweet. It’s like complaining to a man with no legs how sore your feet are. I don’t wanna hear it!
Even ‘bed hair’ would be sweet. It’s like complaining to a man with no legs how sore your feet are. I don’t wanna hear it!
Is there an extended version of Groundhog Day where Phil really spoils the homeless man for a day? Because getting him two bowls of soup before a trip to the hospital seems like it’s the best it gets and well… that ain’t right.
June 16, 2024 at 2:26 AM
Is there an extended version of Groundhog Day where Phil really spoils the homeless man for a day? Because getting him two bowls of soup before a trip to the hospital seems like it’s the best it gets and well… that ain’t right.
New Zealanders have already begun claiming #AuroraAustralis as their own saying they had it first and all we did was add passionfruit to it.
May 12, 2024 at 2:16 AM
New Zealanders have already begun claiming #AuroraAustralis as their own saying they had it first and all we did was add passionfruit to it.
Reposted by Mason Hell-Cat
Here’s a noisy bit of 1997 nonsense from the #MartinMolloy archives: www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuz...
Martin/Molloy - Martinade
Originally broadcast on Australian radio’s ‘Martin/Molloy’ in January 1997.Written by Tony Martin. Produced by Vicki Marr. Artwork by Matt Dower. MARTIN/MOLL...
www.youtube.com
March 26, 2024 at 8:18 AM
Here’s a noisy bit of 1997 nonsense from the #MartinMolloy archives: www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuz...
Reposted by Mason Hell-Cat
That’s a wrap for 2023 and my challenge to write/post comedy every single day. I made it. Thank you to anyone that ever clicked a link, hit like, subscribed or msg’d support. Here is my final sketch of the year. Goodnight. And please hire me to write comedy. 🙏🏼
SKETCH: Closing time
We’re on the set of a television talk show where two armchairs face a studio audience, slightly angled to each other. In one armchair is an elderly female host and facing her is writer Mason Hell-Ca...
masonhellcat.com
December 31, 2023 at 10:42 AM
That’s a wrap for 2023 and my challenge to write/post comedy every single day. I made it. Thank you to anyone that ever clicked a link, hit like, subscribed or msg’d support. Here is my final sketch of the year. Goodnight. And please hire me to write comedy. 🙏🏼
That’s a wrap for 2023 and my challenge to write/post comedy every single day. I made it. Thank you to anyone that ever clicked a link, hit like, subscribed or msg’d support. Here is my final sketch of the year. Goodnight. And please hire me to write comedy. 🙏🏼
SKETCH: Closing time
We’re on the set of a television talk show where two armchairs face a studio audience, slightly angled to each other. In one armchair is an elderly female host and facing her is writer Mason Hell-Ca...
masonhellcat.com
December 31, 2023 at 10:42 AM
That’s a wrap for 2023 and my challenge to write/post comedy every single day. I made it. Thank you to anyone that ever clicked a link, hit like, subscribed or msg’d support. Here is my final sketch of the year. Goodnight. And please hire me to write comedy. 🙏🏼
This year I’ve be been writing sketch comedy every single day. I’m up to Day 359. Here’s one I forgot about but someone mentioned the brilliant Gary Gulman and it made me think of it:
SKETCH: The Dentist
Husband and wife Chris and Tina (late 30s) sit in their car outside Smiley Smiles Dentists. CHRIS: I hate going to the dentist! Remind me again why I’m here? TINA: It’s a check-up… I can’t eve...
masonhellcat.com
December 26, 2023 at 7:44 AM
This year I’ve be been writing sketch comedy every single day. I’m up to Day 359. Here’s one I forgot about but someone mentioned the brilliant Gary Gulman and it made me think of it:
Was the Little Drummer Boy more of a pest than an adoring fan?
Come read my day 357 comedy sketch as I bring this sucker home for 2023. #SketchADay #WritingChallenge
Come read my day 357 comedy sketch as I bring this sucker home for 2023. #SketchADay #WritingChallenge
SKETCH: Silent night
We’re inside the nativity scene of Bethlehem on the very first Christmas. Baby Jesus lies asleep in his little manger, Mary and Joseph stand over him looking down lovingly. Several livestock stand a...
masonhellcat.com
December 23, 2023 at 1:03 PM
Was the Little Drummer Boy more of a pest than an adoring fan?
Come read my day 357 comedy sketch as I bring this sucker home for 2023. #SketchADay #WritingChallenge
Come read my day 357 comedy sketch as I bring this sucker home for 2023. #SketchADay #WritingChallenge
Baggage handlers have been getting a bad rap for too long. What they need is a PR boost. (2023 comedy sketch day 345).
SKETCH: Check your baggage at the door
We’re inside a large meeting room where hundreds of mostly men sit in fluoro shirts and jumpers. They’re all reasonably fit looking guys. A Union rep, dressed in a bright orange fluoro jumper is m...
masonhellcat.com
December 11, 2023 at 1:30 PM
Baggage handlers have been getting a bad rap for too long. What they need is a PR boost. (2023 comedy sketch day 345).
Just as I felt the year of comedy writing wearing me thin, meet Barry, purveyor of brutal bloodthirsty bonker bargains. It’s comedy sketch day 327.
SKETCH: Barry’s Brutal Bloodthirsty Bonker Bargains
A little old lady stands in front of a shop counter in what looks like a huge army surplus store. The shelves are lined with all kinds of weapons – axes, knives, spikey maces, swords. Behind the cou...
masonhellcat.com
November 24, 2023 at 11:11 AM
Just as I felt the year of comedy writing wearing me thin, meet Barry, purveyor of brutal bloodthirsty bonker bargains. It’s comedy sketch day 327.
I swear if Dan Andrews even attempts to request membership at my local ice skating rink, I am out! OUT!
November 21, 2023 at 12:42 AM
I swear if Dan Andrews even attempts to request membership at my local ice skating rink, I am out! OUT!
Yesterday (Day 321) I touched up one of my most favourite comedy sketches of 2023. Enjoy.
SKETCH: Sack-a-Thon (redux)
We’re inside a television studio where a live telethon is taking place. There are many rows of people sitting behind big desks with telephones in front of them. The phones are continually ringing as...
masonhellcat.com
November 17, 2023 at 10:40 PM
Yesterday (Day 321) I touched up one of my most favourite comedy sketches of 2023. Enjoy.
Woah woah woah woah! You mean to tell me Mushroom Lady also owned a SECOND property/lair worth $1m and has had more than six in less than 10 years? What the hell am I doing with my life?
Mushroom cook Erin Patterson lists Mount Waverley townhouse for sale
The three-bedroom residence has a price guide of $960,000 to $1.05 million. It is not the property where the mushroom lunch was served.
www.smh.com.au
November 13, 2023 at 8:35 AM
Woah woah woah woah! You mean to tell me Mushroom Lady also owned a SECOND property/lair worth $1m and has had more than six in less than 10 years? What the hell am I doing with my life?
Happy write-a-sketch-a-day Day 313.
In todays sketch it’s the pairing we’ve all been waiting for.
In todays sketch it’s the pairing we’ve all been waiting for.
SKETCH: Old People’s Home for Sacks of Potatoes
It’s an ABC TV television advertisement for an upcoming series. We start with some establishing shots of an old aged care facility and older people pushing wheely walkers, playing cards, eating dinn...
masonhellcat.com
November 9, 2023 at 12:23 PM
Happy write-a-sketch-a-day Day 313.
In todays sketch it’s the pairing we’ve all been waiting for.
In todays sketch it’s the pairing we’ve all been waiting for.