Eris
@oldbayheaux.bsky.social
Sometimes I'm funny, but I'm always a feral magical girl (even if I'm 34) with great eyebrows. 🔞
Okay so usually I go to movies with my husband and he'll end with a LOT to say and I'll basically say "I liked it."
Practical Magic 2 ended with me going off about how much I HATED it.
Practical Magic 2 ended with me going off about how much I HATED it.
September 14, 2026 at 6:27 AM
Okay so usually I go to movies with my husband and he'll end with a LOT to say and I'll basically say "I liked it."
Practical Magic 2 ended with me going off about how much I HATED it.
Practical Magic 2 ended with me going off about how much I HATED it.
Tits out for Harambe
September 14, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Tits out for Harambe
Sad mustache noises
September 14, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Sad mustache noises
"The Outsiders is about furries?"
September 13, 2026 at 10:32 PM
"The Outsiders is about furries?"
"Logan? Are you singeing yourself because I smell burnt hair"
September 13, 2026 at 10:32 PM
"Logan? Are you singeing yourself because I smell burnt hair"
"Bret Michaels is a tulpa"
-my brother
-my brother
September 6, 2026 at 2:33 AM
"Bret Michaels is a tulpa"
-my brother
-my brother
My son yawns like the Predator...
He is perfect and I love him
He is perfect and I love him
September 1, 2026 at 4:25 AM
My son yawns like the Predator...
He is perfect and I love him
He is perfect and I love him
"Elmo is a sometimes food"
August 26, 2026 at 1:11 AM
"Elmo is a sometimes food"
I like to live dangerously.
(Proceeds to immediately lose an exacto knife blade in a box full of pens and pencils)
(Proceeds to immediately lose an exacto knife blade in a box full of pens and pencils)
August 17, 2026 at 5:20 PM
I like to live dangerously.
(Proceeds to immediately lose an exacto knife blade in a box full of pens and pencils)
(Proceeds to immediately lose an exacto knife blade in a box full of pens and pencils)
"Bah Humbug" basically translates to "Ah Bullshit"
August 16, 2026 at 3:37 AM
"Bah Humbug" basically translates to "Ah Bullshit"
The casino is just a Renaissance Faire with technology and gambling
August 15, 2026 at 8:18 PM
The casino is just a Renaissance Faire with technology and gambling
People get ready in the parking lots at Faire.
Yeah and some of us tight lace our dumb asses into corsets, get in the car, and THEN drive to sheetz and then faire and spend 12 hours working at it before we get takeout and booze and crash for the night.
Yeah and some of us tight lace our dumb asses into corsets, get in the car, and THEN drive to sheetz and then faire and spend 12 hours working at it before we get takeout and booze and crash for the night.
August 15, 2026 at 4:24 AM
People get ready in the parking lots at Faire.
Yeah and some of us tight lace our dumb asses into corsets, get in the car, and THEN drive to sheetz and then faire and spend 12 hours working at it before we get takeout and booze and crash for the night.
Yeah and some of us tight lace our dumb asses into corsets, get in the car, and THEN drive to sheetz and then faire and spend 12 hours working at it before we get takeout and booze and crash for the night.
What Peter Parker REALLY needs...
is SKA
is SKA
August 9, 2026 at 8:39 PM
What Peter Parker REALLY needs...
is SKA
is SKA
Printers are the godless abominations of the office setting
August 7, 2026 at 6:38 PM
Printers are the godless abominations of the office setting
"Zefron would've ended up as one of Henry's wives somehow"
August 5, 2026 at 7:51 PM
"Zefron would've ended up as one of Henry's wives somehow"
There's shit in the (mosh) pit
August 1, 2026 at 11:53 PM
There's shit in the (mosh) pit
There's shit in the mosh pit
August 1, 2026 at 11:52 PM
There's shit in the mosh pit
Me: chocolate chip cookies. Not vegan.
Husband: made with beef.
Me: those are burgers.
Husband: made with beef.
Me: those are burgers.
July 28, 2026 at 5:21 PM
Me: chocolate chip cookies. Not vegan.
Husband: made with beef.
Me: those are burgers.
Husband: made with beef.
Me: those are burgers.
I WANNA BE REINCARNATED AS A THREE EYED FISH...
*lives near a decommissioned nuclear power plant*
*lives near a decommissioned nuclear power plant*
July 28, 2026 at 5:29 AM
I WANNA BE REINCARNATED AS A THREE EYED FISH...
*lives near a decommissioned nuclear power plant*
*lives near a decommissioned nuclear power plant*
I live just outside of a small city. There's a lot of humans out here.
We also have random deer that just pop out of bushes. And skunks. And possums. And coyotes.
Is quite nice. I like this little patch of sort of almost city.
We also have random deer that just pop out of bushes. And skunks. And possums. And coyotes.
Is quite nice. I like this little patch of sort of almost city.
July 28, 2026 at 5:28 AM
I live just outside of a small city. There's a lot of humans out here.
We also have random deer that just pop out of bushes. And skunks. And possums. And coyotes.
Is quite nice. I like this little patch of sort of almost city.
We also have random deer that just pop out of bushes. And skunks. And possums. And coyotes.
Is quite nice. I like this little patch of sort of almost city.
Shout out to the absolute delight of a man I spoke to on my work phone today who has been married for 37 years and told me it's about marrying your best friend.
I like that guy and I really hope I get to talk to him again. He was just really fun and the highlight of my entire shift.
I like that guy and I really hope I get to talk to him again. He was just really fun and the highlight of my entire shift.
July 28, 2026 at 5:11 AM
Shout out to the absolute delight of a man I spoke to on my work phone today who has been married for 37 years and told me it's about marrying your best friend.
I like that guy and I really hope I get to talk to him again. He was just really fun and the highlight of my entire shift.
I like that guy and I really hope I get to talk to him again. He was just really fun and the highlight of my entire shift.
Why I can't play charades:
Transformers sex bot. Fuck bot 3000 decepticon. Bumblebee is a sex robot fuck machine
Transformers sex bot. Fuck bot 3000 decepticon. Bumblebee is a sex robot fuck machine
July 28, 2026 at 3:35 AM
Why I can't play charades:
Transformers sex bot. Fuck bot 3000 decepticon. Bumblebee is a sex robot fuck machine
Transformers sex bot. Fuck bot 3000 decepticon. Bumblebee is a sex robot fuck machine
I don't need glittery sticky notes
July 28, 2026 at 1:19 AM
I don't need glittery sticky notes
"I just feel it would be disrespectful to see the gay shows with my roots showing."
Me justifying doing my hair last minute before we go to Broadway on Wednesday ❤️
Me justifying doing my hair last minute before we go to Broadway on Wednesday ❤️
July 28, 2026 at 1:11 AM
"I just feel it would be disrespectful to see the gay shows with my roots showing."
Me justifying doing my hair last minute before we go to Broadway on Wednesday ❤️
Me justifying doing my hair last minute before we go to Broadway on Wednesday ❤️
My knee cap be migrating like it's a goose 🙃
July 21, 2026 at 9:24 PM
My knee cap be migrating like it's a goose 🙃