Riley May
@omegariley.bsky.social
He/Him, LGBT+ AuDHD
Just a guy being a dude.
Gonna let the fame go to my head.
Just a guy being a dude.
Gonna let the fame go to my head.
Pinned
Riley May
@omegariley.bsky.social
· May 13
I have something horrible to admit.
I'm 5'6.
I'm 5'6.
Manuals.lib (my favourite website on earth) is down, and I am inconsolable right now.
August 22, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Manuals.lib (my favourite website on earth) is down, and I am inconsolable right now.
What a world we live in, where I can hear Filthy Frank come on over the radio in my grocery store.
July 4, 2026 at 11:29 PM
What a world we live in, where I can hear Filthy Frank come on over the radio in my grocery store.
I hate the "Oh fuck!" Cascade.
Like,
"Oh fuck! I forgot to fix an issue with my server. I'll set a reminder.
Oh fuck! I forgot to set a reminder to get my tabs from my ma's house yesterday.
Oh fuck! I forgot to grab the tupperware I borrowed from her to bring back while I get my tabs."
Like,
"Oh fuck! I forgot to fix an issue with my server. I'll set a reminder.
Oh fuck! I forgot to set a reminder to get my tabs from my ma's house yesterday.
Oh fuck! I forgot to grab the tupperware I borrowed from her to bring back while I get my tabs."
June 24, 2026 at 4:47 AM
I hate the "Oh fuck!" Cascade.
Like,
"Oh fuck! I forgot to fix an issue with my server. I'll set a reminder.
Oh fuck! I forgot to set a reminder to get my tabs from my ma's house yesterday.
Oh fuck! I forgot to grab the tupperware I borrowed from her to bring back while I get my tabs."
Like,
"Oh fuck! I forgot to fix an issue with my server. I'll set a reminder.
Oh fuck! I forgot to set a reminder to get my tabs from my ma's house yesterday.
Oh fuck! I forgot to grab the tupperware I borrowed from her to bring back while I get my tabs."
Do you guys think that if I tried really hard, I could give a dog waves?
June 24, 2026 at 1:12 AM
Do you guys think that if I tried really hard, I could give a dog waves?
You guys think I could convince Trent Reznor to thumb wrestle me for charity?
June 21, 2026 at 2:06 AM
You guys think I could convince Trent Reznor to thumb wrestle me for charity?
Pull out phone
Open Discord
Read messages
Close discord
Check texts
Close texts
Open discord
No new messages
What the fuck, man? Why hasn't any food appeared in my fridge?
Open Discord
Read messages
Close discord
Check texts
Close texts
Open discord
No new messages
What the fuck, man? Why hasn't any food appeared in my fridge?
June 16, 2026 at 3:53 AM
Pull out phone
Open Discord
Read messages
Close discord
Check texts
Close texts
Open discord
No new messages
What the fuck, man? Why hasn't any food appeared in my fridge?
Open Discord
Read messages
Close discord
Check texts
Close texts
Open discord
No new messages
What the fuck, man? Why hasn't any food appeared in my fridge?
There's something so enchanting about watching someone who is the best in the world at something weird, just execute and show how they earned the title.
Continue to be the amazing little gizmo you are.
Continue to be the amazing little gizmo you are.
June 4, 2026 at 12:31 PM
There's something so enchanting about watching someone who is the best in the world at something weird, just execute and show how they earned the title.
Continue to be the amazing little gizmo you are.
Continue to be the amazing little gizmo you are.
Nothing like putting deodorant on your nipples after a long day. ☺️
June 3, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Nothing like putting deodorant on your nipples after a long day. ☺️
You guys think Napoleon Dynamite would wanna be friends with me?
June 1, 2026 at 2:09 PM
You guys think Napoleon Dynamite would wanna be friends with me?
Hey there, gorgeous. Couldn't help but catch you staring at my sick Toy Story 4 band-aid.
Yeah. It's the genuine artical. It came in a value pack of 144 for $4.65 on clearance.
So anyways, this thing boasts water resistance, so you wanna get up to a little fingerblasting?
Yeah. It's the genuine artical. It came in a value pack of 144 for $4.65 on clearance.
So anyways, this thing boasts water resistance, so you wanna get up to a little fingerblasting?
May 22, 2026 at 6:31 AM
Hey there, gorgeous. Couldn't help but catch you staring at my sick Toy Story 4 band-aid.
Yeah. It's the genuine artical. It came in a value pack of 144 for $4.65 on clearance.
So anyways, this thing boasts water resistance, so you wanna get up to a little fingerblasting?
Yeah. It's the genuine artical. It came in a value pack of 144 for $4.65 on clearance.
So anyways, this thing boasts water resistance, so you wanna get up to a little fingerblasting?
I have some terrible fucking news.
I have been informed an imperial Ton is 2240 lbs. Not an even 2000.
This means I can no longer accurately state I'm "A quarter ton of fun"
Fucking bummer.
I have been informed an imperial Ton is 2240 lbs. Not an even 2000.
This means I can no longer accurately state I'm "A quarter ton of fun"
Fucking bummer.
May 20, 2026 at 9:48 AM
I have some terrible fucking news.
I have been informed an imperial Ton is 2240 lbs. Not an even 2000.
This means I can no longer accurately state I'm "A quarter ton of fun"
Fucking bummer.
I have been informed an imperial Ton is 2240 lbs. Not an even 2000.
This means I can no longer accurately state I'm "A quarter ton of fun"
Fucking bummer.
I will never get tired of the feeling of shaving my arm with a freshly sharpened knife.
I struggled for years to get a quality edge, and getting it hair popping sharp now feels SO fuckin' good.
I struggled for years to get a quality edge, and getting it hair popping sharp now feels SO fuckin' good.
May 19, 2026 at 12:26 PM
I will never get tired of the feeling of shaving my arm with a freshly sharpened knife.
I struggled for years to get a quality edge, and getting it hair popping sharp now feels SO fuckin' good.
I struggled for years to get a quality edge, and getting it hair popping sharp now feels SO fuckin' good.
It's been 8 months since I ended The Garfield Experiment, and I still jump every time I see that fucking cat.
I made such a mistake conditioning myself like this. It sucks so bad.
I made such a mistake conditioning myself like this. It sucks so bad.
May 17, 2026 at 4:38 AM
It's been 8 months since I ended The Garfield Experiment, and I still jump every time I see that fucking cat.
I made such a mistake conditioning myself like this. It sucks so bad.
I made such a mistake conditioning myself like this. It sucks so bad.
I would kill to meet the guy who had the confidence to drug you at a bar. Seeing you at the counter, and just thinking "Yeah I think I can shoulder carry him". - Mr. Tatoes
May 16, 2026 at 3:59 AM
I would kill to meet the guy who had the confidence to drug you at a bar. Seeing you at the counter, and just thinking "Yeah I think I can shoulder carry him". - Mr. Tatoes
Pro DIY tip of the day! If you every get superglue/CA glue on your fingers, you can just sand your fingers to restore the flesh with no chemical intervention.
Not recommended if you have soft hands.
Not recommended if you have soft hands.
May 13, 2026 at 10:45 AM
Pro DIY tip of the day! If you every get superglue/CA glue on your fingers, you can just sand your fingers to restore the flesh with no chemical intervention.
Not recommended if you have soft hands.
Not recommended if you have soft hands.
Not to brag, but I just clapped wicked loud.
May 11, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Not to brag, but I just clapped wicked loud.
It has not been a cropulous week.
May 10, 2026 at 11:42 PM
It has not been a cropulous week.
I'm learning that flirting is far more about compatability than it is about general ability.
Bro who the fuck was supposed to tell me this shit?
That asshole dropped the ball so hard.
Bro who the fuck was supposed to tell me this shit?
That asshole dropped the ball so hard.
May 10, 2026 at 9:16 PM
I'm learning that flirting is far more about compatability than it is about general ability.
Bro who the fuck was supposed to tell me this shit?
That asshole dropped the ball so hard.
Bro who the fuck was supposed to tell me this shit?
That asshole dropped the ball so hard.
You jerk off to the thought of your crush in the shower? That's weird and gross.
I just practice stealing a glance at my partner and giving a contended sigh. Ya know, in case I ever find a partner.
I just practice stealing a glance at my partner and giving a contended sigh. Ya know, in case I ever find a partner.
May 10, 2026 at 9:13 PM
You jerk off to the thought of your crush in the shower? That's weird and gross.
I just practice stealing a glance at my partner and giving a contended sigh. Ya know, in case I ever find a partner.
I just practice stealing a glance at my partner and giving a contended sigh. Ya know, in case I ever find a partner.
Stim album of the week.
music.youtube.com/watch?v=hRLQ...
I am such a slut for industrial and work songs.
music.youtube.com/watch?v=hRLQ...
I am such a slut for industrial and work songs.
Sleep is a Bottleneck
YouTube video by OrbitOST - Topic
music.youtube.com
May 5, 2026 at 4:43 AM
Stim album of the week.
music.youtube.com/watch?v=hRLQ...
I am such a slut for industrial and work songs.
music.youtube.com/watch?v=hRLQ...
I am such a slut for industrial and work songs.
Going to meet a childhood friend I haven't seen in about 6 years for lunch later this week, and I'm desperately fighting the urge to workshop insane lies for the bit.
"I'm actually a Born-Again Christian, and a Men's Rights activist"
"I'm actually a Born-Again Christian, and a Men's Rights activist"
May 4, 2026 at 12:41 PM
Going to meet a childhood friend I haven't seen in about 6 years for lunch later this week, and I'm desperately fighting the urge to workshop insane lies for the bit.
"I'm actually a Born-Again Christian, and a Men's Rights activist"
"I'm actually a Born-Again Christian, and a Men's Rights activist"
I have never hated working weekens until this exact moment.
May 3, 2026 at 1:22 PM
I have never hated working weekens until this exact moment.
Welp. Got a new entry in sketchiest shit I can't believe worked.
Spilled some solvent on my phone screen at work, and it left a small discoloured melted spot. So I just went at it with some 3000 grit sandpaper and my 2017 phone is now crystal clear once more.
"I used sandpaper on my phone" is scary
Spilled some solvent on my phone screen at work, and it left a small discoloured melted spot. So I just went at it with some 3000 grit sandpaper and my 2017 phone is now crystal clear once more.
"I used sandpaper on my phone" is scary
May 3, 2026 at 11:30 AM
Welp. Got a new entry in sketchiest shit I can't believe worked.
Spilled some solvent on my phone screen at work, and it left a small discoloured melted spot. So I just went at it with some 3000 grit sandpaper and my 2017 phone is now crystal clear once more.
"I used sandpaper on my phone" is scary
Spilled some solvent on my phone screen at work, and it left a small discoloured melted spot. So I just went at it with some 3000 grit sandpaper and my 2017 phone is now crystal clear once more.
"I used sandpaper on my phone" is scary
I still haven't recovered from my ex pointing out I had a thing for shoulders, and my subsequent realization "Oh god. I'm why school dresscodes exist".
That was 7 years ago.
That was 7 years ago.
May 3, 2026 at 1:52 AM
I still haven't recovered from my ex pointing out I had a thing for shoulders, and my subsequent realization "Oh god. I'm why school dresscodes exist".
That was 7 years ago.
That was 7 years ago.
I think I could probably make a lot of headway in my self improvement journey if I can find a way to internally rebrand cleaning my room as "Fixing The Mess (TM)"
May 2, 2026 at 10:59 AM
I think I could probably make a lot of headway in my self improvement journey if I can find a way to internally rebrand cleaning my room as "Fixing The Mess (TM)"