mountain’s malewife
@pharsis.bsky.social
thee everqueen
pfp -> wincalblanke
pfp -> wincalblanke
i may have been like half joking when i said i’d give up and kill myself if this goes to shit despite other options existing but i really do feel like giving up i’m tired. call me spoiled and cowardly but i hate the amount of effort and reaching out that every little thing requires
August 6, 2026 at 6:14 PM
i may have been like half joking when i said i’d give up and kill myself if this goes to shit despite other options existing but i really do feel like giving up i’m tired. call me spoiled and cowardly but i hate the amount of effort and reaching out that every little thing requires
late night thoughts nearly had me reaching out to someone out of desperation and lowkey i might have to suck it up but she said some crazy political stuff the last time i texted her so um. idk. 😭
August 5, 2026 at 11:43 AM
late night thoughts nearly had me reaching out to someone out of desperation and lowkey i might have to suck it up but she said some crazy political stuff the last time i texted her so um. idk. 😭
knowing that i’ll most likely end up with a B in both of these courses is lowkey making me embarrassed and sad but it is what it is with the burnout and all
July 30, 2026 at 3:14 AM
knowing that i’ll most likely end up with a B in both of these courses is lowkey making me embarrassed and sad but it is what it is with the burnout and all
the other day i got pretty depressed at night. i don’t remember the last time i felt that way outside of the depressive, burn-out lulls i felt during spring semester. i guess due to the hectic yet pretty successful semester i forgot about how i ultimately view life and living
July 24, 2026 at 10:18 AM
the other day i got pretty depressed at night. i don’t remember the last time i felt that way outside of the depressive, burn-out lulls i felt during spring semester. i guess due to the hectic yet pretty successful semester i forgot about how i ultimately view life and living
every time i talk to people irl i can’t help but feel bad about myself like damn i really am like this
July 18, 2026 at 11:51 PM
every time i talk to people irl i can’t help but feel bad about myself like damn i really am like this
i don’t know when exactly things shifted this much where i now feel strange looking at my past, extremely self-hating self but i also… still think i ultimately feel that way. i can’t wash the past and so, a failure will always be a failure even if i move on
July 5, 2026 at 12:43 PM
i don’t know when exactly things shifted this much where i now feel strange looking at my past, extremely self-hating self but i also… still think i ultimately feel that way. i can’t wash the past and so, a failure will always be a failure even if i move on
i need money -_- do i have to sell my body or something
July 4, 2026 at 3:21 AM
i need money -_- do i have to sell my body or something
not to be #that kind of student but a part of me does not feel like trying for these english and public speaking classes… i’m even willing to slide along with a C or B but also in the worst case scenario (idk if schools are strict about non-STEM GPA) i might want to try for A’s… but i don’t want to
June 20, 2026 at 3:48 AM
not to be #that kind of student but a part of me does not feel like trying for these english and public speaking classes… i’m even willing to slide along with a C or B but also in the worst case scenario (idk if schools are strict about non-STEM GPA) i might want to try for A’s… but i don’t want to
i’m acting cool about this application but tbh if i don’t make it in i might as well kill myself lol
June 19, 2026 at 3:01 AM
i’m acting cool about this application but tbh if i don’t make it in i might as well kill myself lol
every now and then i think about this person’s opinion that the zwillingsturme im herbst story had too much “tell” instead of “show” in the narrating compared to lone trail and it makes me want to reread both cause i admittedly am not enough of a literature nerd to notice that
June 16, 2026 at 12:22 AM
every now and then i think about this person’s opinion that the zwillingsturme im herbst story had too much “tell” instead of “show” in the narrating compared to lone trail and it makes me want to reread both cause i admittedly am not enough of a literature nerd to notice that
every other day i’m like okay i got this. i can do this public speaking class. and then the next day i’m just dreading. rinse and repeat until the day i have to present via video (and later when we do zoom sessions for the major speeches). just continuously facing my aversion to being perceived
June 15, 2026 at 10:45 PM
every other day i’m like okay i got this. i can do this public speaking class. and then the next day i’m just dreading. rinse and repeat until the day i have to present via video (and later when we do zoom sessions for the major speeches). just continuously facing my aversion to being perceived
at times like these when i’m REALLY inspired i’m like oh god i have to get to my ipad right NOW and then i remember the huge cliff i have to scale to get to the level of skill i want and then i’m like nvm
June 4, 2026 at 10:21 AM
at times like these when i’m REALLY inspired i’m like oh god i have to get to my ipad right NOW and then i remember the huge cliff i have to scale to get to the level of skill i want and then i’m like nvm
i really need to get my resumé looked at but i am deathly afraid of getting feedback on it. the past 6 years are still too embarrassing for me to talk about in length
May 29, 2026 at 7:13 AM
i really need to get my resumé looked at but i am deathly afraid of getting feedback on it. the past 6 years are still too embarrassing for me to talk about in length
i should at least very roughly sketch out poses so i don’t forget composition ideas
May 16, 2026 at 11:18 AM
i should at least very roughly sketch out poses so i don’t forget composition ideas
how it feels trying to tell family (through a language barrier no less) what my plans for school are
April 15, 2026 at 9:43 PM
how it feels trying to tell family (through a language barrier no less) what my plans for school are
working or even volunteering for/shadowing a medical professional would probably ease most of my anxieties and maybe eradicate this low-energy issue i have right now but well
February 16, 2026 at 11:24 AM
working or even volunteering for/shadowing a medical professional would probably ease most of my anxieties and maybe eradicate this low-energy issue i have right now but well
it’s seriously annoying how badly people (specifically, cis het people) cling to social and gender norms. sure they serve a purpose for a functional society to further itself but most if not all the time it devolves into nonconforming people needlessly suffering just for being different
October 21, 2025 at 7:55 AM
it’s seriously annoying how badly people (specifically, cis het people) cling to social and gender norms. sure they serve a purpose for a functional society to further itself but most if not all the time it devolves into nonconforming people needlessly suffering just for being different
i remember thinking that nihilism was perhaps too much but now i think it’s a perfectly valid way to think given how the world operates. not like i’m against change but the more knowledge i acquire the more i feel like humanity’s course is so unnecessarily cruel to the common person.
October 21, 2025 at 2:37 AM
i remember thinking that nihilism was perhaps too much but now i think it’s a perfectly valid way to think given how the world operates. not like i’m against change but the more knowledge i acquire the more i feel like humanity’s course is so unnecessarily cruel to the common person.
i miss the mutuals i interacted with fairly frequently on shitter but they’re either still on there more often or they’re more offline nowadays. oh well. nothing matters anyway
October 21, 2025 at 2:33 AM
i miss the mutuals i interacted with fairly frequently on shitter but they’re either still on there more often or they’re more offline nowadays. oh well. nothing matters anyway
it’s crazy how much of a hopeless failure i am
October 4, 2025 at 7:34 AM
it’s crazy how much of a hopeless failure i am
i never know what to say when people are like oh how come you don’t have a PCP or like get annual check-ups or something. it must be nice to not know what it feels like to not want to live, ever
September 16, 2025 at 10:24 PM
i never know what to say when people are like oh how come you don’t have a PCP or like get annual check-ups or something. it must be nice to not know what it feels like to not want to live, ever
getting more cynical and nihilist by the day 🥰
September 1, 2025 at 5:22 AM
getting more cynical and nihilist by the day 🥰
seeing other people’s discussion posts, maybe i really am too hard on myself, but compared to others i still stayed unemployed for too long and got basically nothing done in that time. there’s nothing that can help me heal from lost time
September 1, 2025 at 3:27 AM
seeing other people’s discussion posts, maybe i really am too hard on myself, but compared to others i still stayed unemployed for too long and got basically nothing done in that time. there’s nothing that can help me heal from lost time
it’d take a miracle to be hired at this point lol
August 31, 2025 at 8:58 AM
it’d take a miracle to be hired at this point lol