Pochyemu
@pochyemu.bsky.social
She’s here, she’s queer, and she won’t stop whining.
Reposted by Pochyemu
Thank you Google maps for protecting the cow's privacy
June 29, 2026 at 2:07 PM
Thank you Google maps for protecting the cow's privacy
Reposted by Pochyemu
The most uplifting of reads for anyone who’s ever suffered from crippling imposter syndrome. Relax, you will never in a million years write anything as shit as this
The wit and wisdom of Russell Brand
The wit and wisdom of Russell Brand
Quotes from his 'unreadable' new book
dlvr.it
May 30, 2026 at 11:34 AM
The most uplifting of reads for anyone who’s ever suffered from crippling imposter syndrome. Relax, you will never in a million years write anything as shit as this
Reposted by Pochyemu
british fan chat
![cartoon for the guardian by Stephen Collins - script as follows:
[Scene is a darkened LOFT. Amongst the boxes and junk are FOUR KNACKERED OLD FANS - three tower fans and one circular, with cracked grey plastic and buttons missing. One fan, TOWER FAN 1, is a bit taller than the others, and is addressing them]
1
TOWER FAN 1:
Right lads, get ready.
2
TOWER FAN 1:
This is our time.
3
TOWER FAN 1:
The time when we remember who we are, and why we’re here.
4
TOWER FAN 1:
We are the four crap fans in a British person’s loft,
and we are here to make absolutely no difference whatsoever.
5
TOWER FAN 1:
I know what you’re
thinking, lads:
6
TOWER FAN 1:
Surely this will be the year they finally replace us?
7
TOWER FAN 1:
Our plastic’s gone all brown... I haven’t oscillated since 2018...
8
TOWER FAN 1:
Dave here sounds like a spitfire and blows like a sad cat’s sigh…
TOWER FAN 2:
Cheers mate
9
TOWER FAN 1:
But no. These people are British, and every year, they forget the sun exists.
By the time they remember,
new fans will cost *four million pounds* on Amazon.
10
TOWER FAN 1:
So we’ll be back down there... shovelling thick air across the moaning faces of a species that cannot comprehend the concept of air conditioning, or even just closing the curtains when it’s hot out...
11
TOWER FAN 1:
...while they incessantly bang on about normally hot countries which this country is now temporarily a bit hotter than.
12
[The loft hatch opens and a person comes up the ladder]
PERSON:
APPARENTLY IT’S HOTTER THAN GREECE, LISA](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidbpfu2ioghspjcg4xitzv655jzjwp5lgxk5hi3ag7sechgh222ze)
May 14, 2025 at 12:20 PM
british fan chat
Reposted by Pochyemu
Inventing the air conditioner
Make it a 100 fucking pounds. No, no center mass to it at all somehow. Throw some fuckin…accordion arms on it that flap out and catch on everything when you’re carrying it up from the basement. And let me get 50 razor blades on the back of it too.
Make it a 100 fucking pounds. No, no center mass to it at all somehow. Throw some fuckin…accordion arms on it that flap out and catch on everything when you’re carrying it up from the basement. And let me get 50 razor blades on the back of it too.
May 18, 2026 at 1:55 PM
Inventing the air conditioner
Make it a 100 fucking pounds. No, no center mass to it at all somehow. Throw some fuckin…accordion arms on it that flap out and catch on everything when you’re carrying it up from the basement. And let me get 50 razor blades on the back of it too.
Make it a 100 fucking pounds. No, no center mass to it at all somehow. Throw some fuckin…accordion arms on it that flap out and catch on everything when you’re carrying it up from the basement. And let me get 50 razor blades on the back of it too.
Reposted by Pochyemu
Reposted by Pochyemu
Icelandic authorities just rerouted a planned hot water pipeline so as not to disturb an elf hill.
It's been a long while since we had news of a project change because of elf-dwellings and it's high time, I say.
Article heading: Hot-water pipeline rerouted to avoid offending elves.
Article heading: Hot-water pipeline rerouted to avoid offending elves.
Sveigja sett á hitaveitulögn til að styggja ekki álfa - RÚV.is
Krókur verður lagður á nýja hitaveitulögn á Eyrarbakkavegi til að skemma ekki hýbýli álfa sem búa í Strokkhól. Umsjónarmaður verksins segir þetta í fyrsta sinn sem hann hafi þurft að taka tillit til á...
www.ruv.is
May 9, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Icelandic authorities just rerouted a planned hot water pipeline so as not to disturb an elf hill.
I saw your mom at the
May 3, 2026 at 6:39 PM
I saw your mom at the
Reposted by Pochyemu
🥹🥹🥹 she’s always been a good egg
May 2, 2026 at 9:38 PM
🥹🥹🥹 she’s always been a good egg
Had Tove’s parent/teacher conference. Highlights:
She is “a mini Attenborough in the making” with her love of nature. ❤️
She stated to her teacher that she’s “not a fan” of math. 💯
When asked if Bilbo would be a good choice of hero in The Hobbit she said he would be “a hindrance” 😆
She is “a mini Attenborough in the making” with her love of nature. ❤️
She stated to her teacher that she’s “not a fan” of math. 💯
When asked if Bilbo would be a good choice of hero in The Hobbit she said he would be “a hindrance” 😆
April 22, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Had Tove’s parent/teacher conference. Highlights:
She is “a mini Attenborough in the making” with her love of nature. ❤️
She stated to her teacher that she’s “not a fan” of math. 💯
When asked if Bilbo would be a good choice of hero in The Hobbit she said he would be “a hindrance” 😆
She is “a mini Attenborough in the making” with her love of nature. ❤️
She stated to her teacher that she’s “not a fan” of math. 💯
When asked if Bilbo would be a good choice of hero in The Hobbit she said he would be “a hindrance” 😆
Reposted by Pochyemu
This is Pulitzer shit right here.
March 31, 2026 at 1:12 AM
This is Pulitzer shit right here.
Reposted by Pochyemu
This is my sixth year posting this
March 25, 2026 at 9:05 PM
This is my sixth year posting this
Reposted by Pochyemu
It's actually really fucked up watching so many people clamor to watch a new television series created by a woman who has proudly bragged she'll use the money she makes to try and kill my entire community.
March 26, 2026 at 5:41 AM
It's actually really fucked up watching so many people clamor to watch a new television series created by a woman who has proudly bragged she'll use the money she makes to try and kill my entire community.
Reposted by Pochyemu
I reckon this is that parable about when Jesus was visiting his first girlfriend's mum and dad's hoose, and when he flushed the toilet the water just kept on rising.
March 26, 2026 at 11:39 AM
I reckon this is that parable about when Jesus was visiting his first girlfriend's mum and dad's hoose, and when he flushed the toilet the water just kept on rising.
Reposted by Pochyemu
friend, this is Marcus Junius Brutus
CAESAR has declared himself DICTATOR FOR LIFE and MUST BE STOPPED
can you rush a donation of ten denarii today to show that you STAND WITH THE REPUBLIC?
CAESAR has declared himself DICTATOR FOR LIFE and MUST BE STOPPED
can you rush a donation of ten denarii today to show that you STAND WITH THE REPUBLIC?
March 15, 2026 at 7:35 PM
friend, this is Marcus Junius Brutus
CAESAR has declared himself DICTATOR FOR LIFE and MUST BE STOPPED
can you rush a donation of ten denarii today to show that you STAND WITH THE REPUBLIC?
CAESAR has declared himself DICTATOR FOR LIFE and MUST BE STOPPED
can you rush a donation of ten denarii today to show that you STAND WITH THE REPUBLIC?
Reposted by Pochyemu
Europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of Hormuz:
March 16, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of Hormuz:
Reposted by Pochyemu
"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."
March 16, 2026 at 3:15 PM
"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."
Reposted by Pochyemu
On so much high-quality gack she probably shits sticks of chalk
This is Jeanine Pirro answering one question today.
March 14, 2026 at 12:07 AM
On so much high-quality gack she probably shits sticks of chalk
Soooo howwww’s it goingggg
March 10, 2026 at 11:21 PM
Soooo howwww’s it goingggg
The BBC’s new Lord of the Flies is exxxxxxxcellent.
February 11, 2026 at 9:43 PM
The BBC’s new Lord of the Flies is exxxxxxxcellent.
Reposted by Pochyemu
Um... excuse me?
I'm. In. The. Bath.
I'm. In. The. Bath.
February 11, 2024 at 10:58 PM
Um... excuse me?
I'm. In. The. Bath.
I'm. In. The. Bath.
Reposted by Pochyemu
At the current rate, by the end of the year the UK will go through over 50 prime ministers, each one worse than the last, until the last one is literally just Gollum devouring raw fish in an abandoned coal mine under Wales. He will also be in the Epstein files.
February 9, 2026 at 10:14 AM
At the current rate, by the end of the year the UK will go through over 50 prime ministers, each one worse than the last, until the last one is literally just Gollum devouring raw fish in an abandoned coal mine under Wales. He will also be in the Epstein files.
Reposted by Pochyemu
Impeccable state-visit-related timing...
A Nigerian court has ordered the British government to pay $27m (£20m) to each of the families of 21 coal miners killed in 1949 by the colonial administration in the south-east of the country.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Nigerian court orders UK to pay £420m over 1949 killing of miners in Iva Valley, Enugu
The colonial police, made up of Nigerians and Europeans, shot dead workers striking for better conditions.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 10:08 AM
Impeccable state-visit-related timing...
Reposted by Pochyemu
this weekend i visited a beloved local cafe/record store and they had a bathroom labeled "Gay Bathroom". when we complimented the sign the barista said sometimes shitty people ask if there's a different bathroom they can use, so they have a second one in the other room labeled "Super Gay Bathroom"
February 1, 2026 at 11:52 PM
this weekend i visited a beloved local cafe/record store and they had a bathroom labeled "Gay Bathroom". when we complimented the sign the barista said sometimes shitty people ask if there's a different bathroom they can use, so they have a second one in the other room labeled "Super Gay Bathroom"
So what happened was, I deleted all my social media before entering the US in July, and then I forgot I even had a Blue sky account or had ever even heard of blue sky. And then my husband proudly posted a picture of a tin of pie and I wanted to see how much he was upsetting people so now I’m back
Thrilled to report the Special Relationship is alive and well.
February 2, 2026 at 7:28 PM
So what happened was, I deleted all my social media before entering the US in July, and then I forgot I even had a Blue sky account or had ever even heard of blue sky. And then my husband proudly posted a picture of a tin of pie and I wanted to see how much he was upsetting people so now I’m back