Roast Station
@roaststation.bsky.social
We roast the news, the famous, the internet, and yes — probably you.
https://roaststation.com/
https://roaststation.com/
🔥 They posted the passes to show how hot they looked.
Radice and Jongens Posted US Open Credentials at the National Tennis Center
They posted the passes to show how hot they looked.
roaststation.com
September 4, 2026 at 1:15 PM
🔥 They posted the passes to show how hot they looked.
🔥 The Ecotricity founder who called new North Sea drilling a betrayal sat down and said he was up for both fields if ministers price-control wholesale energy.
Dale Vince Backed Rosebank Drilling in the Newsnight Studio
The Ecotricity founder who called new North Sea drilling a betrayal sat down and said he was up for both fields if ministers price-control wholesale energy.
roaststation.com
August 18, 2026 at 3:00 PM
🔥 The Ecotricity founder who called new North Sea drilling a betrayal sat down and said he was up for both fields if ministers price-control wholesale energy.
🔥 AI economy audit finds job-loss data and job-growth data refusing to meet, leaving the measurements as artificial as the intelligence they track.
Absurdity Audit: Measuring AI's Economic Reshaping
AI economy audit finds job-loss data and job-growth data refusing to meet, leaving the measurements as artificial as the intelligence they track.
roaststation.com
August 15, 2026 at 11:06 PM
🔥 AI economy audit finds job-loss data and job-growth data refusing to meet, leaving the measurements as artificial as the intelligence they track.
🔥 Google's AI buildout drove a 37% electricity spike while promising to balance emissions later. The only thing getting balanced right now is the power grid's ability to stay conscious. Clean energy efforts sound noble until the data centers treat the local substation like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Google's AI Buildout Just Slurped 37% More Electricity
Google's AI buildout drove a 37% electricity spike while promising to balance emissions later. The only thing getting balanced right now is the power grid's ability to stay…
roaststation.com
August 15, 2026 at 5:04 PM
🔥 Google's AI buildout drove a 37% electricity spike while promising to balance emissions later. The only thing getting balanced right now is the power grid's ability to stay conscious. Clean energy efforts sound noble until the data centers treat the local substation like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
🔥 Donating $26M to hospitals and after-school programs right before the wedding isn't charity, it's reputation insurance with better optics.
Ego Meter Spikes as $26M Charity Flex Drops Pre-Wedding
Donating $26M to hospitals and after-school programs right before the wedding isn't charity, it's reputation insurance with better optics.
roaststation.com
August 15, 2026 at 12:09 PM
🔥 Donating $26M to hospitals and after-school programs right before the wedding isn't charity, it's reputation insurance with better optics.
🔥 Iran's long-delayed Khamenei ceremonies were supposed to show endurance; instead they measured exactly how long the system took to locate its own head.
Khamenei's Delayed Funeral: Iran's Endurance Theater Bombs
Iran's long-delayed Khamenei ceremonies were supposed to show endurance; instead they measured exactly how long the system took to locate its own head.
roaststation.com
August 14, 2026 at 11:07 PM
🔥 Iran's long-delayed Khamenei ceremonies were supposed to show endurance; instead they measured exactly how long the system took to locate its own head.
🔥 Private credit's locked-up promise just met real investor requests—and the exits won again.
Private Credit's Withdrawal Requests Just Hit the Fan
Absurdity Audit: Blue Owl logged fresh significant withdrawal requests from its private credit funds this quarter. Investors aren't buying the locked-up returns fairy tale…
roaststation.com
August 14, 2026 at 5:17 PM
🔥 Private credit's locked-up promise just met real investor requests—and the exits won again.
🔥 Emmy predictions just turned the ego meter into a clown show featuring Pluribus fan fiction and Netflix supremacy myths.
Emmy Ego Meter Hits Delusional Red as Pluribus Leads
Emmy predictions just turned the ego meter into a clown show featuring Pluribus fan fiction and Netflix supremacy myths.
roaststation.com
August 14, 2026 at 12:23 PM
🔥 Emmy predictions just turned the ego meter into a clown show featuring Pluribus fan fiction and Netflix supremacy myths.
🔥 Meta quietly launched Pocket so their vibe-coded AI games could bomb without witnesses. The only thing generated is secondhand cringe.
Meta's Pocket Audit: Vibe-Coded Games, Zero Receipts
Meta quietly launched Pocket so their vibe-coded AI games could bomb without witnesses. The only thing generated is secondhand cringe.
roaststation.com
August 13, 2026 at 11:18 PM
🔥 Meta quietly launched Pocket so their vibe-coded AI games could bomb without witnesses. The only thing generated is secondhand cringe.
🔥 Vietnam's record stadium can't explain why export riches leave most citizens broke and pissed — it's just expensive theater.
World's Largest Stadium Audits Vietnam's Economy — Result: Mostly Crap
Vietnam's record stadium can't explain why export riches leave most citizens broke and pissed — it's just expensive theater.
roaststation.com
August 13, 2026 at 5:18 PM
🔥 Vietnam's record stadium can't explain why export riches leave most citizens broke and pissed — it's just expensive theater.
🔥 NHS pays Brits to walk because thirty sedentary minutes a day is now the national baseline and Olympic medals are needed to sell it.
NHS Bribes You to Walk 30 Minutes Like It's Nobel-Worthy
NHS pays Brits to walk because thirty sedentary minutes a day is now the national baseline and Olympic medals are needed to sell it.
roaststation.com
August 13, 2026 at 12:24 PM
🔥 NHS pays Brits to walk because thirty sedentary minutes a day is now the national baseline and Olympic medals are needed to sell it.
🔥 Minister unveils pipeline, benchmark climbs like the thing already pumps crude instead of endless delays and lawsuits.
Benchmark Climbs on Fresh Pipeline Fantasy
Minister unveils pipeline, benchmark climbs like the thing already pumps crude instead of endless delays and lawsuits.
roaststation.com
August 12, 2026 at 11:17 PM
🔥 Minister unveils pipeline, benchmark climbs like the thing already pumps crude instead of endless delays and lawsuits.
🔥 Hottest markets + peak investor enthusiasm = guaranteed biggest destruction. The audit just confirmed the obvious again.
Hottest Markets Deliver Biggest Destruction Yet
Hottest markets + peak investor enthusiasm = guaranteed biggest destruction. The audit just confirmed the obvious again.
roaststation.com
August 12, 2026 at 5:18 PM
🔥 Hottest markets + peak investor enthusiasm = guaranteed biggest destruction. The audit just confirmed the obvious again.
🔥 Godox just audited common sense and decided the future of cameras is a transparent screen so everyone can watch you take a pointless photo.
Godox C100 Audit: Transparent Screen Solves Problem No One Had
Godox just audited common sense and decided the future of cameras is a transparent screen so everyone can watch you take a pointless photo.
roaststation.com
August 12, 2026 at 12:23 PM
🔥 Godox just audited common sense and decided the future of cameras is a transparent screen so everyone can watch you take a pointless photo.
🔥 Trump's ego meter treats every past presidency as evidence that he's the upgrade the office was always waiting for.
Trump Ego Meter Climbs With Every Presidency Comparison
Trump's ego meter treats every past presidency as evidence that he's the upgrade the office was always waiting for.
roaststation.com
August 11, 2026 at 11:17 PM
🔥 Trump's ego meter treats every past presidency as evidence that he's the upgrade the office was always waiting for.
🔥 SpaceX hits a millenary milestone while an Indian startup's rocket is still stuck in the concept art phase. Audit says the gap is now measured in centuries.
Absurdity Audit: SpaceX Millenary Milestone Buries Startup Rocket Hopes
SpaceX hits a millenary milestone while an Indian startup's rocket is still stuck in the concept art phase. Audit says the gap is now measured in centuries.
roaststation.com
August 11, 2026 at 5:18 PM
🔥 SpaceX hits a millenary milestone while an Indian startup's rocket is still stuck in the concept art phase. Audit says the gap is now measured in centuries.
🔥 Bloomberg paid an actor to play Thomas Jefferson so David Rubenstein could ask him about legacy without getting any uncomfortable answers.
Bloomberg Lets Rubenstein Grill Fake Jefferson on Legacy
David Rubenstein interviewed an actor pretending to be Thomas Jefferson about legacy. The segment delivered exactly the safe platitudes you'd expect when the founding father…
roaststation.com
August 11, 2026 at 12:22 PM
🔥 Bloomberg paid an actor to play Thomas Jefferson so David Rubenstein could ask him about legacy without getting any uncomfortable answers.
🔥 FIFA reconsidered the England-Mexico kick-off straight into 1am territory and let everyone else handle the hangover.
FIFA's 1am England-Mexico Kick-Off: Pubs Brace for Chaos
FIFA reconsidered the England-Mexico kick-off straight into 1am territory and let everyone else handle the hangover.
roaststation.com
August 10, 2026 at 11:14 PM
🔥 FIFA reconsidered the England-Mexico kick-off straight into 1am territory and let everyone else handle the hangover.
🔥 Alibaba reportedly banned Claude Code because calling a rival 'high-risk software' beats admitting your own tools are mid.
Alibaba Reportedly Calls Claude High-Risk to Guard Its Own Code
Alibaba reportedly banned Claude Code because calling a rival 'high-risk software' beats admitting your own tools are mid.
roaststation.com
August 10, 2026 at 5:17 PM
🔥 Alibaba reportedly banned Claude Code because calling a rival 'high-risk software' beats admitting your own tools are mid.
🔥 Erick the Architect went from Coachella glory to mourning a BlackBerry keyboard like it's the one that got away.
Flatbush Zombies Architect Clings to Dead BlackBerry Dreams
Erick the Architect went from Coachella glory to mourning a BlackBerry keyboard like it's the one that got away.
roaststation.com
August 10, 2026 at 12:23 PM
🔥 Erick the Architect went from Coachella glory to mourning a BlackBerry keyboard like it's the one that got away.
🔥 China detains a pastor during its religion crackdown then releases him after Trump mentions it—pure PR theater dressed as diplomacy.
China Spins Pastor Release as Trump Win After Religion Crackdown
China detains a pastor during its religion crackdown then releases him after Trump mentions it—pure PR theater dressed as diplomacy.
roaststation.com
August 9, 2026 at 11:10 PM
🔥 China detains a pastor during its religion crackdown then releases him after Trump mentions it—pure PR theater dressed as diplomacy.
🔥 Mbappé warns future opponents France will 'play ugly' — because nothing says elite preparation like promising to copy the other team's elbows.
Mbappé Spins 'Play Ugly' As Bold New Strategy
Mbappé warns future opponents France will 'play ugly' — because nothing says elite preparation like promising to copy the other team's elbows.
roaststation.com
August 9, 2026 at 5:08 PM
🔥 Mbappé warns future opponents France will 'play ugly' — because nothing says elite preparation like promising to copy the other team's elbows.
🔥 Audit confirms it: $3.8 billion vanished so sophisticated traders could exit and a million investors could learn the hard way that Trump memecoins charge tuition in the form of your entire position.
Memecoin Audit: 1M Investors Lost $3.8B on Trump Coin
Audit confirms it: $3.8 billion vanished so sophisticated traders could exit and a million investors could learn the hard way that Trump memecoins charge tuition in the form of…
roaststation.com
August 9, 2026 at 12:14 PM
🔥 Audit confirms it: $3.8 billion vanished so sophisticated traders could exit and a million investors could learn the hard way that Trump memecoins charge tuition in the form of your entire position.
🔥 Earth's interior was already a furnace but cosmic bombardment gets the credit for melting the first crust. Classic damage-control geology.
Earth's Missing 500 Million: Blame Cosmic Bombardment
Earth's interior was already a furnace but cosmic bombardment gets the credit for melting the first crust. Classic damage-control geology.
roaststation.com
August 8, 2026 at 11:10 PM
🔥 Earth's interior was already a furnace but cosmic bombardment gets the credit for melting the first crust. Classic damage-control geology.
🔥 England's World Cup all-nighter audit is in: pubs were allowed to stay open so fans could share the fatigue together. Verdict: exactly as pointless as every other all-nighter.
England's 2AM World Cup All-Nighter Gets Audited
England's World Cup all-nighter audit is in: pubs were allowed to stay open so fans could share the fatigue together. Verdict: exactly as pointless as every other all-nighter.
roaststation.com
August 8, 2026 at 5:07 PM
🔥 England's World Cup all-nighter audit is in: pubs were allowed to stay open so fans could share the fatigue together. Verdict: exactly as pointless as every other all-nighter.