Schmouseline
@schmouseline.bsky.social
Terrible takes on F1, NHL, and life experiences, "schmouse-line"
My uber be driving his tesla in a way that has me clenching my uterus like an 1800s lady on a train
July 19, 2026 at 3:44 PM
My uber be driving his tesla in a way that has me clenching my uterus like an 1800s lady on a train
The one and only thing Teslas got right when it comes to car design is the beautiful glass roof. I can gawk at the beauty of the planet while being driven to work in an uber that makes me clench my pelvic floor to keep from getting naseous with all its stupid hard accelerations and decelerations
July 19, 2026 at 3:37 PM
The one and only thing Teslas got right when it comes to car design is the beautiful glass roof. I can gawk at the beauty of the planet while being driven to work in an uber that makes me clench my pelvic floor to keep from getting naseous with all its stupid hard accelerations and decelerations
Reposted by Schmouseline
It's official, I'm too European for this American football shit. Wym your scores are in the tens every game. Wym you teach your children to brash their heads against each other and rely on upper mgmt (coaches) and the lil boss (qb) for creating strategy and play vs working as a team
July 12, 2026 at 12:49 AM
It's official, I'm too European for this American football shit. Wym your scores are in the tens every game. Wym you teach your children to brash their heads against each other and rely on upper mgmt (coaches) and the lil boss (qb) for creating strategy and play vs working as a team
I may or may not have received a text from someone in my life asking me if I have the emails for the PWHL LV, Hamilton, Boston, and Detroit GMs and I had to blink twice bc i am the least well connected pwhl person they know of
July 6, 2026 at 3:39 PM
I may or may not have received a text from someone in my life asking me if I have the emails for the PWHL LV, Hamilton, Boston, and Detroit GMs and I had to blink twice bc i am the least well connected pwhl person they know of
George Russell is going to struggle hard this weekend vs antonelli on exclusive grounds of British heritage (cold, damp, no sun) vs Italian heritage (historically experiences dripping sweat weather every summer)
rip bro
rip bro
June 26, 2026 at 3:04 PM
George Russell is going to struggle hard this weekend vs antonelli on exclusive grounds of British heritage (cold, damp, no sun) vs Italian heritage (historically experiences dripping sweat weather every summer)
rip bro
rip bro
The summary of austria fp1: it's hot outside and everything is unhinged
June 26, 2026 at 3:03 PM
The summary of austria fp1: it's hot outside and everything is unhinged
Alonso complaining about AM having no money for upgrades- bro, quelle surprise. Stroll Sr is in the files and probably had to pay off people to keep it quiet that he offered his 7yo daughter to Epstein. AM F1 is sponsored/paid for by Stroll Sr's investment portfolios (has to get investors to agree)
June 26, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Alonso complaining about AM having no money for upgrades- bro, quelle surprise. Stroll Sr is in the files and probably had to pay off people to keep it quiet that he offered his 7yo daughter to Epstein. AM F1 is sponsored/paid for by Stroll Sr's investment portfolios (has to get investors to agree)
I just had the most affirming five minutes of my life where I yelled about how men have gaslit us into believing that they're the more powerful sex and how actually, they're usually half as competent as whichever woman is beside them at any given moment
May 16, 2026 at 8:52 PM
I just had the most affirming five minutes of my life where I yelled about how men have gaslit us into believing that they're the more powerful sex and how actually, they're usually half as competent as whichever woman is beside them at any given moment
Does @playpalia.com not realize that i spent real money on the game to get a pet (pal)cat and now half their latest quests require me to hunt wild palcats
"Heyyyyy the missing bundle fish is now found by hunting more cats!" Ur breaking my heart fam 😭💔
"Heyyyyy the missing bundle fish is now found by hunting more cats!" Ur breaking my heart fam 😭💔
May 16, 2026 at 8:39 PM
Does @playpalia.com not realize that i spent real money on the game to get a pet (pal)cat and now half their latest quests require me to hunt wild palcats
"Heyyyyy the missing bundle fish is now found by hunting more cats!" Ur breaking my heart fam 😭💔
"Heyyyyy the missing bundle fish is now found by hunting more cats!" Ur breaking my heart fam 😭💔
Reposted by Schmouseline
I really think Ullmark needs to start scoring some goals here
April 21, 2026 at 12:54 AM
I really think Ullmark needs to start scoring some goals here
Why are men vaguely considered to be the smarter sex when we all weep when we see a male Instacart shopper
April 22, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Why are men vaguely considered to be the smarter sex when we all weep when we see a male Instacart shopper
Unrelated side note, I think my current intolerance for men comes from men being a bunch of insecure motherfuckers who hide their inner selves behind massive ego. And I have no spare energy in my life for the unknowns, so if I can't clock your inner self to be a positive existence in my life, shoo
April 15, 2026 at 5:46 AM
Unrelated side note, I think my current intolerance for men comes from men being a bunch of insecure motherfuckers who hide their inner selves behind massive ego. And I have no spare energy in my life for the unknowns, so if I can't clock your inner self to be a positive existence in my life, shoo
I have been introduced to this horrible concept of dnf'ing an actual, physical book made of paper and I cannot believe
That there are books out there
That are published and make profits of actual money
And contain shittier and weaker plots than my average saved ao3 longfic
That there are books out there
That are published and make profits of actual money
And contain shittier and weaker plots than my average saved ao3 longfic
April 15, 2026 at 5:36 AM
I have been introduced to this horrible concept of dnf'ing an actual, physical book made of paper and I cannot believe
That there are books out there
That are published and make profits of actual money
And contain shittier and weaker plots than my average saved ao3 longfic
That there are books out there
That are published and make profits of actual money
And contain shittier and weaker plots than my average saved ao3 longfic
I'd like to thank twitter for sending me too many suggested tweets in ten minutes, which finally prompted me to reset my password and delete my account
But I also need everyone to see my banger of a final tweet that is no longer available
But I also need everyone to see my banger of a final tweet that is no longer available
March 17, 2026 at 4:33 PM
I'd like to thank twitter for sending me too many suggested tweets in ten minutes, which finally prompted me to reset my password and delete my account
But I also need everyone to see my banger of a final tweet that is no longer available
But I also need everyone to see my banger of a final tweet that is no longer available
I don't normally endorse violent hockey but arber xhekaj i will repay you in permanent gratitude and undying local if you break r***o g***s knee
March 16, 2026 at 12:42 AM
I don't normally endorse violent hockey but arber xhekaj i will repay you in permanent gratitude and undying local if you break r***o g***s knee
Tf do you mean that 60% of dts is boring people saying boring things and shitty team principals saying shit
March 2, 2026 at 4:15 AM
Tf do you mean that 60% of dts is boring people saying boring things and shitty team principals saying shit
Do you think elder tkachuk found out about all the horny queer freaks on the internet thirsting after him and realized that the easiest way to get rid of them was also the easiest way to make powerful buddies
February 25, 2026 at 5:37 PM
Do you think elder tkachuk found out about all the horny queer freaks on the internet thirsting after him and realized that the easiest way to get rid of them was also the easiest way to make powerful buddies
The only thing I've got for us is that Hockey Canada deserved it for what they did to E.M.
February 22, 2026 at 4:10 PM
The only thing I've got for us is that Hockey Canada deserved it for what they did to E.M.
Sam. Sam motherfucking Bennet. May cockroaches appear in your house, evolve to become bedbugs, morph to lice, and migrate to your crotch
February 22, 2026 at 3:26 PM
Sam. Sam motherfucking Bennet. May cockroaches appear in your house, evolve to become bedbugs, morph to lice, and migrate to your crotch
My favourite blonde olympics commentator is being done so dirty by the studio lighting. But. Her flyaways are currently representing the feelings of the nation and if that isn't patriotic of her, I don't know what is
February 22, 2026 at 1:57 PM
My favourite blonde olympics commentator is being done so dirty by the studio lighting. But. Her flyaways are currently representing the feelings of the nation and if that isn't patriotic of her, I don't know what is
I keep forgetting that hockey canada was stupid enough to send mark stone to the olympics
February 22, 2026 at 1:48 PM
I keep forgetting that hockey canada was stupid enough to send mark stone to the olympics
Are all tech bros over the age of 17 fucking deaf or what
February 22, 2026 at 12:42 AM
Are all tech bros over the age of 17 fucking deaf or what
*takes deep breath* I will not argue with anonymous internet users who probably have never visited wikipedia articles for longer than the google advert paragraph
January 25, 2026 at 6:23 PM
*takes deep breath* I will not argue with anonymous internet users who probably have never visited wikipedia articles for longer than the google advert paragraph
I have hit the part of the show where the adhd meds kick in and I start solving problems again. Amazing.
January 21, 2026 at 3:43 PM
I have hit the part of the show where the adhd meds kick in and I start solving problems again. Amazing.