Pinned
somefatguy
@somefatguy.bsky.social
· Dec 17
live bigh the thigh
digh bigh the thigh
digh bigh the thigh
The average wisconsin intersection could easily hold 5000 european homes
September 24, 2026 at 12:20 AM
The average wisconsin intersection could easily hold 5000 european homes
Roided out but it's just hemorrhoids
September 15, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Roided out but it's just hemorrhoids
My dream job is the one I retire from the soonest
September 14, 2026 at 12:49 AM
My dream job is the one I retire from the soonest
Spy kids had to be Tarantino's best work
September 5, 2026 at 1:47 AM
Spy kids had to be Tarantino's best work
I'd be such a nice alcoholic I just know it
August 25, 2026 at 11:00 PM
I'd be such a nice alcoholic I just know it
If I time traveled back to the medieval ages, I'd be so good at combat, because I also brought a gun
August 19, 2026 at 2:45 AM
If I time traveled back to the medieval ages, I'd be so good at combat, because I also brought a gun
"my second grader can do long division" "my 8th grader is in AP classes"
Ya well guess what, my 5 year old shits his pants at a presedential level
Ya well guess what, my 5 year old shits his pants at a presedential level
August 17, 2026 at 11:38 PM
"my second grader can do long division" "my 8th grader is in AP classes"
Ya well guess what, my 5 year old shits his pants at a presedential level
Ya well guess what, my 5 year old shits his pants at a presedential level
I told her to only have a little bit. Did she listen? NO. She ate the whole thing buffet style. Now I can't sit down without it hurting
August 17, 2026 at 9:33 PM
I told her to only have a little bit. Did she listen? NO. She ate the whole thing buffet style. Now I can't sit down without it hurting
The lyrics for Around the World are intense
August 13, 2026 at 3:17 PM
The lyrics for Around the World are intense
She tatered on my tots till they were golden brown
August 9, 2026 at 11:34 PM
She tatered on my tots till they were golden brown
Gotta re-fem the boys you know
August 5, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Gotta re-fem the boys you know
Yelling at the nurse that I'm a sovereign citizen as I attempt to pull my catheter out
July 22, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Yelling at the nurse that I'm a sovereign citizen as I attempt to pull my catheter out
My wife said she wanted to bring another man into the bedroom. She just brought him in and left. What the fuck am I supposed to do with him?
July 16, 2026 at 1:08 AM
My wife said she wanted to bring another man into the bedroom. She just brought him in and left. What the fuck am I supposed to do with him?
Nothing beats coming home and putting on a dry pair of underpants
July 13, 2026 at 12:01 AM
Nothing beats coming home and putting on a dry pair of underpants
Randomly telling people "there's a weight limit" with zero context.
Especially great if they're doing something like getting on a train or a bus
Especially great if they're doing something like getting on a train or a bus
June 17, 2026 at 3:42 AM
Randomly telling people "there's a weight limit" with zero context.
Especially great if they're doing something like getting on a train or a bus
Especially great if they're doing something like getting on a train or a bus
Spoiler alert, it got WAY worse
My foot hurts
June 17, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Spoiler alert, it got WAY worse
Saying autumn instead of fall because it makes me feel smarter
June 17, 2026 at 3:32 AM
Saying autumn instead of fall because it makes me feel smarter
Apparently there's a "limit" on how many arcade tokens you can eat. Thanks liberals
June 11, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Apparently there's a "limit" on how many arcade tokens you can eat. Thanks liberals
Could you imagine if crackheads went indoors? Like I can handle you in a walgreens parking lot, but certainly not a walgreens bathroom
June 10, 2026 at 12:56 AM
Could you imagine if crackheads went indoors? Like I can handle you in a walgreens parking lot, but certainly not a walgreens bathroom
No I didn't take it personally, but I will be making some changes to your mii when I get home
May 29, 2026 at 5:24 AM
No I didn't take it personally, but I will be making some changes to your mii when I get home