Sue Baddeley
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soozleb.bsky.social
Sue Baddeley
@soozleb.bsky.social
9 followers 14 following 9 posts
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Reposted by Sue Baddeley
brianbilston.bsky.social
Happy 14th June to all those (except one) who celebrate.
Unhappy Birthday to Me    It’s important to share, or so I’ve been taught,  to show kindness to others, to be a good sport.  But all of those teachings have taken a bump –  for I share my birthday with Donald Trump.    For years I knew not of this dark, dreadful fate,  and with ignorant bliss I honoured the date –  but then it got hijacked, sullied, gazumped  by a self-serving bigot, a foul gibberlump.     With him, I would share an infectious disease,  a mouldy bread roll, an infestation of fleas,  a romantic weekend at a toxic waste dump – but please, not my birthday, Mr. Tangerine Chump.    Alternative dates he’s welcome to try –   12th Febtember, 33rd July. But 14th June? In a lake, take a jump and find a new date, you deranged sewage pump.  Brian Bilston
June 14, 2025 at 6:39 AM
soozleb.bsky.social
A lovely spot for lunch today at Sutton Bank. Summer in the sun and winter in the shade. Gorgeous.
March 19, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Reposted by Sue Baddeley
brianbilston.bsky.social
Today’s poem takes the form of my Christmas To Do list.
Christmas To Do List   • delay • defer • equivocate  • make some tea • procrastinate  • look at phone • stroke the cat  • readjust the thermostat  • dawdle • dither • hem and haw  • eat mince pie • chew my jaw  • write one card • spin on chair  • play six games of solitaire  • take a break • make a brew • review my list of things to do • eat mince pie • paper scrunch  • stroke the cat • have some lunch    • prioritise new tasks to shirk    (more cups of tea + less housework)  • look at phone • spin on chair  • eat mince pie • loiter • stare  • consider shopping • have quick doze • rest mince pie on bridge of nose • stroke the cat • take a break  • write a card • eat some cake  • spin phone • mince cat • stroke tea • wallow  • write To Do list for tomorrow  Brian Bilston
December 16, 2024 at 9:34 AM
soozleb.bsky.social
I might print this, frame it and hang it on my wall! I love it.
brianbilston.bsky.social Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · Dec 8
Today’s poem is considered to be the world’s oldest surviving love poem, written 1.5 million years ago by one of our earliest ancestors, homo unrequitus. It’s called ‘The Caveman’s Lament’.
The Caveman’s Lament   me think about her when sun rises me think about her when sun sets me say to her how much me love her she tell me love invent not yet   me make cave all warm and cosy me lie bearskin on cave floor me play song of love on bone flute she choose cave of Tim next door   me no more go out hunt mammoth me throw spear too short or long me sit in cave me paint her picture  she say me got perspective wrong   me cook meal to show me love her — diplodocus with fried beans — she say food anachronistic me not know what this means   stone age mighty hard for lovers yet rub two flints look what you get small sparks lead to big inferno but she say love invent not yet homo unrequitus
December 8, 2024 at 11:22 AM
Reposted by Sue Baddeley
brianbilston.bsky.social
Today’s poem is called ‘To Be Pacific’.
To Be Pacific Why do you always go off on a tandem, say goodbye without further adieu? It’s time you climbed down from your pedal stool – this is not a phrase you’re going through,   when antidotal evidence suggests you’ve been three-wheeling right from the start. Or rather, from the gecko, as you might say. You’re always upsetting the apple tart.   I can’t be asked to correct you these days: it takes two to tangle, I won’t deny it. But when push comes to shovel and all’s set and done, I just want a little piece of quiet,   to curl myself up in the feeble position so I can give my poor ears some rest bite from these sayings which do not pass mustard, the flaws in the ointment you cite.   You’re no escape goat or social leopard; I don’t regard you as a hapless case. But be aware there are reaper cushions when you cut off your nose despite your face.   Brian Bilston
December 6, 2024 at 9:21 AM
soozleb.bsky.social
😂 perfect
brianbilston.bsky.social Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · Nov 30
Today’s poem is dedicated to all those who have taken it upon themselves to correct the grammar or spelling in my poems over the last few weeks.

It’s called ‘Pedents’.
Pedents   Foot soldiers in the War on Error, They’re here to save us from ourselves, With Fowler’s Modern English Usage (first edition, nineteen twelve).   They scrutinise each word we write For typos, gaffes, et cetera, Correcting all our dumb mistakes To make our grammar betterer.   They sigh and tut and tell us off For the rules we have forsaken And chart this nation’s steep decline By the care we should of taken.   Custodians of the King’s English, They merely serve to keep it pure And restrict, they hope, the ignorant To three mistakes or less.   In doing so, they hold no fear they will deprive a thing of life: for it’s not important what is said, what matters is that its right. Brian Bilston
November 30, 2024 at 10:13 AM
Reposted by Sue Baddeley
herdyshepherd.bsky.social
November 28, 2024 at 5:24 PM
Reposted by Sue Baddeley
brianbilston.bsky.social
Today’s poem is called ‘Brie Encounter’.

Sorry about this one.
Brie Encounter   the skies are gruyere since she left me i’ve never felt so danish blue caught between a roquefort and a hard cheese, i stilton’t know what to do   don’t give edam about the future now my babybel’s walked out the door can’t believe i’ve double gloucester i camembert it any more   i’ve ricotta get myself together and build my life back caerphilly cheddar tear for the final time say goodbye to us and halloumi Brian Bilston
November 26, 2024 at 9:15 AM
Reposted by Sue Baddeley
brianbilston.bsky.social
Today’s poem takes the form of a series of “Uninspirational Quotes”.

#mondaymotivation
Uninspirational Quotes   “No matter how big the challenge ahead, it’s never too late to run away.”   “Every morning is another chance to have an even less productive day.”   “Don’t be overawed by your own inadequacies – embrace them with a passion.”   “If at first you don’t succeed, then it will probably never happen.”   “There is no task that is too immense – the word itself says “I’m mense”.   “Think of Life not as a competition, more as a sequence of non-events.”   “If the breakthrough doesn’t come today, don’t worry – we’ll all soon be dead.”   “It may be too late to begin again, but it’s never too early to go to bed.”   “It takes seventeen muscles to form a smile but only three to look at your phone.”   “Should you ever think your work is no good, just remember: you’re not alone.” Brian Bilston
November 25, 2024 at 9:06 AM
Reposted by Sue Baddeley
professorunwin.bsky.social
Update on meteoroloppers.

Rainlode hammerit like an elepher relievey on a slab, but horizontole.

Folly.

In the worms of Willibold Shakesmole, “Blow windy, crackly cheekloppers!”
November 23, 2024 at 8:36 AM