splootygooters
@splootygooters.bsky.social
ssssssssomebody compost me!!!!
Pinned
heh... perhaps if you spent less time "re-posting" and more time "riposte-ing" i would not have defeated you so soundly in single combat. think on this in your last moment before i strike you down
so how'd you do in the longsword tournament, bevan
September 19, 2026 at 2:19 PM
so how'd you do in the longsword tournament, bevan
on that "bending over backward to meet everyone and help them pass the class" first-time adjunct to "putting a cigarette out in your eye for asking me to drop your zeroes" burn-out adjunct pipeline and BABY i'm greasing the slide with dozens of sent and unanswered courtesy emails
September 17, 2026 at 2:21 AM
on that "bending over backward to meet everyone and help them pass the class" first-time adjunct to "putting a cigarette out in your eye for asking me to drop your zeroes" burn-out adjunct pipeline and BABY i'm greasing the slide with dozens of sent and unanswered courtesy emails
Reposted by splootygooters
I totally hear you (saying dumb stuff) and I absolutely get where you’re coming from (dumbsville)
September 15, 2026 at 2:29 PM
I totally hear you (saying dumb stuff) and I absolutely get where you’re coming from (dumbsville)
Gonna be streaming Half Sword, a horrific/clumsy medieval combat simulator, TONIGHT, with @shariauncle.bsky.social to fundraise for Big Lake Humane Society in support of the Muskegon Renaissance Fur.
Come watch Joe advise/console me as I get my ass skewered live 8pmCST at twitch.tv/splootygooters
Come watch Joe advise/console me as I get my ass skewered live 8pmCST at twitch.tv/splootygooters
splootygooters - Twitch
dumb of ass and weak of heart, join me as I fumble my way to victory for charity — splootygooters streams live on Twitch! Check out their videos, sign up to chat, and join their community.
twitch.tv
September 11, 2026 at 9:38 PM
Gonna be streaming Half Sword, a horrific/clumsy medieval combat simulator, TONIGHT, with @shariauncle.bsky.social to fundraise for Big Lake Humane Society in support of the Muskegon Renaissance Fur.
Come watch Joe advise/console me as I get my ass skewered live 8pmCST at twitch.tv/splootygooters
Come watch Joe advise/console me as I get my ass skewered live 8pmCST at twitch.tv/splootygooters
back on my bullshit (eating mystical mushrooms given to me by the Witch of the Woods Behind My House)
September 5, 2026 at 9:45 PM
back on my bullshit (eating mystical mushrooms given to me by the Witch of the Woods Behind My House)
(silhouette blinking red, signalling to my enemies that i am low on health) a fun productivity hack: everyone says whole ass one thing, don't half-ass two things... but if you quarter-ass FIVE things, you are actually using 125% of your total ass capacity 😎📈
August 26, 2026 at 6:36 PM
(silhouette blinking red, signalling to my enemies that i am low on health) a fun productivity hack: everyone says whole ass one thing, don't half-ass two things... but if you quarter-ass FIVE things, you are actually using 125% of your total ass capacity 😎📈
last time i'll talk about it. almost kicked one today (spite, malice). a true totem of the modern world: a worse alternative to human labor and empathy that sucks shit and breaks constantly that nobody asked for, that works just enough for ghouls to justify layoffs. an enshittification elemental
the coolest thing about the self driving wheelchairs at the chicago airport is that they are way more loud, slow, and oppositional to traffic flow than just hiring people to push passengers to their gate, and i think that rocks
August 11, 2026 at 11:27 PM
last time i'll talk about it. almost kicked one today (spite, malice). a true totem of the modern world: a worse alternative to human labor and empathy that sucks shit and breaks constantly that nobody asked for, that works just enough for ghouls to justify layoffs. an enshittification elemental
took my nephew out to cafe mustache to hunker down while waiting out travel delays at ORD. my reward is watching him vivisect a $15 sandwich and eat exclusively the chicken before asking for something else
August 11, 2026 at 4:52 PM
took my nephew out to cafe mustache to hunker down while waiting out travel delays at ORD. my reward is watching him vivisect a $15 sandwich and eat exclusively the chicken before asking for something else
25 responses to this post and all of them are earnest attempts to engage head on instead of "hey are you real, follow up question if yes, are you having a fucking stroke"
August 4, 2026 at 7:21 PM
25 responses to this post and all of them are earnest attempts to engage head on instead of "hey are you real, follow up question if yes, are you having a fucking stroke"
microcenter did not have what i was looking for so i wandered further into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights but i found a place called cafe mustache and am having a delightful time
August 4, 2026 at 5:58 PM
microcenter did not have what i was looking for so i wandered further into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights but i found a place called cafe mustache and am having a delightful time
stepped on a nail yesterday but i will not ket that stop me from making a pilgrimage to microcenter
August 4, 2026 at 4:27 PM
stepped on a nail yesterday but i will not ket that stop me from making a pilgrimage to microcenter
if i wanted to get a delightful sipper or a sandwich perhaps in chicago somewhere around o'hare where would i go and how lol
August 4, 2026 at 3:02 PM
if i wanted to get a delightful sipper or a sandwich perhaps in chicago somewhere around o'hare where would i go and how lol
20 days later.... the spirits lie quiet. perhaps they have no more wisdom to impart upon us
the coolest thing about the self driving wheelchairs at the chicago airport is that they are way more loud, slow, and oppositional to traffic flow than just hiring people to push passengers to their gate, and i think that rocks
August 4, 2026 at 3:00 PM
20 days later.... the spirits lie quiet. perhaps they have no more wisdom to impart upon us
July 14, 2026 at 8:07 PM
the coolest thing about the self driving wheelchairs at the chicago airport is that they are way more loud, slow, and oppositional to traffic flow than just hiring people to push passengers to their gate, and i think that rocks
July 14, 2026 at 7:57 PM
the coolest thing about the self driving wheelchairs at the chicago airport is that they are way more loud, slow, and oppositional to traffic flow than just hiring people to push passengers to their gate, and i think that rocks
*smash bros announcer voice* BOINGO HOTSPOT
July 14, 2026 at 7:48 PM
*smash bros announcer voice* BOINGO HOTSPOT
got a day to myself and now it's time to catch up on my personal ebook
May 24, 2026 at 6:09 PM
got a day to myself and now it's time to catch up on my personal ebook
decided to run quick hourlies on shit pulled from my paper scraps bin
February 8, 2026 at 7:14 PM
decided to run quick hourlies on shit pulled from my paper scraps bin
Reposted by splootygooters
For every retweet I will make Zuckerberg’s creep glasses 5% thicker
February 1, 2026 at 4:46 PM
For every retweet I will make Zuckerberg’s creep glasses 5% thicker
i always stay armed, just in case. you never know when a situation will demand action... better to be prepared than to be found lacking
May 30, 2025 at 2:51 AM
i always stay armed, just in case. you never know when a situation will demand action... better to be prepared than to be found lacking
Reposted by splootygooters
i will repost this in the morning so more people can see it, but my brother yousef is still in need of funds to keep his family fed and his dad medicated. i would appreciate any and all who can join me in donating to his campaign, i will match all donations #mutualaid #gaza #support
May 29, 2025 at 2:52 AM
i will repost this in the morning so more people can see it, but my brother yousef is still in need of funds to keep his family fed and his dad medicated. i would appreciate any and all who can join me in donating to his campaign, i will match all donations #mutualaid #gaza #support
i will repost this in the morning so more people can see it, but my brother yousef is still in need of funds to keep his family fed and his dad medicated. i would appreciate any and all who can join me in donating to his campaign, i will match all donations #mutualaid #gaza #support
May 29, 2025 at 2:52 AM
i will repost this in the morning so more people can see it, but my brother yousef is still in need of funds to keep his family fed and his dad medicated. i would appreciate any and all who can join me in donating to his campaign, i will match all donations #mutualaid #gaza #support
Reposted by splootygooters
alex graham ukelele apology countdown timer
May 21, 2025 at 2:35 PM
alex graham ukelele apology countdown timer
Reposted by splootygooters
If you're an oaf, this is a golden age. There's never been a better time to be someone who says "wow I never thought about it that way" in response to literally everything
They're talking about "water based" cooking now. Cooking things in water instead of oils. It's soup. They're making soup.
May 19, 2025 at 7:26 PM
If you're an oaf, this is a golden age. There's never been a better time to be someone who says "wow I never thought about it that way" in response to literally everything