Famous Jerry the Carpenter
@stantontomson.bsky.social
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
The plagiarism machine I created will likely kill us all, there’s a 40% chance, no, higher, like 75%,or more!
But NO I will not “unplug it,” that’s an insane suggestion. The scientific solution is to *give me more money.*
But NO I will not “unplug it,” that’s an insane suggestion. The scientific solution is to *give me more money.*
September 11, 2026 at 4:43 AM
The plagiarism machine I created will likely kill us all, there’s a 40% chance, no, higher, like 75%,or more!
But NO I will not “unplug it,” that’s an insane suggestion. The scientific solution is to *give me more money.*
But NO I will not “unplug it,” that’s an insane suggestion. The scientific solution is to *give me more money.*
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Cat Food For Men: the first ever cat food formulated with mega-doses of taurine and tryptophan for optimum masculine performance. When hunger calls, answer it with a feast that only the manliest deserve. Available in Chicken Dinner, Beef Tallow Pate, and Beef Chunks In Gravy.
September 9, 2026 at 6:05 PM
Cat Food For Men: the first ever cat food formulated with mega-doses of taurine and tryptophan for optimum masculine performance. When hunger calls, answer it with a feast that only the manliest deserve. Available in Chicken Dinner, Beef Tallow Pate, and Beef Chunks In Gravy.
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Those who share this will be taken to jail with no court date set in the immediate future.
July 17, 2026 at 2:01 PM
Those who share this will be taken to jail with no court date set in the immediate future.
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
The music of Seinfeld, divorced from the show itself, is nothing short of disgusting. Imagine if the show didn’t exist but the music somehow did. Hearing it, your face would twist in angry revulsion
May 18, 2025 at 3:10 AM
The music of Seinfeld, divorced from the show itself, is nothing short of disgusting. Imagine if the show didn’t exist but the music somehow did. Hearing it, your face would twist in angry revulsion
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
The WHCD gunman went to Caltech, so it's inevitable that the "staged shooting" conspiracy theory and the "missing scientists" conspiracy theory are going to link up.
April 26, 2026 at 4:55 AM
The WHCD gunman went to Caltech, so it's inevitable that the "staged shooting" conspiracy theory and the "missing scientists" conspiracy theory are going to link up.
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Stephen Miller almost says that Trump is seeking a "final solution" in Iran but then catches himself
April 16, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Stephen Miller almost says that Trump is seeking a "final solution" in Iran but then catches himself
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Trump: “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will … We will find out tonight, one of the most important moments in the long and complex history of the World. 47 years of extortion, corruption, and death, will finally end”
April 7, 2026 at 1:18 PM
Trump: “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will … We will find out tonight, one of the most important moments in the long and complex history of the World. 47 years of extortion, corruption, and death, will finally end”
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
It cannot be ruled out that this is a threat to use a nuclear weapon against Iran
April 5, 2026 at 5:08 PM
It cannot be ruled out that this is a threat to use a nuclear weapon against Iran
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Again, I don’t see how you can read this as anything other than Trump trying to normalize the idea of using nuclear weapons
April 5, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Again, I don’t see how you can read this as anything other than Trump trying to normalize the idea of using nuclear weapons
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Trump has not been seen publicly since his primetime speech on Wednesday. 72 hours and counting despite the fact he hasn’t left DC.
April 5, 2026 at 1:33 AM
Trump has not been seen publicly since his primetime speech on Wednesday. 72 hours and counting despite the fact he hasn’t left DC.
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Shocked this guy is shutting down airports to attack party balloons
February 11, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Shocked this guy is shutting down airports to attack party balloons
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Goddamnit Bovino stole Stuart Little’s car, he’s getting away!
January 27, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Goddamnit Bovino stole Stuart Little’s car, he’s getting away!
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Now the actual military has to dress like it’s not the military cuz federal law enforcement agencies dress too much like the military
January 17, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Now the actual military has to dress like it’s not the military cuz federal law enforcement agencies dress too much like the military
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
A resignation letter:
"We all saw it.
We all saw, with our own two eyes, people getting dragged like dogs and killed.
But we could not write one line about it on the newspaper.
In shame, we put down our pens.
May 20, 1980
All Journalists of Jeonnam Maeil Shinmun"
"We all saw it.
We all saw, with our own two eyes, people getting dragged like dogs and killed.
But we could not write one line about it on the newspaper.
In shame, we put down our pens.
May 20, 1980
All Journalists of Jeonnam Maeil Shinmun"
January 8, 2026 at 1:20 PM
A resignation letter:
"We all saw it.
We all saw, with our own two eyes, people getting dragged like dogs and killed.
But we could not write one line about it on the newspaper.
In shame, we put down our pens.
May 20, 1980
All Journalists of Jeonnam Maeil Shinmun"
"We all saw it.
We all saw, with our own two eyes, people getting dragged like dogs and killed.
But we could not write one line about it on the newspaper.
In shame, we put down our pens.
May 20, 1980
All Journalists of Jeonnam Maeil Shinmun"
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
I just left the Venezuela briefing.
It's worse than you thought.
Oil company executives seem to know more about Trump's secret plan to "run" Venezuela than the American people.
We need public Senate hearings NOW.
It's worse than you thought.
Oil company executives seem to know more about Trump's secret plan to "run" Venezuela than the American people.
We need public Senate hearings NOW.
January 7, 2026 at 6:12 PM
I just left the Venezuela briefing.
It's worse than you thought.
Oil company executives seem to know more about Trump's secret plan to "run" Venezuela than the American people.
We need public Senate hearings NOW.
It's worse than you thought.
Oil company executives seem to know more about Trump's secret plan to "run" Venezuela than the American people.
We need public Senate hearings NOW.
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Mayor Jacob Frey: “To ICE, get the fuck out of Minneapolis.”
January 7, 2026 at 6:43 PM
Mayor Jacob Frey: “To ICE, get the fuck out of Minneapolis.”
RIP Anti-fa hero.
George Hardy, last of the Tuskegee Airmen's World War II combat pilots, dies at 100
George Hardy, last of the Tuskegee Airmen's World War II combat pilots, dies at 100
Hardy, a lieutenant colonel, became the youngest Tuskegee fighter pilot at 19, and was among the first Black military pilots in the United States.
www.nbcnews.com
September 28, 2025 at 1:34 AM
RIP Anti-fa hero.
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Trump’s policies would have turned away Mary and baby Jesus
September 8, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Trump’s policies would have turned away Mary and baby Jesus
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Trump in 2013: “I predict that President Obama will at some point attack Iran in order to save face!”
June 22, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Trump in 2013: “I predict that President Obama will at some point attack Iran in order to save face!”
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
Zohran being peppered with questions about antisemitism and Israel -- despite being ethnically Indian, from Uganda, and having no connection to any militant Muslim organization -- is RACISM.
It's no different than badgering a Jewish candidate about "dual loyalty." Disgusting.
It's no different than badgering a Jewish candidate about "dual loyalty." Disgusting.
June 19, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Zohran being peppered with questions about antisemitism and Israel -- despite being ethnically Indian, from Uganda, and having no connection to any militant Muslim organization -- is RACISM.
It's no different than badgering a Jewish candidate about "dual loyalty." Disgusting.
It's no different than badgering a Jewish candidate about "dual loyalty." Disgusting.
Reposted by Famous Jerry the Carpenter
June 19, 2025 at 7:25 PM