꒰ 𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗸𝗲 ⁞⁞⁞⁞⁞
@stonedandjoyous.bsky.social
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𝘮𝘳. 𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩.
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𝘮𝘳. 𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩.
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Pinned
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i'm going to have to google this stuff. but yes,
i am alan woke the bong wizard. my magical
pipes have done me a lot of good these past
few years.
( they don't bother using any sort of silverware
for their pancakes, opting to eat with their hands. )
and what about you?
ㅤ
i'm going to have to google this stuff. but yes,
i am alan woke the bong wizard. my magical
pipes have done me a lot of good these past
few years.
( they don't bother using any sort of silverware
for their pancakes, opting to eat with their hands. )
and what about you?
ㅤ
Hm, alright, Alan Woke The Bong Wizard. Titles are powerful you know, so keep that close. Maybe an archfey will invite you.
[ He laughs, taking his plate and using non-existant cutlery to cut the pancake into pieces ]
[ He laughs, taking his plate and using non-existant cutlery to cut the pancake into pieces ]
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mage? they usually just call me 'bong wizard.'
i don't even know what any of that means.
( setting the glass pipe aside, smoke still rising
from the bowl. they take a plate of pancakes
for themself. )
i am alan woke. that's all.
ㅤ
mage? they usually just call me 'bong wizard.'
i don't even know what any of that means.
( setting the glass pipe aside, smoke still rising
from the bowl. they take a plate of pancakes
for themself. )
i am alan woke. that's all.
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 3:31 PM
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i'm going to have to google this stuff. but yes,
i am alan woke the bong wizard. my magical
pipes have done me a lot of good these past
few years.
( they don't bother using any sort of silverware
for their pancakes, opting to eat with their hands. )
and what about you?
ㅤ
i'm going to have to google this stuff. but yes,
i am alan woke the bong wizard. my magical
pipes have done me a lot of good these past
few years.
( they don't bother using any sort of silverware
for their pancakes, opting to eat with their hands. )
and what about you?
ㅤ
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yeah. let's never speak of this again.
or do, it doesn't matter to me.
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yeah. let's never speak of this again.
or do, it doesn't matter to me.
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... Agree to clear out and act like it didn't happen?
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( looking up as well. )
yeaaaaah, i can’t afford that. that’s
leagues out of my budget, um.
it’ll fix itself. yeah.
ㅤ
( looking up as well. )
yeaaaaah, i can’t afford that. that’s
leagues out of my budget, um.
it’ll fix itself. yeah.
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 3:27 PM
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yeah. let's never speak of this again.
or do, it doesn't matter to me.
ㅤ
yeah. let's never speak of this again.
or do, it doesn't matter to me.
ㅤ
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struggled to get outta bed cuz my dick
too heavy
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struggled to get outta bed cuz my dick
too heavy
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September 16, 2026 at 3:27 PM
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struggled to get outta bed cuz my dick
too heavy
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struggled to get outta bed cuz my dick
too heavy
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( looking up as well. )
yeaaaaah, i can’t afford that. that’s
leagues out of my budget, um.
it’ll fix itself. yeah.
ㅤ
( looking up as well. )
yeaaaaah, i can’t afford that. that’s
leagues out of my budget, um.
it’ll fix itself. yeah.
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Yeah, no shit. [Looking back up at the clear hole that they just blew in the ceiling...] It's a little impressive, honestly.
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my mom says i’m hard-headed. so
i guess pretty hard?
( rubbing the top of their head before
moving for their shoes. slipping them
back on… )
it’s sturdy for sure though.
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my mom says i’m hard-headed. so
i guess pretty hard?
( rubbing the top of their head before
moving for their shoes. slipping them
back on… )
it’s sturdy for sure though.
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 6:43 AM
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( looking up as well. )
yeaaaaah, i can’t afford that. that’s
leagues out of my budget, um.
it’ll fix itself. yeah.
ㅤ
( looking up as well. )
yeaaaaah, i can’t afford that. that’s
leagues out of my budget, um.
it’ll fix itself. yeah.
ㅤ
ㅤ
my mom says i’m hard-headed. so
i guess pretty hard?
( rubbing the top of their head before
moving for their shoes. slipping them
back on… )
it’s sturdy for sure though.
ㅤ
my mom says i’m hard-headed. so
i guess pretty hard?
( rubbing the top of their head before
moving for their shoes. slipping them
back on… )
it’s sturdy for sure though.
ㅤ
Under that little bit of rubble there.
... Rubbl-
how hard is your head? holy fuck.
... Rubbl-
how hard is your head? holy fuck.
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( up they go! )
ugh.. i didn’t even know i could do that.
… where are my shoes?
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( up they go! )
ugh.. i didn’t even know i could do that.
… where are my shoes?
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September 16, 2026 at 6:38 AM
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my mom says i’m hard-headed. so
i guess pretty hard?
( rubbing the top of their head before
moving for their shoes. slipping them
back on… )
it’s sturdy for sure though.
ㅤ
my mom says i’m hard-headed. so
i guess pretty hard?
( rubbing the top of their head before
moving for their shoes. slipping them
back on… )
it’s sturdy for sure though.
ㅤ
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excellent.
( clapping their hands together. )
i got fuckin’ nothing. they’re rice
krispies, so hope that’s okay with
you.
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excellent.
( clapping their hands together. )
i got fuckin’ nothing. they’re rice
krispies, so hope that’s okay with
you.
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I'll answer your riddles, shop keeper.
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can you answer my riddles?
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can you answer my riddles?
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September 16, 2026 at 6:34 AM
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excellent.
( clapping their hands together. )
i got fuckin’ nothing. they’re rice
krispies, so hope that’s okay with
you.
ㅤ
excellent.
( clapping their hands together. )
i got fuckin’ nothing. they’re rice
krispies, so hope that’s okay with
you.
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Reposted by ꒰ 𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗸𝗲 ⁞⁞⁞⁞⁞
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can you answer my riddles?
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can you answer my riddles?
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Feel like passing one my way ?
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with jamaican spice and everything nice.
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with jamaican spice and everything nice.
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September 16, 2026 at 6:02 AM
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can you answer my riddles?
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can you answer my riddles?
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I MISS THE MINION MEAL
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I MISS THE MINION MEAL
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I FUCKING LOVE WENDY'S!!!
I LOVE 20 PIECE!!!
I FUCKING LOVE WENDY'S!!!
I LOVE 20 PIECE!!!
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mmmm dave’s orange cream soda
I LOVE WENDY’S!!!!
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mmmm dave’s orange cream soda
I LOVE WENDY’S!!!!
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September 16, 2026 at 6:01 AM
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I MISS THE MINION MEAL
ㅤ
I MISS THE MINION MEAL
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( up they go! )
ugh.. i didn’t even know i could do that.
… where are my shoes?
ㅤ
( up they go! )
ugh.. i didn’t even know i could do that.
… where are my shoes?
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[softly laughing, before;] three, two, one, [and pull.]
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( reaching up for it, wincing as they
take it. )
hey, billy…
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( reaching up for it, wincing as they
take it. )
hey, billy…
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September 16, 2026 at 6:00 AM
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( up they go! )
ugh.. i didn’t even know i could do that.
… where are my shoes?
ㅤ
( up they go! )
ugh.. i didn’t even know i could do that.
… where are my shoes?
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with jamaican spice and everything nice.
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with jamaican spice and everything nice.
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Got any edibles?
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there is no other way.
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there is no other way.
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September 16, 2026 at 5:55 AM
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with jamaican spice and everything nice.
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with jamaican spice and everything nice.
ㅤ
ㅤ
( reaching up for it, wincing as they
take it. )
hey, billy…
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( reaching up for it, wincing as they
take it. )
hey, billy…
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[ ... trying not to laugh while offering a hand up.] hey, ron.
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i’m so good. i’m great, actually.
a little stuck but —
( and down they fall, landing with a
large thud. )
…. ᶦ’ᵐ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ
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i’m so good. i’m great, actually.
a little stuck but —
( and down they fall, landing with a
large thud. )
…. ᶦ’ᵐ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 5:54 AM
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( reaching up for it, wincing as they
take it. )
hey, billy…
ㅤ
( reaching up for it, wincing as they
take it. )
hey, billy…
ㅤ
ㅤ
there is no other way.
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there is no other way.
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Anyway.
September 16, 2026 at 5:53 AM
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there is no other way.
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there is no other way.
ㅤ
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mmmm dave’s orange cream soda
I LOVE WENDY’S!!!!
ㅤ
mmmm dave’s orange cream soda
I LOVE WENDY’S!!!!
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Oh my god
Hell yes
Oh my god
Hell yes
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figured it’d be easy for someone like
me.
let’s get wendy’s
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figured it’d be easy for someone like
me.
let’s get wendy’s
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 5:52 AM
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mmmm dave’s orange cream soda
I LOVE WENDY’S!!!!
ㅤ
mmmm dave’s orange cream soda
I LOVE WENDY’S!!!!
ㅤ
ㅤ
i’m so good. i’m great, actually.
a little stuck but —
( and down they fall, landing with a
large thud. )
…. ᶦ’ᵐ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ
ㅤ
i’m so good. i’m great, actually.
a little stuck but —
( and down they fall, landing with a
large thud. )
…. ᶦ’ᵐ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ
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[ ... plink, plink.]
holy shit-.
are you good? [checking the hole with a tentative distance-]
holy shit-.
are you good? [checking the hole with a tentative distance-]
ㅤ
( jumping out of their shoes and into
the ceiling. )
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( jumping out of their shoes and into
the ceiling. )
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September 16, 2026 at 5:52 AM
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i’m so good. i’m great, actually.
a little stuck but —
( and down they fall, landing with a
large thud. )
…. ᶦ’ᵐ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ
ㅤ
i’m so good. i’m great, actually.
a little stuck but —
( and down they fall, landing with a
large thud. )
…. ᶦ’ᵐ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ
ㅤ
ㅤ
( jumping out of their shoes and into
the ceiling. )
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( jumping out of their shoes and into
the ceiling. )
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[dad-sneezes]
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i need friends.
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i need friends.
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September 16, 2026 at 5:46 AM
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( jumping out of their shoes and into
the ceiling. )
ㅤ
( jumping out of their shoes and into
the ceiling. )
ㅤ
ㅤ
figured it’d be easy for someone like
me.
let’s get wendy’s
ㅤ
figured it’d be easy for someone like
me.
let’s get wendy’s
ㅤ
I would like to be friends.
I would like to be friends.
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i need friends.
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i need friends.
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September 16, 2026 at 5:45 AM
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figured it’d be easy for someone like
me.
let’s get wendy’s
ㅤ
figured it’d be easy for someone like
me.
let’s get wendy’s
ㅤ
ㅤ
i need friends.
ㅤ
i need friends.
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 5:42 AM
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i need friends.
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i need friends.
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i'm broke.
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i'm broke.
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September 16, 2026 at 5:18 AM
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i'm broke.
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i'm broke.
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ㅤ🔶
has it really been four years already?
has it really been four years already?
September 16, 2026 at 5:07 AM
September 16, 2026 at 5:05 AM
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tf goin on w my ping
my int net s bing fky
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tf goin on w my ping
my int net s bing fky
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Man fucking fine I'm hopping on
Man fucking fine I'm hopping on
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can you just boot up the fucking game
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can you just boot up the fucking game
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September 16, 2026 at 5:03 AM
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tf goin on w my ping
my int net s bing fky
ㅤ
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tf goin on w my ping
my int net s bing fky
ㅤ
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can you just boot up the fucking game
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can you just boot up the fucking game
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Why do you talk like Jigsaw
Why do you talk like Jigsaw
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let's play.
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let's play.
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September 16, 2026 at 5:01 AM
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can you just boot up the fucking game
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can you just boot up the fucking game
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you would be grand slammed.
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you would be grand slammed.
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... if i ever go to denny's in the future, sure. what would've happened if i weren't.. 'enlightened'?
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no one ever does. but everything is deep.
you've been enlightened i hope. you can
now safely eat a denny's grand slam.
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no one ever does. but everything is deep.
you've been enlightened i hope. you can
now safely eat a denny's grand slam.
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 5:00 AM
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you would be grand slammed.
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you would be grand slammed.
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mage? they usually just call me 'bong wizard.'
i don't even know what any of that means.
( setting the glass pipe aside, smoke still rising
from the bowl. they take a plate of pancakes
for themself. )
i am alan woke. that's all.
ㅤ
mage? they usually just call me 'bong wizard.'
i don't even know what any of that means.
( setting the glass pipe aside, smoke still rising
from the bowl. they take a plate of pancakes
for themself. )
i am alan woke. that's all.
ㅤ
Hm, you also a mage of some kind? Haven't seen somatic spellcasting in a bit, not since the fae courts and their whole debaucle.
[ Rubbing his chin, a flick of his wrist and a cig floats from his pocket to mouth. Lighting itself as he raises a brow ]
What are you?
[ Rubbing his chin, a flick of his wrist and a cig floats from his pocket to mouth. Lighting itself as he raises a brow ]
What are you?
ㅤ
the flower held in the bowl. they hold in
the smoke... )
blueberry, please don't snooze. i need you
now to ooze.
on the pancakes would be fine, taste so
good like a finely pressed wine!
( they exhale the smoke as blueberry syrup
begins to pour from the ceiling onto - -
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the flower held in the bowl. they hold in
the smoke... )
blueberry, please don't snooze. i need you
now to ooze.
on the pancakes would be fine, taste so
good like a finely pressed wine!
( they exhale the smoke as blueberry syrup
begins to pour from the ceiling onto - -
ㅤ
September 16, 2026 at 4:59 AM
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mage? they usually just call me 'bong wizard.'
i don't even know what any of that means.
( setting the glass pipe aside, smoke still rising
from the bowl. they take a plate of pancakes
for themself. )
i am alan woke. that's all.
ㅤ
mage? they usually just call me 'bong wizard.'
i don't even know what any of that means.
( setting the glass pipe aside, smoke still rising
from the bowl. they take a plate of pancakes
for themself. )
i am alan woke. that's all.
ㅤ