theblindwoodchuck.com
@theblindwoodchuck.bsky.social
theblindwoodchuck.com shares cautionary tales about woodland animals who don’t always play by the rules, which is kind of all of us, amirite?
Full disclosure: I am not a republican. Or a woodchuck.
Full disclosure: I am not a republican. Or a woodchuck.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2026/08/03/h...
While trying to figure out what photo to use to illustrate the latest blind woodchuck post, it occurred to me that I had some frozen cicadas in the laundry room fridge.
While trying to figure out what photo to use to illustrate the latest blind woodchuck post, it occurred to me that I had some frozen cicadas in the laundry room fridge.
August 4, 2026 at 5:34 PM
theblindwoodchuck.com/2026/08/03/h...
While trying to figure out what photo to use to illustrate the latest blind woodchuck post, it occurred to me that I had some frozen cicadas in the laundry room fridge.
While trying to figure out what photo to use to illustrate the latest blind woodchuck post, it occurred to me that I had some frozen cicadas in the laundry room fridge.
I was writing this in the backyard while the tree was pelting me and I had to go inside when a mulberry hit the keyboard.
And to Think That I Wanted a Mulberry Tree (2026 version)
Someone had been calling “Yoohoo!” for hours when the blind woodchuck finally sat up in her burrow. She went from groggy to enraged in a matter of seconds and was about to start screaming …
theblindwoodchuck.com
June 24, 2026 at 9:02 PM
I was writing this in the backyard while the tree was pelting me and I had to go inside when a mulberry hit the keyboard.
This is to encourage you to join in with the next No Kings March. No, really.
(Saturday, March 28, at locations across the globe)
(Saturday, March 28, at locations across the globe)
The Ant-idote to Fascism
The large flat rock in the meadow was tilted at exactly 12 degrees facing west, so the surface was the ideal spot for an animal to flatten out and catch some rays. The blind woodchuck had been wait…
theblindwoodchuck.com
March 25, 2026 at 3:51 PM
This is to encourage you to join in with the next No Kings March. No, really.
(Saturday, March 28, at locations across the globe)
(Saturday, March 28, at locations across the globe)
I hope everyone who watched the Oscars stayed for the post credits scene where the Christmas Adventures Club takes out Conan the exact same way they disposed of Lt. Lockjaw in One Battle After Another. Perfect! #Oscars
March 16, 2026 at 2:41 PM
I hope everyone who watched the Oscars stayed for the post credits scene where the Christmas Adventures Club takes out Conan the exact same way they disposed of Lt. Lockjaw in One Battle After Another. Perfect! #Oscars
I, too, have been named Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas (Bureau of Woodchucks).
March 5, 2026 at 11:39 PM
I, too, have been named Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas (Bureau of Woodchucks).
Anyone else having trouble sleeping and afraid to check the news when you wake up? Yeah, me neither.
theblindwoodchuck.com
theblindwoodchuck.com
February 28, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Anyone else having trouble sleeping and afraid to check the news when you wake up? Yeah, me neither.
theblindwoodchuck.com
theblindwoodchuck.com
This is the opinion of the Washington Post, and even though Jeff Bezos is a dickhead, I support this opinion completely.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2026/01/31/a...
theblindwoodchuck.com/2026/01/31/a...
January 31, 2026 at 11:54 PM
This is the opinion of the Washington Post, and even though Jeff Bezos is a dickhead, I support this opinion completely.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2026/01/31/a...
theblindwoodchuck.com/2026/01/31/a...
January 11, 2026 at 3:07 PM
January 1, 2026 at 9:22 PM
As a former Flying Monkey (Huntington Community Players, 1970), I would like to reassure anyone who is considering switching sides that you can start out in a red hat but eventually end up riding with the witch trying to take down the evil Wizard. Happy holidays!
theblindwoodchuck.com
theblindwoodchuck.com
December 8, 2025 at 9:18 PM
As a former Flying Monkey (Huntington Community Players, 1970), I would like to reassure anyone who is considering switching sides that you can start out in a red hat but eventually end up riding with the witch trying to take down the evil Wizard. Happy holidays!
theblindwoodchuck.com
theblindwoodchuck.com
The best thing about this whole mess has been the introduction to the public of the delightful literary phrase "a dog that hasn't barked." Not having read Sherlock Holmes, I had no idea what it meant.
So thank you Mr. Epstein (you pig), for encouraging us to become better readers of the classics!
So thank you Mr. Epstein (you pig), for encouraging us to become better readers of the classics!
November 13, 2025 at 3:42 PM
The best thing about this whole mess has been the introduction to the public of the delightful literary phrase "a dog that hasn't barked." Not having read Sherlock Holmes, I had no idea what it meant.
So thank you Mr. Epstein (you pig), for encouraging us to become better readers of the classics!
So thank you Mr. Epstein (you pig), for encouraging us to become better readers of the classics!
After the No Kings March, Trump posted an Ai generated video of himself in a plane dumping shit on protesters.
There may have been nothing we could do in response, but the woodchuck and her friends have a much more highly developed sense of revenge.
theblindwoodchuck.com
There may have been nothing we could do in response, but the woodchuck and her friends have a much more highly developed sense of revenge.
theblindwoodchuck.com
November 10, 2025 at 6:19 PM
After the No Kings March, Trump posted an Ai generated video of himself in a plane dumping shit on protesters.
There may have been nothing we could do in response, but the woodchuck and her friends have a much more highly developed sense of revenge.
theblindwoodchuck.com
There may have been nothing we could do in response, but the woodchuck and her friends have a much more highly developed sense of revenge.
theblindwoodchuck.com
To all the Dems in despair:
November 5, 2025 at 2:19 PM
To all the Dems in despair:
The woodchuck will be there. Will you? theblindwoodchuck.com
October 15, 2025 at 7:06 PM
The woodchuck will be there. Will you? theblindwoodchuck.com
Q. Who is a bear's favorite author?
A. Salman Rushdie!
A little comic relief in the midst of these unbearable times:
theblindwoodchuck.com
A. Salman Rushdie!
A little comic relief in the midst of these unbearable times:
theblindwoodchuck.com
September 28, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Q. Who is a bear's favorite author?
A. Salman Rushdie!
A little comic relief in the midst of these unbearable times:
theblindwoodchuck.com
A. Salman Rushdie!
A little comic relief in the midst of these unbearable times:
theblindwoodchuck.com
All birthday parties are equal, but some are more equal than others.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/09/14/b...
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/09/14/b...
September 14, 2025 at 5:43 AM
All birthday parties are equal, but some are more equal than others.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/09/14/b...
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/09/14/b...
August 18, 2025 at 6:20 PM
If you have to tell people you're not, you probably are.
Cult Classic
The woodchuck held the poultice against her jaw while she held her nose. The fragrant package was an expertly wrapped catalpa leaf filled with elderberries and herbs that was Cousin Shirley’s secre…
theblindwoodchuck.com
July 7, 2025 at 8:25 PM
If you have to tell people you're not, you probably are.
The pictures of the guests arriving in Venice for the Bezos/Sanchez wedding are definitive proof that microplastics are now present in every part of the body; this seems to affect primarily females of the species.
June 27, 2025 at 3:04 PM
The pictures of the guests arriving in Venice for the Bezos/Sanchez wedding are definitive proof that microplastics are now present in every part of the body; this seems to affect primarily females of the species.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/06/20/a...
If I were to write a new homage to Dr. Seuss, it would be called "If IRAN the Zoo". My backyard is an Old Country Buffet for squirrels, and it feels like the USA is being run by chimps whose brains have been eaten by the ebola virus (no offense to monkeys).
If I were to write a new homage to Dr. Seuss, it would be called "If IRAN the Zoo". My backyard is an Old Country Buffet for squirrels, and it feels like the USA is being run by chimps whose brains have been eaten by the ebola virus (no offense to monkeys).
June 20, 2025 at 2:37 PM
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/06/20/a...
If I were to write a new homage to Dr. Seuss, it would be called "If IRAN the Zoo". My backyard is an Old Country Buffet for squirrels, and it feels like the USA is being run by chimps whose brains have been eaten by the ebola virus (no offense to monkeys).
If I were to write a new homage to Dr. Seuss, it would be called "If IRAN the Zoo". My backyard is an Old Country Buffet for squirrels, and it feels like the USA is being run by chimps whose brains have been eaten by the ebola virus (no offense to monkeys).
Man is in the forest. Or weasels, but it's sort of the same thing.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/06/11/l...
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/06/11/l...
June 11, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Man is in the forest. Or weasels, but it's sort of the same thing.
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/06/11/l...
theblindwoodchuck.com/2025/06/11/l...
June 3, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Everybody ready?
April 5, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Everybody ready?