Chuck Hansen
@thechuckhansen.bsky.social
Occasionally funny. Site on web: chuckhansen.com
Dear @nytimes.com Wordle: I do not have unlimited time. Today or in life. Death comes for us all. I will not waste that precious time. All the best.
August 17, 2026 at 3:08 AM
Dear @nytimes.com Wordle: I do not have unlimited time. Today or in life. Death comes for us all. I will not waste that precious time. All the best.
No foreign wars, he said.
For nearly *1/3 of Trump’s second term* we’ve been at war with Iran. 18 Americans have died, and more than 640 have been wounded, many with life-altering injuries. The average American family is paying $700 a year more for gas directly because of this war (Eurasia Group).
For nearly *1/3 of Trump’s second term* we’ve been at war with Iran. 18 Americans have died, and more than 640 have been wounded, many with life-altering injuries. The average American family is paying $700 a year more for gas directly because of this war (Eurasia Group).
July 30, 2026 at 3:42 PM
No foreign wars, he said.
For nearly *1/3 of Trump’s second term* we’ve been at war with Iran. 18 Americans have died, and more than 640 have been wounded, many with life-altering injuries. The average American family is paying $700 a year more for gas directly because of this war (Eurasia Group).
For nearly *1/3 of Trump’s second term* we’ve been at war with Iran. 18 Americans have died, and more than 640 have been wounded, many with life-altering injuries. The average American family is paying $700 a year more for gas directly because of this war (Eurasia Group).
Operation “Epic Fury” is over.
Operation “Mullah May I?” has begun.
#iran #Hormuz #trump #clusterfuck #goatrodeo
Operation “Mullah May I?” has begun.
#iran #Hormuz #trump #clusterfuck #goatrodeo
June 27, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Operation “Epic Fury” is over.
Operation “Mullah May I?” has begun.
#iran #Hormuz #trump #clusterfuck #goatrodeo
Operation “Mullah May I?” has begun.
#iran #Hormuz #trump #clusterfuck #goatrodeo
Hey, @davidepstein.bsky.social @dkthomp.bsky.social , your interview on Plain English led me to “Inside the Box”, which I’m loving. Re: creativity arising from constraints, I thought you might enjoy this song by my son Daniel Hansen, which is entirely haikus, and beautiful: youtu.be/zvW4FOdvcZU?...
Daniel Hansen - Backyard Garden (Live Performance)
YouTube video by Daniel Hansen
youtu.be
June 15, 2026 at 11:09 PM
Hey, @davidepstein.bsky.social @dkthomp.bsky.social , your interview on Plain English led me to “Inside the Box”, which I’m loving. Re: creativity arising from constraints, I thought you might enjoy this song by my son Daniel Hansen, which is entirely haikus, and beautiful: youtu.be/zvW4FOdvcZU?...
@sarahlongwell25.bsky.social & @timmiller.bsky.social - You seem surprised the Va. redistricting initiative is close. VA is a purple & pragmatic, w/ a 6-5 map. When Sen. Lucas & far left drew a 10-1 map, that struck a lot of swing voters as unfair to 35-40% of VA voters, even w/ Trump’s ratfuckery.
April 9, 2026 at 8:47 PM
@sarahlongwell25.bsky.social & @timmiller.bsky.social - You seem surprised the Va. redistricting initiative is close. VA is a purple & pragmatic, w/ a 6-5 map. When Sen. Lucas & far left drew a 10-1 map, that struck a lot of swing voters as unfair to 35-40% of VA voters, even w/ Trump’s ratfuckery.
@nytimes.com one person’s opinion: this is the kind of solution that could lead me to quit #wordle. It makes it a guessing game, not a logic game:
August 27, 2025 at 1:30 PM
@nytimes.com one person’s opinion: this is the kind of solution that could lead me to quit #wordle. It makes it a guessing game, not a logic game:
@briankoppelman.bsky.social I’d be interested in your take on “A Complete Unknown”.
August 1, 2025 at 2:39 AM
@briankoppelman.bsky.social I’d be interested in your take on “A Complete Unknown”.
Daniel Hansen’s new album “Expecting Something Different,” is out! It’s chill & deep & beautiful. Take a listen. 🙂
#americana #folkmusic #singersongwriter
Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/5ZbA1k...
Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/exp...
#americana #folkmusic #singersongwriter
Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/5ZbA1k...
Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/exp...
Expecting Something Different
Daniel Hansen · EP · 2025 · 5 songs
open.spotify.com
April 25, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Daniel Hansen’s new album “Expecting Something Different,” is out! It’s chill & deep & beautiful. Take a listen. 🙂
#americana #folkmusic #singersongwriter
Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/5ZbA1k...
Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/exp...
#americana #folkmusic #singersongwriter
Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/5ZbA1k...
Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/exp...
#AmericanGraffiti has a sequel. It’s the song “Are You Out There” by @darwilliams.bsky.social
open.spotify.com/track/3oLLoO...
open.spotify.com/track/3oLLoO...
Are You Out There
Dar Williams · Many Great Companions · Song · 2010
open.spotify.com
April 23, 2025 at 2:27 AM
#AmericanGraffiti has a sequel. It’s the song “Are You Out There” by @darwilliams.bsky.social
open.spotify.com/track/3oLLoO...
open.spotify.com/track/3oLLoO...
@whatsonpplus.bsky.social @portalparamount.bsky.social - when your app asks me if I want to watch a game from the beginning, and I say yes, I consider a FREAKING FAIL when the app starts the game during the wrap up show with the score on the screen.
April 17, 2025 at 9:59 PM
@whatsonpplus.bsky.social @portalparamount.bsky.social - when your app asks me if I want to watch a game from the beginning, and I say yes, I consider a FREAKING FAIL when the app starts the game during the wrap up show with the score on the screen.
In an exclusive GNBNC interview, President Trump says the market reports are not correct:
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
cc: @3yearletterman
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
cc: @3yearletterman
GNBNC Interviews President Donald Trump as Markets Crash — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
SQUALL: Sir, here is a chart of the markets today… TRUMP: That’s outdated. Here’s the latest chart… See? See that black line? The markets are WAY up. They’re at historic highs. STONE: Can’t argue wi...
www.chuckhansen.com
April 3, 2025 at 5:07 PM
In an exclusive GNBNC interview, President Trump says the market reports are not correct:
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
cc: @3yearletterman
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
cc: @3yearletterman
GNBNC breaks the story that musician Jimmy Bland (pictured, sort of, he's not actually real) is gonna write a song about being lonely on the road, or something...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025/3/17/q5v8urs56pfbdkwngl0smj2gochp4m
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025/3/17/q5v8urs56pfbdkwngl0smj2gochp4m
This jamoke thinks he's the first musician to cover "Alleluia" — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
This is a real blog post about a fake singer-songwriter (Jimmy Bland, pictured above) and, you may not believe it, but he thinks he’s the first person to cover Alleluia.
www.chuckhansen.com
March 17, 2025 at 11:29 PM
GNBNC breaks the story that musician Jimmy Bland (pictured, sort of, he's not actually real) is gonna write a song about being lonely on the road, or something...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025/3/17/q5v8urs56pfbdkwngl0smj2gochp4m
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025/3/17/q5v8urs56pfbdkwngl0smj2gochp4m
Thanks to AI, in #Florida middle-school students cannot be sure whether their teachers used ChatGPT or actually wrote their own love notes.
March 11, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Thanks to AI, in #Florida middle-school students cannot be sure whether their teachers used ChatGPT or actually wrote their own love notes.
Thanks to AI, Florida middle-school teachers cannot tell whether ChatGPT or the students themselves wrote the students' love notes.
March 11, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Thanks to AI, Florida middle-school teachers cannot tell whether ChatGPT or the students themselves wrote the students' love notes.
I think if the team in red wins we should rename them the USA Hockey Team.
#hockey #dohashtagsworkhere
#hockey #dohashtagsworkhere
February 21, 2025 at 3:46 AM
I think if the team in red wins we should rename them the USA Hockey Team.
#hockey #dohashtagsworkhere
#hockey #dohashtagsworkhere
My wife and I "recently" saw @lylelovett.bsky.social & his Large Band at the @dominionenergy.bsky.social Center for the Performing Arts. @bonnieraitt.bsky.social & Donavon Frankenreiter were not there, but they're in this story, as is the Obligatory Drunk Idiot.
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
Lyle Lovett, Prostates, and the Idiot in the Balcony — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
Stacy and I knocked an item off my Bucket List (and her Leap List) a couple years ago when we saw a Very Famous Music Star in concert. I’m about to poke some gentle fun at this musician’s audience (in...
www.chuckhansen.com
February 15, 2025 at 7:39 PM
My wife and I "recently" saw @lylelovett.bsky.social & his Large Band at the @dominionenergy.bsky.social Center for the Performing Arts. @bonnieraitt.bsky.social & Donavon Frankenreiter were not there, but they're in this story, as is the Obligatory Drunk Idiot.
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
Sometimes I think morality, or lack of morality, isn’t about what you’ll *do* to get what you want, but what you’ll *ignore* to get what you want.
January 30, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Sometimes I think morality, or lack of morality, isn’t about what you’ll *do* to get what you want, but what you’ll *ignore* to get what you want.
Then I saw the raccoons on a branch over my campsite. I checked in with my outdoorsman brother-in-law Lee, who theorized the raccoons were after my wine. My *wine*? It was settled then. Tonight I would die. Now I knew how Davy Crockett felt at the Alamo.
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
Heaven and Hell - Night 4 — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
Then I saw the raccoons on a branch over my campsite. I checked in with my outdoorsman brother-in-law Lee, who theorized the raccoons were after my wine. My wine ? It was settled then. Tonight I woul...
www.chuckhansen.com
January 29, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Then I saw the raccoons on a branch over my campsite. I checked in with my outdoorsman brother-in-law Lee, who theorized the raccoons were after my wine. My *wine*? It was settled then. Tonight I would die. Now I knew how Davy Crockett felt at the Alamo.
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
A sand dollar saved is NOT a sand dollar earned, which I learned the HARD way. Plus an excursion to the God-fearing town of Apalachicola!
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
Another Day, Another Sand Dollar - Day 3 — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
Sure, they wake up wet and slimy too, but they don’t seem to care.
www.chuckhansen.com
January 28, 2025 at 5:22 PM
A sand dollar saved is NOT a sand dollar earned, which I learned the HARD way. Plus an excursion to the God-fearing town of Apalachicola!
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
In which the main character prepares to fight off a black bear with just a copy of Marcus Aurelius's "Meditations," a giant bottle of wine, and a distorted view of how nature works....
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
How Much Chuck Would a Black Bear Eat... — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
I knew coyotes would steer clear of me, but I wondered whether the black bears had gotten the memo. I retrieved the bear spray from the Pilot and set it next to my chair. I also grabbed a headlamp and...
www.chuckhansen.com
January 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
In which the main character prepares to fight off a black bear with just a copy of Marcus Aurelius's "Meditations," a giant bottle of wine, and a distorted view of how nature works....
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
The main product of Blue Ridge, GA is “charm.” It's where charm goes to reproduce, like trout swimming upstream to spawn. You can’t swing a dead Oncorhynchus mykiss (assuming you can hold on to it) w/o hitting a charming restaurant, boutique or choo-choo train.
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
Welcome to Charming Blue Ridge, Georgia — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
These days the main product of the town is “charm.” Blue Ridge is where charm goes to reproduce, like trout swimming up an Appalachian Mountain stream to spawn. You can’t swing a dead Oncorhynchus my...
www.chuckhansen.com
January 24, 2025 at 11:52 PM
The main product of Blue Ridge, GA is “charm.” It's where charm goes to reproduce, like trout swimming upstream to spawn. You can’t swing a dead Oncorhynchus mykiss (assuming you can hold on to it) w/o hitting a charming restaurant, boutique or choo-choo train.
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2025...
With the @ncaafb.bsky.social Nat'l Championship set for Monday, here is a sadly funny piece I wrote 2 SEASONS AGO about how @ncaa.bsky.social was screwing up college football with the @transferportal.bsky.social, #NIL & #conferenceexpansion. #ohiostate #notredame
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2023...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2023...
GNBNC Exclusive: College Athletics, NIL, the Transfer Portal, Conference Consolidation, and How All That is in Pursuit of Academic Excellence — Chuck Hansen: humorist...
Coach: I was feeling GREAT in August, when we were part of the Atlantic Mid-Coastal Conference… Squall: The storied AMCC… Coach: … but then PENCIL-NECK here cut a deal to drop us into the Pan-Great ...
www.chuckhansen.com
January 18, 2025 at 4:04 PM
With the @ncaafb.bsky.social Nat'l Championship set for Monday, here is a sadly funny piece I wrote 2 SEASONS AGO about how @ncaa.bsky.social was screwing up college football with the @transferportal.bsky.social, #NIL & #conferenceexpansion. #ohiostate #notredame
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2023...
www.chuckhansen.com/my-blog/2023...