Guy
@theguydf.bsky.social
Incapable of loving myself without the validation of strangers
Someone stole my air conditioner! Not cool. Not. Cool.
August 5, 2026 at 3:47 AM
Someone stole my air conditioner! Not cool. Not. Cool.
If you’re trying to figure out the direction our country has gone, make a sharp right turn after Obama.
August 3, 2026 at 3:25 AM
If you’re trying to figure out the direction our country has gone, make a sharp right turn after Obama.
No matter what happens in the World Cup, I think Scotland has locked up the prize for most fun guests.
June 21, 2026 at 5:01 AM
No matter what happens in the World Cup, I think Scotland has locked up the prize for most fun guests.
Weird how the Secret Service had no problem making Madison Square Garden secure but couldn’t do it in Butler, PA.
June 10, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Weird how the Secret Service had no problem making Madison Square Garden secure but couldn’t do it in Butler, PA.
Good news! If you purchased a Trump phone, they are now available for pickup at Trump University.
May 10, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Good news! If you purchased a Trump phone, they are now available for pickup at Trump University.
Since its launch as a public company, Trump Media has generated roughly $11.3 million in total revenue against $1.17 billion in total net losses, a staggering 104:1 loss-to-revenue ratio.
May 9, 2026 at 1:46 AM
Since its launch as a public company, Trump Media has generated roughly $11.3 million in total revenue against $1.17 billion in total net losses, a staggering 104:1 loss-to-revenue ratio.
I love the time change.
Goodbye, seasonal depression!
Welcome back, normal depression.
Goodbye, seasonal depression!
Welcome back, normal depression.
March 9, 2026 at 12:11 AM
I love the time change.
Goodbye, seasonal depression!
Welcome back, normal depression.
Goodbye, seasonal depression!
Welcome back, normal depression.
15 years ago today I quit smoking cold turkey, and I have to say it was way easier than quitting smoking cigarettes.
February 28, 2026 at 6:52 PM
15 years ago today I quit smoking cold turkey, and I have to say it was way easier than quitting smoking cigarettes.
This may be the dumbest take I’ve seen in a long time. “I’m not voting for democratic candidates in the midterms because they didn’t applaud Trump.”
February 28, 2026 at 1:47 AM
This may be the dumbest take I’ve seen in a long time. “I’m not voting for democratic candidates in the midterms because they didn’t applaud Trump.”
Elon Musk was issued a letter of reprimand for screwing with the Georgia elections. Wow, that will show him. 🙄
February 20, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Elon Musk was issued a letter of reprimand for screwing with the Georgia elections. Wow, that will show him. 🙄
Wife: Get ready, we have to leave in 15 minutes!
Me: Do you want me to get dressed three times?
Me: Do you want me to get dressed three times?
January 18, 2026 at 4:45 AM
Wife: Get ready, we have to leave in 15 minutes!
Me: Do you want me to get dressed three times?
Me: Do you want me to get dressed three times?
This is for any baseball nerds like me. At breakfast today and older gentleman came to my table and started talking to me because he saw my Yankees hat. Turns out his father 1/2
October 12, 2025 at 5:15 AM
This is for any baseball nerds like me. At breakfast today and older gentleman came to my table and started talking to me because he saw my Yankees hat. Turns out his father 1/2
Friend told me to ask Alexa, “how do you say a seal pushed me yesterday” in French and omg if you do this make sure the kids are aren’t around
October 3, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Friend told me to ask Alexa, “how do you say a seal pushed me yesterday” in French and omg if you do this make sure the kids are aren’t around
I think I may have irritable personality syndrome.
September 24, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I think I may have irritable personality syndrome.
Trump Supporters: We’re going to boycott New York City if Zohran Mamdani gets elected as Mayor.
New Yorkers:
New Yorkers:
a man is holding a microphone in front of a blue curtain and talking into it .
Alt: Donald Glover is holding a microphone in front of a blue curtain and talking into it saying “Good”.
media.tenor.com
September 24, 2025 at 5:34 AM
Trump Supporters: We’re going to boycott New York City if Zohran Mamdani gets elected as Mayor.
New Yorkers:
New Yorkers:
On “rapture eve” we should all put a set of our clothes out on the front lawn and really freak some people out
September 22, 2025 at 5:37 PM
On “rapture eve” we should all put a set of our clothes out on the front lawn and really freak some people out
I didn’t even hear what he said. Was it worse than calling our veterans suckers and losers
September 18, 2025 at 3:46 AM
I didn’t even hear what he said. Was it worse than calling our veterans suckers and losers
A couple of years ago I got a book called "Getting Things Done". Never read it.
September 16, 2025 at 4:39 AM
A couple of years ago I got a book called "Getting Things Done". Never read it.
As an adult white male, can I just say that the biggest threat to our country is clearly adult white males
August 29, 2025 at 4:34 AM
As an adult white male, can I just say that the biggest threat to our country is clearly adult white males
The Epstein files don’t need to be released, if he wasn’t in them the proof would’ve been touted by every major news source months ago.
August 25, 2025 at 12:47 AM
The Epstein files don’t need to be released, if he wasn’t in them the proof would’ve been touted by every major news source months ago.
How it started vs How it’s going
August 24, 2025 at 11:22 PM
How it started vs How it’s going
If you’re against gay marriage, may I suggest not marrying someone that’s the same sex as you. Otherwise stfu, your opinion is meaningless.
August 12, 2025 at 3:32 AM
If you’re against gay marriage, may I suggest not marrying someone that’s the same sex as you. Otherwise stfu, your opinion is meaningless.
I don’t remember living in a dystopian society when Biden was President.
August 11, 2025 at 4:16 AM
I don’t remember living in a dystopian society when Biden was President.
Did you just pay six figures for the ugliest vehicle on the road?
August 7, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Did you just pay six figures for the ugliest vehicle on the road?
If the media actually pushed on the Epstein thing half as much as they did the “Joe Biden is old and incapable” thing, we would be done with him already.
August 3, 2025 at 7:10 PM
If the media actually pushed on the Epstein thing half as much as they did the “Joe Biden is old and incapable” thing, we would be done with him already.