i'm married to sammy and #samdy is sooooo real

the missus was all dolled up and she's tying me to a table sayin "i'm gonna harvest your heart" and i says aww babycakes, you already did that when i met ya! can't steal my heart twice, dollface! help btw

i am actually very smart and talented and i know everything
dont believe what anyone else says

i like my househusband
little baby man little baby little baby man little baby no thoughts head empty pathetic little man jelly belly pet rat gummy candy

i only date men that are
93 feet tall
and treat me like a god
or
like
are women

whistle whistle here boy here boy come get your treat

how to fix "fathers" obsession to subway surfers

i need a pest exterminator
as soon as possible preferably

i need this animal gone IMMEDIATELY