Managed to improve an issue with a script at work that reduced the execution time from 50-60 minutes to less than 2 minutes. A whopping 97% reduction! Guess whoever wrote this didn't anticipate the multiplicative nature of reading hundreds of lines in a file per file being validated.
September 12, 2026 at 10:11 AM
Managed to improve an issue with a script at work that reduced the execution time from 50-60 minutes to less than 2 minutes. A whopping 97% reduction! Guess whoever wrote this didn't anticipate the multiplicative nature of reading hundreds of lines in a file per file being validated.
I wanted to make a funny command for a streamer I mod for, so I spun up a Java spring boot app and deployed it to the Google cloud. The app contains logic for a !roulette command, but the odds are rigged: twitch chatters have a 1% fail rate while youtube chatters have a 90%. Fail = 10 min timeout
August 29, 2026 at 10:42 AM
I wanted to make a funny command for a streamer I mod for, so I spun up a Java spring boot app and deployed it to the Google cloud. The app contains logic for a !roulette command, but the odds are rigged: twitch chatters have a 1% fail rate while youtube chatters have a 90%. Fail = 10 min timeout
At a Poppy concert and a lady noticed my iron mouse shirt. The only indication it is an ironmouse shirt is the little mouse poking out of my shirt pocket.
Pog.
Pog.
August 9, 2026 at 4:10 AM
At a Poppy concert and a lady noticed my iron mouse shirt. The only indication it is an ironmouse shirt is the little mouse poking out of my shirt pocket.
Pog.
Pog.
Visiting home for the first time in a few years.
We took some family photos.
Sister then used AI to edit them to a level I didnt like
I bought a $60 colorful polo and the ai gave me a black polo!!
And mum wants to put the ai version on the wall!! No!! Dont do this to me plz.
We took some family photos.
Sister then used AI to edit them to a level I didnt like
I bought a $60 colorful polo and the ai gave me a black polo!!
And mum wants to put the ai version on the wall!! No!! Dont do this to me plz.
July 25, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Visiting home for the first time in a few years.
We took some family photos.
Sister then used AI to edit them to a level I didnt like
I bought a $60 colorful polo and the ai gave me a black polo!!
And mum wants to put the ai version on the wall!! No!! Dont do this to me plz.
We took some family photos.
Sister then used AI to edit them to a level I didnt like
I bought a $60 colorful polo and the ai gave me a black polo!!
And mum wants to put the ai version on the wall!! No!! Dont do this to me plz.
Decided to change my cheesy spaghetti recipe up a bit
Absolutely fumbled it
Just cooked a piece of shit
Never have I been so embarrassed in my culinary career
Absolutely fumbled it
Just cooked a piece of shit
Never have I been so embarrassed in my culinary career
July 19, 2026 at 5:40 AM
Decided to change my cheesy spaghetti recipe up a bit
Absolutely fumbled it
Just cooked a piece of shit
Never have I been so embarrassed in my culinary career
Absolutely fumbled it
Just cooked a piece of shit
Never have I been so embarrassed in my culinary career
Went to a party at 3 p.m. and took a 3 hour nap on the couch.
I will never emotionally recover from this.
I will never emotionally recover from this.
July 5, 2026 at 7:03 AM
Went to a party at 3 p.m. and took a 3 hour nap on the couch.
I will never emotionally recover from this.
I will never emotionally recover from this.
Buddy told the gang he doesn't know why he got a 7-day suspension in League of Legends. We checked his match history, and he went 25 deaths in a 35-minute ranked game and 21 deaths in a 28-minute ranked match.
The group chat pulled up the VOD, and the voice chat is exploding in emotion.
The group chat pulled up the VOD, and the voice chat is exploding in emotion.
June 30, 2026 at 2:29 AM
Buddy told the gang he doesn't know why he got a 7-day suspension in League of Legends. We checked his match history, and he went 25 deaths in a 35-minute ranked game and 21 deaths in a 28-minute ranked match.
The group chat pulled up the VOD, and the voice chat is exploding in emotion.
The group chat pulled up the VOD, and the voice chat is exploding in emotion.
Solo night dire marsh has been a blast. It's still early season so the average person is rocking a green which gets one tapped by a rail gun.
I have upset a many runners over placing a bolt into their cranium while they are locked into the activating network tower animation.
I have upset a many runners over placing a bolt into their cranium while they are locked into the activating network tower animation.
June 13, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Solo night dire marsh has been a blast. It's still early season so the average person is rocking a green which gets one tapped by a rail gun.
I have upset a many runners over placing a bolt into their cranium while they are locked into the activating network tower animation.
I have upset a many runners over placing a bolt into their cranium while they are locked into the activating network tower animation.
Marathon really has its hooks into me. If the PvP and gunplay weren't 💯, I would have probably bounced before reaching triple-digit hours.
But maaaaan gimme a way to learn the Cry Archive map without having to burn gear 😭😭😭😭
But maaaaan gimme a way to learn the Cry Archive map without having to burn gear 😭😭😭😭
a heart shaped mirror has a picture of a robot inside
Alt: A heart-shaped locket that opens to reveal the Heal-bot used by Triage in Marathon (2026)
media.tenor.com
April 20, 2026 at 8:25 PM
Marathon really has its hooks into me. If the PvP and gunplay weren't 💯, I would have probably bounced before reaching triple-digit hours.
But maaaaan gimme a way to learn the Cry Archive map without having to burn gear 😭😭😭😭
But maaaaan gimme a way to learn the Cry Archive map without having to burn gear 😭😭😭😭
Reposted by Ben
Got a random mini side-quest from dad.
He works with someone who beat him at a words-per-minute test, and he asked if I could race him.
Suffice to say I smoked 'em and restored my dad's honor 🫡
He works with someone who beat him at a words-per-minute test, and he asked if I could race him.
Suffice to say I smoked 'em and restored my dad's honor 🫡
March 13, 2026 at 1:45 AM
Got a random mini side-quest from dad.
He works with someone who beat him at a words-per-minute test, and he asked if I could race him.
Suffice to say I smoked 'em and restored my dad's honor 🫡
He works with someone who beat him at a words-per-minute test, and he asked if I could race him.
Suffice to say I smoked 'em and restored my dad's honor 🫡
Reposted by Ben
I'm chiinsaw man
ちぃんそーマン🪚でキメますっ☆
ちぃんそーマン🪚でキメますっ☆
February 11, 2026 at 11:40 PM
I'm chiinsaw man
ちぃんそーマン🪚でキメますっ☆
ちぃんそーマン🪚でキメますっ☆
Reposted by Ben
I have made the mistake of taking a long 4 hour nap
My sleep schedule will never recover 😭😭😭😭😭
My sleep schedule will never recover 😭😭😭😭😭
October 19, 2025 at 6:33 AM
I have made the mistake of taking a long 4 hour nap
My sleep schedule will never recover 😭😭😭😭😭
My sleep schedule will never recover 😭😭😭😭😭
Went to the post office to get my passport stuff done for first time which required my birth certificate.
Dawg they stapled my birth certificate! Stapled! That piece of paper was in mint condition for 30 years now it's forever tainted ;__;
Dawg they stapled my birth certificate! Stapled! That piece of paper was in mint condition for 30 years now it's forever tainted ;__;
October 4, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Went to the post office to get my passport stuff done for first time which required my birth certificate.
Dawg they stapled my birth certificate! Stapled! That piece of paper was in mint condition for 30 years now it's forever tainted ;__;
Dawg they stapled my birth certificate! Stapled! That piece of paper was in mint condition for 30 years now it's forever tainted ;__;
Reposted by Ben
![Comic. PERSON 1 to person with white hat: I finished all the gen-ed back in 2010, and I’m up to the 400-level courses in most departments. But now one of my advisors is saying I “can’t have more than 20 majors” and “need to graduate next year.” It’s outrageous! [caption] My university is making it really hard to finish a 100% all achievements speedrun.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreigl6eeo62a2vwfi5hsaakrhvcqhoh7zpjgqslpteem2vfdmtxh4si)
October 1, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Reposted by Ben
Reposted by Ben
Reposted by Ben
Reposted by Ben
Here is some non-satire for you:
Trans rights forever.
Trans rights forever.
September 14, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Here is some non-satire for you:
Trans rights forever.
Trans rights forever.
I've been queue skipping the Spotify jam and I would do it again
August 31, 2025 at 4:49 AM
I've been queue skipping the Spotify jam and I would do it again
If you don't thumbs up the car wash guy when you put it in neutral then are you even living?
August 22, 2025 at 11:11 PM
If you don't thumbs up the car wash guy when you put it in neutral then are you even living?
Someone in London referencing Dead Frontier in the year of our lord 2025 is crazy
Haven't touched that since the late 2000s when satellite was my only way to access the internet
Haven't touched that since the late 2000s when satellite was my only way to access the internet
August 9, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Someone in London referencing Dead Frontier in the year of our lord 2025 is crazy
Haven't touched that since the late 2000s when satellite was my only way to access the internet
Haven't touched that since the late 2000s when satellite was my only way to access the internet
Rocket Money keeps telling me they noticed "an usually large transaction" like yea that's my rent payment why do you keep telling me I'm overpaying 😭😭😭
July 3, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Rocket Money keeps telling me they noticed "an usually large transaction" like yea that's my rent payment why do you keep telling me I'm overpaying 😭😭😭