@theteendoc.bsky.social
Being afraid will make us avoid anything that makes us feel weak or small. Brushing your teeth or waking up for a day of potential rejection make getting out of bed a monumental task.
September 15, 2026 at 12:48 PM
Being afraid will make us avoid anything that makes us feel weak or small. Brushing your teeth or waking up for a day of potential rejection make getting out of bed a monumental task.
When we feel small and can only find some relief in a few things, curiosity about those things can feel like someone is trying to attack you instead of get to know you. How do you befriend someone who is too afraid to share themselves because they believe there is nothing good about themselves.
September 14, 2026 at 1:04 PM
When we feel small and can only find some relief in a few things, curiosity about those things can feel like someone is trying to attack you instead of get to know you. How do you befriend someone who is too afraid to share themselves because they believe there is nothing good about themselves.
Healing is being able to look at your situation to validate it and be astonished that you have survived this long believing you didn’t matter. The question begs to be asked, what would happen if you believed that you matter and you are good enough?
September 11, 2026 at 2:15 PM
Healing is being able to look at your situation to validate it and be astonished that you have survived this long believing you didn’t matter. The question begs to be asked, what would happen if you believed that you matter and you are good enough?
Helping can be something done to prevent your own emotional suffering; so you see yourself as a good person. What it does for the other person is prevents their emotional growth, especially when they did not ask for the type of help you’re giving.
September 10, 2026 at 12:57 PM
Helping can be something done to prevent your own emotional suffering; so you see yourself as a good person. What it does for the other person is prevents their emotional growth, especially when they did not ask for the type of help you’re giving.
The most frightened part of you prevents you from doing something you feel you have to do. You’ve used fear, shame and criticism to motivate that part of you. As a resulted they are exhausted. Maybe it’s time to try something new?
September 9, 2026 at 2:25 PM
The most frightened part of you prevents you from doing something you feel you have to do. You’ve used fear, shame and criticism to motivate that part of you. As a resulted they are exhausted. Maybe it’s time to try something new?
Your heart racing and the blood rushing away from your face is asking to be heard. Our instinct is to distract and avoid, but over time avoiding makes us believe we cannot handle hard things.
September 8, 2026 at 2:13 PM
Your heart racing and the blood rushing away from your face is asking to be heard. Our instinct is to distract and avoid, but over time avoiding makes us believe we cannot handle hard things.
Too many times a parent has called enmeshment a close relationship with their child. Enmeshment shows up as control,or emotional manipulation that the child starts to rebel against through words or behavior.
September 3, 2026 at 1:19 PM
Too many times a parent has called enmeshment a close relationship with their child. Enmeshment shows up as control,or emotional manipulation that the child starts to rebel against through words or behavior.
Shame is the emotion that makes you feel unlovable, worthless and exacerbated the emptiness of loneliness. It’s what makes excuses or lies and never takes responsibility. When you don’t understand this, your behavior will speak the shame you are holding.
September 2, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Shame is the emotion that makes you feel unlovable, worthless and exacerbated the emptiness of loneliness. It’s what makes excuses or lies and never takes responsibility. When you don’t understand this, your behavior will speak the shame you are holding.
A forgetful person is not trying to anger you, but avoid things that make them feel overwhelmed or inadequate. They have a critical voice that tells them they will do it wrong. This fear (shame) make them avoid and/or procrastinate.
August 31, 2026 at 1:29 PM
A forgetful person is not trying to anger you, but avoid things that make them feel overwhelmed or inadequate. They have a critical voice that tells them they will do it wrong. This fear (shame) make them avoid and/or procrastinate.
Loss is a moment of unpredictable change. We don’t know when it will happen and that lack of control can leave us wanting to control other aspects of our lives. This can cause childhood loss of a parents love or approval left wanting remind us of the weakness of not feeling good enough.
August 28, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Loss is a moment of unpredictable change. We don’t know when it will happen and that lack of control can leave us wanting to control other aspects of our lives. This can cause childhood loss of a parents love or approval left wanting remind us of the weakness of not feeling good enough.
You will never do enough for someone to make them love you. There aren’t enough things you can buy them or words you can say. The abyss your words and actions fill are temporary and last seconds. When you finally decide to turn that effort on yourself, you’ll be too exhausted.
August 27, 2026 at 1:17 PM
You will never do enough for someone to make them love you. There aren’t enough things you can buy them or words you can say. The abyss your words and actions fill are temporary and last seconds. When you finally decide to turn that effort on yourself, you’ll be too exhausted.
Words like belonging and attachment were not meant solely for connection to the ideal parent, friend or belonging to a group that loves you for your authentic self. Those words apply to the groups whose connection is based on lying, exploitation, and extreme violence.
August 25, 2026 at 1:16 PM
Words like belonging and attachment were not meant solely for connection to the ideal parent, friend or belonging to a group that loves you for your authentic self. Those words apply to the groups whose connection is based on lying, exploitation, and extreme violence.
The patterns of interaction you notice with those around you reveal your childhood whether it is being abused, pleasing others, or avoiding intimacy. Those patterns are happening for a reason. They ask that you have the courage to heal.
August 24, 2026 at 1:24 PM
The patterns of interaction you notice with those around you reveal your childhood whether it is being abused, pleasing others, or avoiding intimacy. Those patterns are happening for a reason. They ask that you have the courage to heal.
The past is viewed from the perspective of the child. It is in part why our memory is one of powerlessness and helplessness. Good trauma work is asking you to observe the child to become the hero of your own story. A lie does not produce healing, but the truth will set you free.
August 21, 2026 at 1:36 PM
The past is viewed from the perspective of the child. It is in part why our memory is one of powerlessness and helplessness. Good trauma work is asking you to observe the child to become the hero of your own story. A lie does not produce healing, but the truth will set you free.
Feedback can come in the way of criticism or kindness. To know the difference you would have to feel it in your body. You cannot do this when your body perceives everything as criticism. This is what excellent trauma therapy helps you do. It helps your body be your trusted guide.
August 20, 2026 at 1:42 PM
Feedback can come in the way of criticism or kindness. To know the difference you would have to feel it in your body. You cannot do this when your body perceives everything as criticism. This is what excellent trauma therapy helps you do. It helps your body be your trusted guide.
The intense need for distraction or escape stems from not listening to the core body sensation or thought that is dysregulating. That feeling is trying to talk to you. You will not be able to heal without listening.
August 18, 2026 at 12:29 PM
The intense need for distraction or escape stems from not listening to the core body sensation or thought that is dysregulating. That feeling is trying to talk to you. You will not be able to heal without listening.
Some of the fear with discussing emotions is the vulnerability of admitting that someone you tried so hard to be perfect for, could not see your lovability in even the most smallest of ways. This is the heaviness of sadness that seems to hover.
August 17, 2026 at 12:48 PM
Some of the fear with discussing emotions is the vulnerability of admitting that someone you tried so hard to be perfect for, could not see your lovability in even the most smallest of ways. This is the heaviness of sadness that seems to hover.
Parents who use kids to stay together end up teaching them how little their needs matter. I’m sure there might be some way to do this properly that inspires them, but it would require your transparency. Without that, the courage to change becomes even harder in a legacy of fear.
August 14, 2026 at 1:44 PM
Parents who use kids to stay together end up teaching them how little their needs matter. I’m sure there might be some way to do this properly that inspires them, but it would require your transparency. Without that, the courage to change becomes even harder in a legacy of fear.
A child’s why is a desire to understand the way you treat them. They have been trying to make sense of how the family works and how you are “loving” them since they were born. You only think it starts in teen years because that’s when they start giving up.
August 13, 2026 at 1:39 PM
A child’s why is a desire to understand the way you treat them. They have been trying to make sense of how the family works and how you are “loving” them since they were born. You only think it starts in teen years because that’s when they start giving up.
Needing reminders that you are an amazing, beautiful or smart person only works when you actually know this is true. When your shame is bottomless, you don’t believe you are capable of anything good so you can’t really take it in. This is an example of what I work on with my clients.
August 12, 2026 at 2:14 PM
Needing reminders that you are an amazing, beautiful or smart person only works when you actually know this is true. When your shame is bottomless, you don’t believe you are capable of anything good so you can’t really take it in. This is an example of what I work on with my clients.
Help can be used to control others by making them feel like they can’t do it. They become dependent instead independent. When you have to offer help repeatedly and there is no growth in where you are helping then, maybe its time to realize your help is more of a hindrance.
August 11, 2026 at 1:26 PM
Help can be used to control others by making them feel like they can’t do it. They become dependent instead independent. When you have to offer help repeatedly and there is no growth in where you are helping then, maybe its time to realize your help is more of a hindrance.
We use fear to set up the fence to keep us safe, but we forget that the neuroscience will keep resetting what makes us afraid. So the space gets smaller and smaller. Until you have felt the victory and freedom of overcoming your fear, you are just going to keep using it wrong.
August 10, 2026 at 1:46 PM
We use fear to set up the fence to keep us safe, but we forget that the neuroscience will keep resetting what makes us afraid. So the space gets smaller and smaller. Until you have felt the victory and freedom of overcoming your fear, you are just going to keep using it wrong.
When we are asked to do things that are developmentally appropriate, we are often ready and so less frightened. You know you are not ready when it feels so terrifying to do the task. It is as if you were a toddler being asked to drive, go get a job or have a child.
August 7, 2026 at 2:38 PM
When we are asked to do things that are developmentally appropriate, we are often ready and so less frightened. You know you are not ready when it feels so terrifying to do the task. It is as if you were a toddler being asked to drive, go get a job or have a child.
We all want to be seen and heard and know we matter.
This was never your parent’s job. It’s always been yours.
This was never your parent’s job. It’s always been yours.
August 6, 2026 at 2:00 PM
We all want to be seen and heard and know we matter.
This was never your parent’s job. It’s always been yours.
This was never your parent’s job. It’s always been yours.