touchwoods.bsky.social
@touchwoods.bsky.social
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Your Grandad Cyclops talks about his school days
September 16, 2026 at 1:43 PM
Your Grandad Cyclops talks about his school days
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If the rationalist dweebs developing Ai think there's a good chance that it's going to wipe out humanity then basic game theory dictates that the logical course of action for the rest of us would be to [manuscript breaks off]
September 11, 2026 at 12:18 AM
If the rationalist dweebs developing Ai think there's a good chance that it's going to wipe out humanity then basic game theory dictates that the logical course of action for the rest of us would be to [manuscript breaks off]
Reposted by touchwoods.bsky.social
Reposted by touchwoods.bsky.social
Full-cal sodas are empty calories but charged with positive spiritual energy. Conversely, each time I drink a Coke Zero I know the ease of infinite consumption has put me on a dark and twisted path. “A vice with no consequences is no vice—it is the sandbox of cowards” - the Buddha i think
August 26, 2026 at 5:23 AM
Full-cal sodas are empty calories but charged with positive spiritual energy. Conversely, each time I drink a Coke Zero I know the ease of infinite consumption has put me on a dark and twisted path. “A vice with no consequences is no vice—it is the sandbox of cowards” - the Buddha i think
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I love when fantasy series have a dude called something like Stephen the All-Seeing, Keeper of the Demon Sword, hero of the Volcano Age. But in some tiny village, he's known as Bees Steve, that weird guy who loves beekeeping. The more uppercase titles the legend has, the funnier the contrast is.
August 21, 2026 at 1:14 AM
I love when fantasy series have a dude called something like Stephen the All-Seeing, Keeper of the Demon Sword, hero of the Volcano Age. But in some tiny village, he's known as Bees Steve, that weird guy who loves beekeeping. The more uppercase titles the legend has, the funnier the contrast is.
Just had coffee with a seagull. Well, he drank fresh rainwater pooling in the gutter (I had a matcha latte).
June 11, 2026 at 3:39 AM
Just had coffee with a seagull. Well, he drank fresh rainwater pooling in the gutter (I had a matcha latte).
A French woman walking a toy poodle meets a man with his own poodle. "Ah! We 'ave met relatives!"
June 9, 2026 at 3:15 AM
A French woman walking a toy poodle meets a man with his own poodle. "Ah! We 'ave met relatives!"
Elderly pair at a cafe bench table reading a large print Bible on a shared mobile, agreeing politely on the timeline of Jesus' various transitions between man and angel, and which ranks he occupied.
June 8, 2026 at 5:06 AM
Elderly pair at a cafe bench table reading a large print Bible on a shared mobile, agreeing politely on the timeline of Jesus' various transitions between man and angel, and which ranks he occupied.
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when you see only one set of footprints in the sand it was there that I buried the body
June 4, 2026 at 8:30 PM
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand it was there that I buried the body
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Social Media in 2035
May 11, 2026 at 5:02 PM
Social Media in 2035
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Oops! You accidentally forgot about your tea for too long 🐥🌸
April 27, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Oops! You accidentally forgot about your tea for too long 🐥🌸
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This kind of mixed use urban planning is illegal in America
April 30, 2026 at 3:26 AM
This kind of mixed use urban planning is illegal in America
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Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.
April 23, 2026 at 6:37 AM
Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.
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It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly
Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way
Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way
April 18, 2026 at 3:04 PM
It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly
Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way
Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way
Reposted by touchwoods.bsky.social
Reposted by touchwoods.bsky.social
Every night I must tune into the gurgling of the bog to go to sleep and every night my Orc husband must drown it out with the sound of his incessant trudging and scraping of his stone club along the ground 😒
March 19, 2026 at 12:41 PM
Every night I must tune into the gurgling of the bog to go to sleep and every night my Orc husband must drown it out with the sound of his incessant trudging and scraping of his stone club along the ground 😒
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If I ever get the chance to play another bard or rockerboy or whatever, the chances that it'll be based on Afroman are rising by the day.
March 19, 2026 at 5:21 AM
If I ever get the chance to play another bard or rockerboy or whatever, the chances that it'll be based on Afroman are rising by the day.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a kangaroo named Jeffrey
March 17, 2026 at 4:55 AM
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a kangaroo named Jeffrey
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autoerotic defenestration
March 14, 2026 at 2:42 AM
autoerotic defenestration
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We’re all living in the first third of every Tom Clancy novel at once but written by Dan Brown.
March 12, 2026 at 4:02 AM
We’re all living in the first third of every Tom Clancy novel at once but written by Dan Brown.
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Chekhov's gun - An Extension...
March 11, 2026 at 12:30 PM
Chekhov's gun - An Extension...
Reposted by touchwoods.bsky.social
Lovecraft’s Gun:
If in the first act you have hung a gun on the wall, then in the following one it should be thrown at the inhuman monstrosity after being emptied at it with zero effect. Otherwise don't put it there.
If in the first act you have hung a gun on the wall, then in the following one it should be thrown at the inhuman monstrosity after being emptied at it with zero effect. Otherwise don't put it there.
Chekhov's gun - An Extension...
March 11, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Lovecraft’s Gun:
If in the first act you have hung a gun on the wall, then in the following one it should be thrown at the inhuman monstrosity after being emptied at it with zero effect. Otherwise don't put it there.
If in the first act you have hung a gun on the wall, then in the following one it should be thrown at the inhuman monstrosity after being emptied at it with zero effect. Otherwise don't put it there.