@unfunnymeme.bsky.social
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i thought about this old tweet tonight and how nothing has ever aged better
September 30, 2026 at 4:21 AM
i thought about this old tweet tonight and how nothing has ever aged better
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It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots.
September 18, 2026 at 5:59 PM
It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots.
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[Benoit Blanc during a Reacher Christmas episode crossover] Listen, son, I myself am of the conviction that violence is the crude weapon of an incurious mind, but I will admit that my gigantic friend here makes the most convincing argument I've yet heard on the virtues of expediency through force.
[benoit blanc in true detective] now i know you think time is a flat circle, but if i may, you’re thinking of a clock
[benoit blanc in twin peaks] lordy there’s a burrito lookin girl on the beach
September 6, 2026 at 6:48 PM
[Benoit Blanc during a Reacher Christmas episode crossover] Listen, son, I myself am of the conviction that violence is the crude weapon of an incurious mind, but I will admit that my gigantic friend here makes the most convincing argument I've yet heard on the virtues of expediency through force.
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More & more people in my social circle are openly referencing using ai, "asking Claude" etc & I am so fired up to be an unremitting hater about this, maybe I'll wind up with no friends but at least I'll be able to write a goddamn sentence.
September 3, 2026 at 2:52 PM
More & more people in my social circle are openly referencing using ai, "asking Claude" etc & I am so fired up to be an unremitting hater about this, maybe I'll wind up with no friends but at least I'll be able to write a goddamn sentence.
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If you were King Solomon
And I was a lady
Would you marry me anyway
Would you halve my baby
And I was a lady
Would you marry me anyway
Would you halve my baby
August 12, 2026 at 10:13 PM
If you were King Solomon
And I was a lady
Would you marry me anyway
Would you halve my baby
And I was a lady
Would you marry me anyway
Would you halve my baby
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My wife says I remind her of James Bond. I’m not good at following orders, I’m emotionally dead, and she’d like to see the role go to Idris Elba.
July 11, 2026 at 4:11 PM
My wife says I remind her of James Bond. I’m not good at following orders, I’m emotionally dead, and she’d like to see the role go to Idris Elba.
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why is he called Garfield and not Pasta Fussycat
July 9, 2026 at 5:36 PM
why is he called Garfield and not Pasta Fussycat
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The Brefekst Club (2018)
December 18, 2024 at 4:32 AM
The Brefekst Club (2018)
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It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here?
What better time than now?
It has to start sometime
What better place than here?
What better time than now?
June 8, 2026 at 12:25 PM
It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here?
What better time than now?
It has to start sometime
What better place than here?
What better time than now?
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I ORDER MY COFFEE BLACK. NO SUGAR. NO MILK. NO WATER. NO CUP. THEY HAND ME THE BEANS. I EAT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT LIKE A HORSE. THE BARISTAS HAVE STOPPED CHARGING ME. I HAVE NOT SLEPT SINCE TUESDAY. I CAN HEAR THE WIFI
May 15, 2026 at 5:52 PM
I ORDER MY COFFEE BLACK. NO SUGAR. NO MILK. NO WATER. NO CUP. THEY HAND ME THE BEANS. I EAT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT LIKE A HORSE. THE BARISTAS HAVE STOPPED CHARGING ME. I HAVE NOT SLEPT SINCE TUESDAY. I CAN HEAR THE WIFI
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I love baseball because you’re allowed to be an insufferable bitch whenever someone breaks your unspoken rules of etiquette and then you can try to kill them.
May 11, 2026 at 5:31 PM
I love baseball because you’re allowed to be an insufferable bitch whenever someone breaks your unspoken rules of etiquette and then you can try to kill them.
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The “veil” isn’t “thin” behind the Red Lobster you’ve just had 2 White Monsters, a Celsius, 3 nicotine pouches and a dozen hits off your Penjamin and never ate breakfast
May 1, 2026 at 7:18 PM
The “veil” isn’t “thin” behind the Red Lobster you’ve just had 2 White Monsters, a Celsius, 3 nicotine pouches and a dozen hits off your Penjamin and never ate breakfast
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Happy Rex Manning Day to all those who celebrate.
April 8, 2026 at 4:54 PM
Happy Rex Manning Day to all those who celebrate.
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Once again, if the billionaire tech bros were actually *trying* to get us all to drag them out of their mansions to beat them to death with hammers, I'm not sure what they'd be doing differently.
March 18, 2026 at 3:58 PM
Once again, if the billionaire tech bros were actually *trying* to get us all to drag them out of their mansions to beat them to death with hammers, I'm not sure what they'd be doing differently.
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Nintendo added a new pokemon named Kevin. They look like a normal middle-aged human man and insist they’re not pokemon
Kevin can talk, he says things like “I’m human, you gotta believe me” and “This is a mistake! Don’t make me battle a Charizard.” Flocks of Kevins can be found roaming in tall grass
Kevin can talk, he says things like “I’m human, you gotta believe me” and “This is a mistake! Don’t make me battle a Charizard.” Flocks of Kevins can be found roaming in tall grass
November 3, 2023 at 2:38 PM
Nintendo added a new pokemon named Kevin. They look like a normal middle-aged human man and insist they’re not pokemon
Kevin can talk, he says things like “I’m human, you gotta believe me” and “This is a mistake! Don’t make me battle a Charizard.” Flocks of Kevins can be found roaming in tall grass
Kevin can talk, he says things like “I’m human, you gotta believe me” and “This is a mistake! Don’t make me battle a Charizard.” Flocks of Kevins can be found roaming in tall grass
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When someone says „Scientists do not want you to know“ you can dismiss everything from there on. Scientists want you to know. They are desperate that you know. They can’t shut up about what they found out and want you to know.
March 3, 2026 at 12:10 PM
When someone says „Scientists do not want you to know“ you can dismiss everything from there on. Scientists want you to know. They are desperate that you know. They can’t shut up about what they found out and want you to know.
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why are they called the US Olympic Men's Ice Hockey Team and not the Mighty Milkshake Ducks
February 23, 2026 at 7:52 PM
why are they called the US Olympic Men's Ice Hockey Team and not the Mighty Milkshake Ducks
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Rental Family (2025) /
ALPS (2011)
ALPS (2011)
February 19, 2026 at 3:17 AM
Rental Family (2025) /
ALPS (2011)
ALPS (2011)