i am a bit concerend since i started to notice small changes in my physical apperance lately. i do not really look fit and vitalized anymore. my face looks a bit "worn" or "tired" if that makes sense. i really need to go out more, drink more and stop some unhealthy habits.

at this point i've completely given up on finding someone. my last "relationship" i had back in, i think 2017? yeah, i am not made for this and any further effort id make regarding that would be pointless.

i rather be emotinally distant, keep certain emotions to myself rather than being hurt again.

i hate my country for being so goddamn stupid and non-supportive towards people with mental problems. our health system, selection of therapeutic support specifically, is absolute garbage. i am able to hold up with things often, but the times i am not, i wish id have a little external support.

i have tried to get professional help with certain things but i keep getting rejected. our health system is a dumb piece of shit and they can all go fuck themselves, really. so yeah, there is literally no other way for me than managing things myself. as hard as it is.

sometimes life is making me feel very tired. no idea how i manage to hold up every single day