Smegma Bish Up
@wittymoniker.bsky.social
If you know what an Airbus PTU sounds like then let’s be friends. 30 somethin nerd. Star Trek, MTG:Arena, X-Men, Car Gay. Commercial aviation enthusiast. Don't be a jerk. Drink water. Sleep a lot. Gimme ur dad's phone number. 🐻💤🏳️🌈
OH MY GOOOOODDDDDD
September 16, 2026 at 2:38 AM
OH MY GOOOOODDDDDD
Anyway, fell off the gym wagon again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
September 15, 2026 at 1:37 AM
Anyway, fell off the gym wagon again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Apple Watch hasn’t tracked any of my workouts this week and I don’t know how to go back and add them
August 20, 2026 at 7:14 PM
Apple Watch hasn’t tracked any of my workouts this week and I don’t know how to go back and add them
“Do you use fountain pens?”
“Yes! How did you know?”
*meanwhile, my hands*
“Yes! How did you know?”
*meanwhile, my hands*
July 28, 2026 at 11:08 PM
“Do you use fountain pens?”
“Yes! How did you know?”
*meanwhile, my hands*
“Yes! How did you know?”
*meanwhile, my hands*
I’m gonna put a bunch of gay stickers on my Yeti so when I go to the gym people know I’m a PHAGGUETTE
July 2, 2026 at 2:49 AM
I’m gonna put a bunch of gay stickers on my Yeti so when I go to the gym people know I’m a PHAGGUETTE
I mean, maybe I’ll just move back to Manchester ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Abby Lee Miller Dance Moms
ALT: Abby Lee Miller Dance Moms
static.klipy.com
June 30, 2026 at 8:56 PM
I mean, maybe I’ll just move back to Manchester ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Back in the gym after a very long time and when I tell you I busted my ass riding a bike until my legs were jelly and only burned 100 calories and I looked at the bike like
June 17, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Back in the gym after a very long time and when I tell you I busted my ass riding a bike until my legs were jelly and only burned 100 calories and I looked at the bike like
I think if I saw Björk live I would actually cry tbh
May 29, 2026 at 4:38 PM
I think if I saw Björk live I would actually cry tbh
Quick question for people that drive around with their windows open and their volume at maximum. Have you ever considered playing good music for a change?
May 25, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Quick question for people that drive around with their windows open and their volume at maximum. Have you ever considered playing good music for a change?
When bodybuilders go from bulking to cutting
a man with long hair is standing in front of a group of people in armor .
ALT: a man with long hair is standing in front of a group of people in armor .
media.tenor.com
April 28, 2026 at 5:22 PM
When bodybuilders go from bulking to cutting
[At the orgy] Me: “Where the fat dudes at?!”
[At the orgy] *me in the kitchen petting the dog…*
[At the orgy] The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
April 12, 2026 at 2:31 AM
[At the orgy] Me: “Where the fat dudes at?!”
Omg Blue Collar men are so fucking hot. Coming home all sweaty and covered in grease and motor oil. Hands all rough from working with them all day. Like, babes come rub ur stink on me
a woman in a black dress is smiling in front of a river
ALT: a woman in a black dress is smiling in front of a river
media.tenor.com
April 10, 2026 at 8:26 PM
Omg Blue Collar men are so fucking hot. Coming home all sweaty and covered in grease and motor oil. Hands all rough from working with them all day. Like, babes come rub ur stink on me
Me: I never really cared for Neelix.
Also me: *cries during his last episode*
Also me: *cries during his last episode*
March 27, 2026 at 1:13 AM
Me: I never really cared for Neelix.
Also me: *cries during his last episode*
Also me: *cries during his last episode*
Crushing on a guy on TikTok Live and he says he’s a strict top but has the fattest ass.
a pixel art drawing of a green frog wearing sunglasses
ALT: a pixel art drawing of a green frog wearing sunglasses
media.tenor.com
February 26, 2026 at 9:25 PM
Crushing on a guy on TikTok Live and he says he’s a strict top but has the fattest ass.
I don’t get it. One day I was 26 and today I turned 40. 🫠
February 19, 2026 at 9:50 PM
I don’t get it. One day I was 26 and today I turned 40. 🫠
AMEX really said “thank you for being a 20 year card holder, we’re doubling your limit”
a woman carrying shopping bags on a sidewalk with a sephora sign behind her
ALT: a woman carrying shopping bags on a sidewalk with a sephora sign behind her
media.tenor.com
February 12, 2026 at 4:24 AM
AMEX really said “thank you for being a 20 year card holder, we’re doubling your limit”
You people need to stop recording strangers and posting them on social media.
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Keep them on your phone like a normal creep.
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Keep them on your phone like a normal creep.
February 9, 2026 at 7:39 PM
You people need to stop recording strangers and posting them on social media.
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Keep them on your phone like a normal creep.
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Keep them on your phone like a normal creep.
Yeah I’ll never understand people that aren’t bothered by this. I wanted to scream.
February 6, 2026 at 5:33 PM
Yeah I’ll never understand people that aren’t bothered by this. I wanted to scream.
Seeing the X-Men Doomsday leak has rekindled my love for Cyclops. I know I’m late but I’m finally reading the comics that focus on his character and it has really solidified my love for him.
December 31, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Seeing the X-Men Doomsday leak has rekindled my love for Cyclops. I know I’m late but I’m finally reading the comics that focus on his character and it has really solidified my love for him.
Someone buy me this for Christmas. 🥲
December 3, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Someone buy me this for Christmas. 🥲
Oooh I can join in with the butcher stuff too! 😜
5 Cars I’ve owned: (photo edition)
1988 Honda Accord (first car)
2004 Saturn Ion
2012 Hyundai Sonata GLS (not pictured)
2016 Hyundai Sonata Sport
2021 Hyundai Sonata N-Line
5 Cars I’ve owned: (photo edition)
1988 Honda Accord (first car)
2004 Saturn Ion
2012 Hyundai Sonata GLS (not pictured)
2016 Hyundai Sonata Sport
2021 Hyundai Sonata N-Line
November 30, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Oooh I can join in with the butcher stuff too! 😜
5 Cars I’ve owned: (photo edition)
1988 Honda Accord (first car)
2004 Saturn Ion
2012 Hyundai Sonata GLS (not pictured)
2016 Hyundai Sonata Sport
2021 Hyundai Sonata N-Line
5 Cars I’ve owned: (photo edition)
1988 Honda Accord (first car)
2004 Saturn Ion
2012 Hyundai Sonata GLS (not pictured)
2016 Hyundai Sonata Sport
2021 Hyundai Sonata N-Line
I wish people would stop telling people with small asses to just do squats. I want a FAT ass not a HARD ass.
November 24, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I wish people would stop telling people with small asses to just do squats. I want a FAT ass not a HARD ass.
It’s not Friday but I still wanna participate. My 5 drop has gotta be
November 18, 2025 at 5:02 PM
It’s not Friday but I still wanna participate. My 5 drop has gotta be
The subreddit I created just hit 100k subscribers and it feels really awesome to have made a space that so many other people enjoy but nobody knows I’m the one behind it lmao
a man with a mustache is laughing with his mouth open while sitting in front of a camera .
ALT: a man with a mustache is laughing with his mouth open while sitting in front of a camera .
media.tenor.com
November 8, 2025 at 10:41 PM
The subreddit I created just hit 100k subscribers and it feels really awesome to have made a space that so many other people enjoy but nobody knows I’m the one behind it lmao