The markets know the difference.
May 1, 2025 at 5:42 PM
The markets know the difference.
Markets react to black woman winning country Grammy.
February 3, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Markets react to black woman winning country Grammy.
Money and markets, y'all. It's your superpower.
February 19, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Money and markets, y'all. It's your superpower.
Do Markets Value Fed Independence? An Event Study.
July 16, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Do Markets Value Fed Independence? An Event Study.
And like clockwork… markets close, back to bombing Iran
June 26, 2026 at 8:50 PM
And like clockwork… markets close, back to bombing Iran
free markets babyyyy!!!!!
i can’t believe all it took for tesla stock to recover a bit was to do a paid photo op with the president of the united states, have the government designate vandalism on teslas as terrorism, gift multiple politicians and police stations teslas for photo ops, and get corrupt government contracts
March 27, 2025 at 1:10 AM
free markets babyyyy!!!!!
just in time for the markets to open! it's a Sunday miracle!
August 3, 2026 at 3:58 AM
just in time for the markets to open! it's a Sunday miracle!
Obama: Markets boom
Biden: Markets boom
Trump: Markets go “boom!”
Biden: Markets boom
Trump: Markets go “boom!”
April 7, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Obama: Markets boom
Biden: Markets boom
Trump: Markets go “boom!”
Biden: Markets boom
Trump: Markets go “boom!”
Minnesota Becomes First State to Ban Prediction Markets, Feds Immediately Sue gizmodo.com/minnesota-be...
Minnesota Becomes First State to Ban Prediction Markets, Feds Immediately Sue
The CFTC has sued several states that have tried to regulate prediction markets at the local level.
gizmodo.com
May 19, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Minnesota Becomes First State to Ban Prediction Markets, Feds Immediately Sue gizmodo.com/minnesota-be...
In the next 4 to 5 hours financial markets in Asia will open and we will learn … something.
February 2, 2025 at 9:22 PM
In the next 4 to 5 hours financial markets in Asia will open and we will learn … something.
i expect the markets to have a totally chill reaction to this
March 2, 2025 at 10:04 PM
i expect the markets to have a totally chill reaction to this
Markets are *very* unhappy about developments in Iran.
March 9, 2026 at 1:03 AM
Markets are *very* unhappy about developments in Iran.
The betting markets never anticipated “meathead dying” as the potential last straw.
December 16, 2025 at 12:19 PM
The betting markets never anticipated “meathead dying” as the potential last straw.
Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel https://theonion.com/markets-surge-after-trump-claims-he-had-sex-with-an-angel/
March 24, 2026 at 3:15 PM
Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel https://theonion.com/markets-surge-after-trump-claims-he-had-sex-with-an-angel/
Ah, yes, the invaluable wisdom of the markets.
March 4, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Ah, yes, the invaluable wisdom of the markets.
Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar http://theonion.com/markets-in-turmoil-as-price-of-money-skyrockets-to-90-1819575197/
March 9, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar http://theonion.com/markets-in-turmoil-as-price-of-money-skyrockets-to-90-1819575197/
Right before the markets open for the week. Like clockwork.
April 13, 2026 at 12:13 PM
Right before the markets open for the week. Like clockwork.
The stock markets tanked so hard this week many people even lost their daylight savings.
March 9, 2025 at 3:05 PM
The stock markets tanked so hard this week many people even lost their daylight savings.
JUST IN: The New York State Department of Agriculture and Markets just announced that it is implementing new testing requirements for all poultry entering New York’s live bird markets.
February 20, 2025 at 1:20 PM
JUST IN: The New York State Department of Agriculture and Markets just announced that it is implementing new testing requirements for all poultry entering New York’s live bird markets.
There is absolutely no reason for prediction markets to exist. None.
Source after source told 60 Minutes they fear today’s insider trading scandal about military secrets is tomorrow’s national security scandal. If market-watchers can spot irregular trades, surely enemies can, too. And they’ll make their war plans accordingly. cbsn.ws/4uSxuCf
May 17, 2026 at 11:42 PM
There is absolutely no reason for prediction markets to exist. None.
If anyone can give farmers access to international markets its the guy who closed off access to international markets
Joni Ernst: "Unfortunately, our farmers do need that assistance. They don't like it. They consider it welfare. They want trade, not aid. So we really need to see some of these new markets opening up around the globe ... but if there's anybody that can make a deal, it's President Trump."
October 3, 2025 at 1:38 PM
If anyone can give farmers access to international markets its the guy who closed off access to international markets
Oh, fantastic—Rubio says ‘economies aren’t crashing, markets are crashing.’ What a relief!
April 4, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Oh, fantastic—Rubio says ‘economies aren’t crashing, markets are crashing.’ What a relief!
Betting markets just dipped out on Cuomo. Zohran at 98% on Polymarket.
November 5, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Betting markets just dipped out on Cuomo. Zohran at 98% on Polymarket.
BREAKING: the markets
September 10, 2026 at 2:23 PM
BREAKING: the markets
Magical thinking does not persuade bond markets
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent tells CBS that the tax bill won't increase the deficit because:
- Tariffs will bring in $2 trillion
- Admin will find $1 trillion in "savings" (presumably DOGE-style)
- Trump has a "prescription drug plan with the pharmaceutical companies" that will save another $1t
- Tariffs will bring in $2 trillion
- Admin will find $1 trillion in "savings" (presumably DOGE-style)
- Trump has a "prescription drug plan with the pharmaceutical companies" that will save another $1t
June 1, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Magical thinking does not persuade bond markets