You know what's scarier than the Pentagon having a secret drone program?
A blackout drunk in charge of the Pentagon having a drone program.
A blackout drunk in charge of the Pentagon having a drone program.
December 19, 2024 at 1:27 AM
You know what's scarier than the Pentagon having a secret drone program?
A blackout drunk in charge of the Pentagon having a drone program.
A blackout drunk in charge of the Pentagon having a drone program.
Nothing says “lead the Pentagon” like mommy making phone calls for her very good boy.
December 4, 2024 at 6:55 PM
Nothing says “lead the Pentagon” like mommy making phone calls for her very good boy.
They should put a breathalyzer lock on Hegseth’s pentagon office door.
January 14, 2025 at 5:47 PM
They should put a breathalyzer lock on Hegseth’s pentagon office door.
Pentagon Warns China Developing Love, The Greatest Weapon Of All
theonion.com/pentago...
theonion.com/pentago...
January 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Pentagon Warns China Developing Love, The Greatest Weapon Of All
theonion.com/pentago...
theonion.com/pentago...
they hit the fucking pentagon
September 11, 2001 at 2:37 PM
they hit the fucking pentagon
Outstanding reporting today from the New Media at the Pentagon.
December 4, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Outstanding reporting today from the New Media at the Pentagon.
BREAKING: Adolescent teenage boys have taken over the Pentagon.
February 28, 2026 at 9:11 AM
BREAKING: Adolescent teenage boys have taken over the Pentagon.
Burning down the pentagon is a weird goal for the guy who runs the pentagon
Rep. Ronny Jackson on Hegseth: "They fear him because he's gonna go in there and burn the place down."
January 15, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Burning down the pentagon is a weird goal for the guy who runs the pentagon
Laura Loomer is now officially part of the Pentagon press corps.
We live in Idiocracy.
We live in Idiocracy.
November 4, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Laura Loomer is now officially part of the Pentagon press corps.
We live in Idiocracy.
We live in Idiocracy.
Pentagon Blames Venezuela For Flow Of Drugs Into Kash Patel https://theonion.com/pentagon-blames-venezuela-for-flow-of-drugs-into-kash-patel/
November 18, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Pentagon Blames Venezuela For Flow Of Drugs Into Kash Patel https://theonion.com/pentagon-blames-venezuela-for-flow-of-drugs-into-kash-patel/
All those former Pentagon reporters should cover No Kings today 🚫👑
October 18, 2025 at 2:56 PM
All those former Pentagon reporters should cover No Kings today 🚫👑
The Clown Show at the Pentagon continues.
September 26, 2025 at 6:29 PM
The Clown Show at the Pentagon continues.
The Pentagon reporters who have been kicked out of the building continue to break huge stories every day while the right-wing New Media continue to post selfies of themselves hanging out in the Pentagon.
December 2, 2025 at 1:48 PM
The Pentagon reporters who have been kicked out of the building continue to break huge stories every day while the right-wing New Media continue to post selfies of themselves hanging out in the Pentagon.
The Pentagon will fire 5,400 civilian workers next week.
February 21, 2025 at 11:33 PM
The Pentagon will fire 5,400 civilian workers next week.
Palantir Acquires Pentagon For $800 Billion https://theonion.com/palantir-acquires-pentagon-for-800-billion/
June 30, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Palantir Acquires Pentagon For $800 Billion https://theonion.com/palantir-acquires-pentagon-for-800-billion/
“I’ll stop drinking if you let me run the Pentagon” is maybe the most alcoholic thing anyone has ever said
December 5, 2024 at 2:38 AM
“I’ll stop drinking if you let me run the Pentagon” is maybe the most alcoholic thing anyone has ever said
A Pentagon-wide advisory that went out one week ago warns against using the Signal, the messaging app, even for unclassified information.
A Pentagon-wide email recently went out warning about Signal's vulnerability
A Pentagon-wide advisory that went out one week ago warns against using the Signal, the messaging app, even for unclassified information.
www.npr.org
March 25, 2025 at 5:08 PM
A Pentagon-wide advisory that went out one week ago warns against using the Signal, the messaging app, even for unclassified information.
PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL
November 29, 2025 at 11:17 PM
PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER ISNT REAL
But sure, put this guy in charge of The Pentagon
December 2, 2024 at 8:35 PM
But sure, put this guy in charge of The Pentagon
Could the last principled person leaving the Pentagon install a breathalyzer test to unlock our missile silos?
Please and thank you.
Please and thank you.
January 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Could the last principled person leaving the Pentagon install a breathalyzer test to unlock our missile silos?
Please and thank you.
Please and thank you.
Trump’s new Chief Pentagon Spokesman
February 4, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Trump’s new Chief Pentagon Spokesman
He’s going to the Pentagon instead. So, he’s not completely silenced… but he SHOULD be.
August 30, 2026 at 1:03 PM
He’s going to the Pentagon instead. So, he’s not completely silenced… but he SHOULD be.
Pentagon Blames Venezuela For Flow Of Drugs Into Kash Patel
Pentagon Blames Venezuela For Flow Of Drugs Into Kash Patel
WASHINGTON—Calling the national crisis “a complete justification” for additional airstrikes on boats purportedly trafficking narcotics, the Pentagon issued a statement Tuesday blaming Venezuela for th...
theonion.com
November 23, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Pentagon Blames Venezuela For Flow Of Drugs Into Kash Patel
I do believe that PPP fraud and Pentagon spending really need to be audited
February 7, 2025 at 9:11 PM
I do believe that PPP fraud and Pentagon spending really need to be audited
Mark Kelly knows: if you want to win, you have to fight back.
https://www.navytimes.com/news/pentagon-congress/2026/01/12/kelly-sues-pentagon-over-attempts-to-punish-him/
https://www.navytimes.com/news/pentagon-congress/2026/01/12/kelly-sues-pentagon-over-attempts-to-punish-him/
Kelly sues Pentagon over attempts to punish him
Democratic Sen. Mark Kelly sued the Pentagon on Monday over attempts to punish him for his warnings about illegal orders.
www.navytimes.com
January 12, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Mark Kelly knows: if you want to win, you have to fight back.
https://www.navytimes.com/news/pentagon-congress/2026/01/12/kelly-sues-pentagon-over-attempts-to-punish-him/
https://www.navytimes.com/news/pentagon-congress/2026/01/12/kelly-sues-pentagon-over-attempts-to-punish-him/