[12yo, cooking with his mom]
12yo: On no, I burned it.
Me: Burned it? Sounds like something Zuko would do.
12yo: [Rolls eyes]
Me: Oh come on, that was a good reference.
12yo: It was so terrible it sounds like something his dad would say
Wife: [laughs]
12yo: See. THAT was a good reference.
12yo: On no, I burned it.
Me: Burned it? Sounds like something Zuko would do.
12yo: [Rolls eyes]
Me: Oh come on, that was a good reference.
12yo: It was so terrible it sounds like something his dad would say
Wife: [laughs]
12yo: See. THAT was a good reference.
March 26, 2025 at 12:40 AM
[12yo, cooking with his mom]
12yo: On no, I burned it.
Me: Burned it? Sounds like something Zuko would do.
12yo: [Rolls eyes]
Me: Oh come on, that was a good reference.
12yo: It was so terrible it sounds like something his dad would say
Wife: [laughs]
12yo: See. THAT was a good reference.
12yo: On no, I burned it.
Me: Burned it? Sounds like something Zuko would do.
12yo: [Rolls eyes]
Me: Oh come on, that was a good reference.
12yo: It was so terrible it sounds like something his dad would say
Wife: [laughs]
12yo: See. THAT was a good reference.
12yo: That’s the guy from the Minecraft movie trailer.
Me: Did you just refer to Jason Momoa as “the guy from the MINECRAFT movie??”
12yo: Yes?
Me: I have to get you some culture.
Me: Did you just refer to Jason Momoa as “the guy from the MINECRAFT movie??”
12yo: Yes?
Me: I have to get you some culture.
November 28, 2024 at 2:15 PM
12yo: That’s the guy from the Minecraft movie trailer.
Me: Did you just refer to Jason Momoa as “the guy from the MINECRAFT movie??”
12yo: Yes?
Me: I have to get you some culture.
Me: Did you just refer to Jason Momoa as “the guy from the MINECRAFT movie??”
12yo: Yes?
Me: I have to get you some culture.
12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 4:43 PM
12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”
12yo: Radiohead is a better band than Pink Floyd
me: do you even know five Pink Floyd songs?
12yo: no, but i know their lore
me: do you even know five Pink Floyd songs?
12yo: no, but i know their lore
December 17, 2024 at 11:28 PM
12yo: Radiohead is a better band than Pink Floyd
me: do you even know five Pink Floyd songs?
12yo: no, but i know their lore
me: do you even know five Pink Floyd songs?
12yo: no, but i know their lore
Back from Audible studios in Newark, and my kid informs me that he’s expected to be in a suit for his band recital tomorrow.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me?
12yo: I already have a suit.
Me: From where you were 10?
12yo: yeah.
Me: DUDE, you’re like TWICE THE SIZE NOW.
12yo: oh.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me?
12yo: I already have a suit.
Me: From where you were 10?
12yo: yeah.
Me: DUDE, you’re like TWICE THE SIZE NOW.
12yo: oh.
January 14, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Back from Audible studios in Newark, and my kid informs me that he’s expected to be in a suit for his band recital tomorrow.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me?
12yo: I already have a suit.
Me: From where you were 10?
12yo: yeah.
Me: DUDE, you’re like TWICE THE SIZE NOW.
12yo: oh.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me?
12yo: I already have a suit.
Me: From where you were 10?
12yo: yeah.
Me: DUDE, you’re like TWICE THE SIZE NOW.
12yo: oh.
12yo: So we just got to chapter 3 in Animal Farm
Me: Yes.
12yo: And, I don't know, I'm starting to really get annoyed with the pigs.
Me: Go on.
12yo: I mean. They say that want every animal to be equal, but this doesn't sound equal to me.
Me: Keep reading. No notes from me. :)
Me: Yes.
12yo: And, I don't know, I'm starting to really get annoyed with the pigs.
Me: Go on.
12yo: I mean. They say that want every animal to be equal, but this doesn't sound equal to me.
Me: Keep reading. No notes from me. :)
May 19, 2025 at 8:30 PM
12yo: So we just got to chapter 3 in Animal Farm
Me: Yes.
12yo: And, I don't know, I'm starting to really get annoyed with the pigs.
Me: Go on.
12yo: I mean. They say that want every animal to be equal, but this doesn't sound equal to me.
Me: Keep reading. No notes from me. :)
Me: Yes.
12yo: And, I don't know, I'm starting to really get annoyed with the pigs.
Me: Go on.
12yo: I mean. They say that want every animal to be equal, but this doesn't sound equal to me.
Me: Keep reading. No notes from me. :)
[Kid getting extender in his mouth]
Orthodontist: Singing will actually help you get used to it.
12yo: What about rapping?
Ortho: uhh, yeah. Sure.
12yo: Fantastic!
:)
Orthodontist: Singing will actually help you get used to it.
12yo: What about rapping?
Ortho: uhh, yeah. Sure.
12yo: Fantastic!
:)
September 11, 2025 at 4:24 PM
[Kid getting extender in his mouth]
Orthodontist: Singing will actually help you get used to it.
12yo: What about rapping?
Ortho: uhh, yeah. Sure.
12yo: Fantastic!
:)
Orthodontist: Singing will actually help you get used to it.
12yo: What about rapping?
Ortho: uhh, yeah. Sure.
12yo: Fantastic!
:)
12YO: *on the computer*
My wife: Why are you looking up pictures of Steve Urkel???
12YO: I’m not, I’m looking up pictures of Stefan Urquelle.
My wife: Why are you looking up pictures of Steve Urkel???
12YO: I’m not, I’m looking up pictures of Stefan Urquelle.
September 30, 2026 at 1:31 AM
12YO: *on the computer*
My wife: Why are you looking up pictures of Steve Urkel???
12YO: I’m not, I’m looking up pictures of Stefan Urquelle.
My wife: Why are you looking up pictures of Steve Urkel???
12YO: I’m not, I’m looking up pictures of Stefan Urquelle.
me: what did you have for breakfast?
12yo: shreddies
me: oh, i didn’t know we had-
12yo: SHRED DEEZ NUTS
12yo: shreddies
me: oh, i didn’t know we had-
12yo: SHRED DEEZ NUTS
February 1, 2025 at 11:35 AM
me: what did you have for breakfast?
12yo: shreddies
me: oh, i didn’t know we had-
12yo: SHRED DEEZ NUTS
12yo: shreddies
me: oh, i didn’t know we had-
12yo: SHRED DEEZ NUTS
12yo nephew made us ninjabread men
December 25, 2024 at 1:33 AM
12yo nephew made us ninjabread men
My 12yo just called me her "spawn point".
May 27, 2024 at 12:56 AM
My 12yo just called me her "spawn point".
12yo boy theory racks up yet another W.
March 24, 2026 at 7:29 PM
12yo boy theory racks up yet another W.
May 25, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Or a 12yo anime girl they lust after
September 1, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Or a 12yo anime girl they lust after
I just introduced my 12yo to Weird Al, playing some original videos and then his takes. 12yo was LOSING IT. Top 5 parenting moment. Thank you @alyankovic.bsky.social
May 31, 2025 at 12:54 AM
I just introduced my 12yo to Weird Al, playing some original videos and then his takes. 12yo was LOSING IT. Top 5 parenting moment. Thank you @alyankovic.bsky.social
12yo: “Why doesn’t Jesus just do his magic to shut Herod up?”
Me: “Jesus likes drama.”
:)
Me: “Jesus likes drama.”
:)
April 20, 2025 at 1:30 AM
12yo: “Why doesn’t Jesus just do his magic to shut Herod up?”
Me: “Jesus likes drama.”
:)
Me: “Jesus likes drama.”
:)
Note that his fake badge number is 69420, like some 12yo edgelord in middle school.
What a cretin.
What a cretin.
This guy is 53 years old, the richest man in the world, and a senior government official at the White House
April 29, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Note that his fake badge number is 69420, like some 12yo edgelord in middle school.
What a cretin.
What a cretin.
Rescued this 12yo lady today. Ain't she gorgeous?
February 12, 2025 at 3:47 AM
Rescued this 12yo lady today. Ain't she gorgeous?
It might seem like a small thing, but 12yo ASD son can now tie his own shoes! 🤩
July 28, 2025 at 10:36 PM
It might seem like a small thing, but 12yo ASD son can now tie his own shoes! 🤩
Me: The electrician is coming tomorrow.
12yo: Oh that’s great. Tell them: “we would pay ANY PRICE for this service.”
Me: No. Nooo. We will NOT tell him or her that.
12yo: I have money from my allowance.
Me: Thanks. But you’re not getting it. You know what, just stay in your room when they come.
12yo: Oh that’s great. Tell them: “we would pay ANY PRICE for this service.”
Me: No. Nooo. We will NOT tell him or her that.
12yo: I have money from my allowance.
Me: Thanks. But you’re not getting it. You know what, just stay in your room when they come.
July 7, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Me: The electrician is coming tomorrow.
12yo: Oh that’s great. Tell them: “we would pay ANY PRICE for this service.”
Me: No. Nooo. We will NOT tell him or her that.
12yo: I have money from my allowance.
Me: Thanks. But you’re not getting it. You know what, just stay in your room when they come.
12yo: Oh that’s great. Tell them: “we would pay ANY PRICE for this service.”
Me: No. Nooo. We will NOT tell him or her that.
12yo: I have money from my allowance.
Me: Thanks. But you’re not getting it. You know what, just stay in your room when they come.
12yo said I sound “tired, but also very angry” this week.
Don’t really know how to tell him this is my reality for the next four years, at least.
Don’t really know how to tell him this is my reality for the next four years, at least.
January 23, 2025 at 9:58 PM
12yo said I sound “tired, but also very angry” this week.
Don’t really know how to tell him this is my reality for the next four years, at least.
Don’t really know how to tell him this is my reality for the next four years, at least.
12yo boys have a more sophisticated sense of humor than this stunted middle-aged puddle of goo
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 8:30 PM
12yo boys have a more sophisticated sense of humor than this stunted middle-aged puddle of goo
12yo: "Mom? Why is it called 'bacon,' and 'cookies,' when you bake cookies and cook bacon?"
July 28, 2024 at 4:32 PM
12yo: "Mom? Why is it called 'bacon,' and 'cookies,' when you bake cookies and cook bacon?"
I used this when I was 12yo. A liiitle tight right now lol 😝
August 30, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I used this when I was 12yo. A liiitle tight right now lol 😝