F1 Blog: Home of the Funniest Tweet Awards & Ask Carla THE F1 Agony Aunt

#AskCarla the #F1AgonyAunt is back, in song form, following the #F1 #LasVegasGP and Race Control's inability to hit the VSC button on time ...

Another week, another edict from the FIA, and this time swearing has reared its head again, in the form of punishments to be meted out to drivers who swear, protest (about anything), or portray the…

Dear Aunty Carla Someone lost a wingOn the way to the Melbourne gridAnd in China said: "What no power? Boo!"Tyres are spinning, sensors sensingClench my fists like What the hell just happened?What the hell just happened?No clue, and I hate it** I’m writing to you from the back of the McLaren garage in Shanghai, where I’ve got to watch my second Grand Prix in a row.

This week, F1’s only Agony Aunt is in song form ... again!. As fans fear "super-clipping" and twitchy active aero, she's telling the FIA what she really, really wants. From battery drain to V10 nostalgia, it’s time to sort the juice before the finish line. Spice up your life!

Dear Aunty Carla Oh boy! I have no idea what went wrong last weekend in Japan. There are absolutely no excuses for my, quite frankly, terrible driving, which was not even up to Formula 4 standard. …

Dear Aunty Carla I’m currently sitting at the back of the Mercedes hospitality unit, staring blankly at a lukewarm cup of Earl Grey. What on earth happened? Why did it have to be me? I am completely, utterly gutted. You saw what happened on Saturday. I drove my not-so-little socks off in the Sprint, and converted my pole into a win.

Dear Aunty Carla, For the first time in my twenty-five years racing, I am genuinely at a loss. This weekend in Barcelona was an unmitigated disaster. For the first time in 42 races, I was out-qualified by Lance, then my engine died during the race bringing out the virtual safety car, then I had to stand there in front of my home crowd and watch the podium from the garage.

ALT: Home Alone Catherine O Hara GIF

Dear Aunty Carla I know, I only wrote a few races back, but, quite frankly I’m desperate and don’t know what to do. Why can’t I ever seem to keep the lead during lap 1? I’ve tried everything, but ever...

Nico Hulkenberg FINALLY got his maiden podium after so many years and races, this is what he sang at the ‘after-Silverstone’ karaoke session … with apologies to Ce-Ce Peniston 😉 Finally, finally, yeah yeah, ow Finally it has happened to me, right in front of my faceAnd I just cannot hide it Racing all my life, no trophy in sight…

Dear Aunty Carla I hope this letter finds you well, though I suspect after reading my tale of woe, you'll need a stiff drink and possibly therapy. Let me set the scene: Abu Dhabi, final race, and there I was minding my own business when Lando "Title Contender" Norris appears in my mirrors like an unwanted party guest who's discovered you have premium cheese.

After Cadillac’s double DNF at the Austrian Grand Prix, we found Valtteri sitting in his ice bath … singing show tunes (obvs) … more specifically On My Own from Les Mis: On my own Pretending pace is with me All alone I coast until the morning Without grip I feel the lock-up find me And when I lose my line, I close my eyes…

Dear Aunty Carla Red Bull … dropped me. Just like that, after two races. TWO! That’s it. I hardly had any time to even meet all the guys in my garage, let alone get to know them on first name terms. I mean, I know my first two races didn’t go that well. But two races? Jeez!! If I’m being honest with myself, I was terrible, I just couldn’t get my groove on.

Dear Aunty Carla, For the first time in my twenty-five years racing, I am genuinely at a loss. This weekend in Barcelona was an unmitigated disaster. For the first time in 42 races, I was out-quali…

A Shakespearean tragedy on four wheels: F1’s ONLY Agony Aunt dissects the underwhelming Madring Grand Prix with a Julius Caesar parody targeting street circuit layouts and dirty air.

Trigger Warning: Max fans, probably a good idea if you don’t read this as it contains references to last week’s penalty Oh Max, Max, Max You bounced back from a disappointing Bahrain like the lion you are, nabbing pole in Jeddah. Yay! But then … … at the first corner on the first lap of the race, ‘Divebomber’ Max, king of the late brakers made a reappearance … scratch that, it’s more a don’t bother to brake at all until absolutely necessary to force the opponent to yield …

The Monaco Grand Prix was one to forget for the hometown boy. Here he turns to Shakespeare's Richard II, to express his feelings: No matter where. Of telemetry no man speak. Let’s talk of gravel, barriers, and DNFs, Make carbon dust our paper, and with red-rimmed eyes Write sorrow on the tarmac of the principality. Let’s choose investigators and talk of brake wear.