#AutisticInPsychotherapy
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kosjenka.bsky.social
#AutisticInPsychotherapy
is learning about

the power of dialectics
Text graphic on an off-white background. Large black serif lettering reads: “I just got my heart broken, and I look fuckin’ fabulous.” The word “and” is in crimson red, and “fuckin’ fabulous” is set much larger than the rest, filling the bottom line. In the lower right corner are three colour swatches labelled with their hex codes: off-white #F0EEE9, crimson red #BF1932, and black #000000.
October 29, 2026 at 11:34 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
In Gestalt therapy, replacing "but" with "and" is a powerful linguistic experiment used to expand awareness, promote self-acceptance, and resolve internal conflict.

We used MEEK's song "Fabulous" 🖤 to help me make sense of my recent feelings, moods, and experiences.

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
Text graphic on a muted taupe-brown background. Large off-white serif lettering reads: “I’m back in therapy and I look fuckin’ fabulous.” The word “and” is in dark burgundy, and “fuckin’ fabulous” is set much larger than the rest, filling the bottom line. In the lower right corner are three colour swatches labelled with their hex codes: taupe brown #9E7A68, dark burgundy #64242E, and off-white #F4F5F0.
October 30, 2026 at 8:55 AM
kosjenka.bsky.social
My first thought was to send this to Lea.
But she is dead, so I can’t.
We would have spent at least half a session taking the vid and the lyrics apart.

It gives strong #DyingForSex vibes.

#AutisticInPsychotherapy

youtu.be/x-FLnQrUGTc?...
MEEK - Fabulous (Official Video)
YouTube video by MEEK
youtu.be
October 26, 2026 at 10:55 AM
kosjenka.bsky.social
‘Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven's claws.’

The symbols are mine,
their meaning lives in loving,
continuing bonds.

For Lea 🖤💫 I miss you. I love you.

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
A close-up of a person in a black ribbed knit top with a V-neck, wearing two gold necklaces. The upper one is a figaro chain with a curved gold nameplate engraved "Kosjenka" in cursive script. The lower, longer box chain holds a small eight-pointed Northern Star. In the foreground, on a forearm resting across the body, is an Alexander McQueen bracelet of polished gold skull beads alternating with small pale pink beads.
October 10, 2026 at 1:52 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
One of the most empowering lessons I took from my therapist's cancer diagnosis and her death was to live intentionally every single day; to refuse to be boxed in by society's norms, or, even more important for me, by those of other autistic people.

It set me free.

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
September 27, 2026 at 12:39 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
This #AutisticInPsychotherapy is in therapy again.

It felt like a perfect first date.
Overjoyed 💫
A light beige upholstered armchair with dark wooden armrests sits in a cozy corner beside a window. Sunlight streams in onto a marble windowsill holding potted snake plants in white pots, a small succulent, an empty glass on a cork coaster and a peach-coloured vase. A white radiator runs beneath the sill, and a sheer cream curtain hangs beside the window. In the blurred background, dark shelves hold books and small objects.
September 25, 2026 at 3:05 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
Times are hard for dreamers!

A song describing my Gestalt therapeutic process.

My therapist died 4 months ago. She was 38. I miss her terribly.

#AutisticInPsychotherapy

open.spotify.com/track/4SKvKJ...
Sidelines
Phoebe Bridgers · Sidelines · Song · 2022
open.spotify.com
September 21, 2026 at 5:34 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
I miss her so, so, so much 🖤

My therapist died four months ago and I am grieving her, and all the love I can no longer share w/her.

So much love…

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
kosjenka.bsky.social Kosjenka @kosjenka.bsky.social · May 16
"Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones."

For Lea 🌻
forever loved and remembered
A warmly lit memorial display on a windowsill featuring a framed photo of a smiling woman wearing glasses and a colorful headscarf while holding a small brown dog. A lit candle sits in front of the frame beside a small amber glass jar candle, with a modern table lamp glowing on the left and a potted succulent on the right.
September 19, 2026 at 12:06 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
My therapist died three months ago today.

My last About Today journaling entry is from that day.
Today, I started writing again.

My grief is as vast as an ocean.
My ink is Blau-Schwartz.

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
A close-up of a bottle of Pelikan 4001 blue-black fountain pen ink standing on an open notebook with blank cream pages. A green and black fountain pen with gold trim lies capped in front of the bottle. Two more ink bottles are blurred in the background, along with a bright pink wall and soft daylight. The ink bottle’s label shows a swirl of blue ink visible through the glass.
August 15, 2026 at 8:56 AM
kosjenka.bsky.social
My mind is my jukebox

Nije važno odakle sam sve dok znaš kuda putujem
deralo me sedam mora
gorka kora ljute nevolje
to što brodi ne mogu da prevale
čovjek umije

#AutisticInPsychotherapy

open.spotify.com/track/1dmEce...
Meni Se Dušo Od Tebe Ne Rastaje
open.spotify.com
July 21, 2026 at 2:01 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
Today in #AutisticInPsychotherapy (is grieving):

I found out a person dedicated their latest book to our late psychotherapist and me, and I cried my soul out again.

I wish we had more time... 🌻
July 8, 2026 at 8:01 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
I always thought I'd be the one to end my therapy. Eventually, of course, after months of being well, and learning to manage myself and the world.

We were getting there and it felt bloody empowering and beautiful; seeing myself through her eyes.

I was so proud of US. 1/

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
A bright, minimalist living room with a black leather armchair adorned with a patterned cream and navy cushion. A dark blue geometric rug anchors the space, with a glass coffee table displaying "The Sun and Her Flowers" by Rupi Kaur. Built-in shelving lines the walls filled with books and decorative objects. Natural light streams through large windows above, illuminating the serene space with warm wood tones and modern furnishings. Portrait of a young woman wearing black cat-eye glasses with decorative details, smiling at the camera. She is wearing a bright orange puff-sleeved shirt layered under an olive-green vest, accessorized with a delicate pendant necklace and a bracelet. Framed botanical artwork is visible on the white wall behind them.
July 6, 2026 at 4:39 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
Anti-depressants + psychotherapy worked

Along side:
sleep prioritisation
physical activity
spending time w/ a friends/friends

It was intentional and bloody hard work on my part; the meds gave me the energy to even begin.

In remission for 1+ y now. 💪🏼

#AutisticInPsychotherapy on depression
July 5, 2026 at 5:33 AM
kosjenka.bsky.social
A sorrowful morning.

After six days of festivals, music and sea with friends, grief washed over me like the waves over these rocks.

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
Rocky limestone shoreline with clear, shallow turquoise water washing over scattered rocks. The sea deepens to blue toward the horizon, where a yellow buoy and a distant red boat are visible.
June 28, 2026 at 7:43 AM
kosjenka.bsky.social
The Flaming Lips were everything I needed them to be to ❤️‍🔥🫦

I know Lea would love to hear about the show 💫

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
A concert at night with the crowd silhouetted in the foreground, many hands and phones raised. The stage glows pink and purple with bright overhead lights and confetti raining down throughout the venue. Above the stage, large balloon letters spell out “FUCK YEAH ZAGREB.”
June 23, 2026 at 8:42 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
Today in #AutisticInPsychotherapy I went to see my psychiatrist.

We both knew what today’s session would be about. Me acknowledging my therapist died, him supporting me in bringing this news into the open.
June 17, 2026 at 2:08 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
I have a hole in my heart…

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
A Goodread’s quote screenshot. The text reads: How can you be happy in this world? You have a hole in your heart. You have a gateway inside you to lands beyond the world you know. They will call you, as you grow. There can never be a time when you forget them, when you are not, in your heart, questing after something you cannot have, something you cannot even properly imagine, the lack of which will spoil your sleep and your day and your life, until you close your eyes for the final time, until your loved ones give you poison and sell you to anatomy, and even then you will die with a hole inside you, and you will wail and curse at a life ill-lived. Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane
June 14, 2026 at 12:44 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
This is a podcast w/my psychotherapist who died some weeks ago.

I miss her so, so much 💔

It brings me solace she knew I was skeeting about #AutisticInPsychotherapy, and I hope to keep writing insights from our journey.

youtu.be/AZLJUnuAsZM?...
Ep 60. Mame kod Lane: LEA CONJAR - Kad mama oboli od teške bolesti!
YouTube video by Mame kod Lane
youtu.be
June 10, 2026 at 10:18 AM
kosjenka.bsky.social
My Gestalt psychotherapist died two weeks ago, after some 8y of therapy, and two intense months of uncertainty, sorrow, and deep exchanges of love and gratitude.

Here are some of the things I realised we went through together esp in the weeks leading up to her death. 1/

#AutisticInPsychotherapy
May 29, 2026 at 12:00 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
I need to say this/write this "aloud":

Some years ago, on Twitter before moving onto here, I started #AutisticInPsychotherapy htag to share the benefits of my therapy journey/process at a time when many of us didn’t believe non-autistic psychotherapists could truly help us autistics. I didn't. 1/
May 21, 2026 at 9:58 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
This week in #AutisticInPsychotherapy we discussed long covid and balancing bodily limitations vs obligations.

It helps to have a therapist who has firsthand experience w/ prolonged illness.

Not because of the validation, but cause it creates an even playing field for growth.
November 6, 2025 at 10:51 PM
kosjenka.bsky.social
#AutisticInPsychotherapy

It’s been a while since I’ve written about being an autistic woman in psychotherapy.
But this week’s topic needs to be shared.

I’m an autistic woman who isn’t ashamed of her vulnerability.
I allow it to exist and I share it.

But I get hurt. By working w/ men.
A lot.
1/7
kosjenka.bsky.social Kosjenka @kosjenka.bsky.social · Oct 8
PSA:
Being vulnerable before men who don’t appreciate or do vulnerability renders one feeling like shite afterwards.
THE SCHOOL OF LIFE We are desperate to impress other people through our strengths and accomplishments - but thereby forget that what truly renders someone endearing to others is a quite different ingredient: vulnerability.
October 12, 2025 at 4:59 PM