Your Bretwalda has a slight cold.
January 20, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Your Bretwalda has a slight cold.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda advises against all but essential travel to Vinland as the Yingees have gone propper mental.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda advises against all but essential travel to Vinland as the Yingees have gone propper mental.
That is all.
March 29, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda advises against all but essential travel to Vinland as the Yingees have gone propper mental.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda advises against all but essential travel to Vinland as the Yingees have gone propper mental.
That is all.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Be advised.
My benevolence is not without end.
Be advised.
My benevolence is not without end.
September 30, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Be advised.
My benevolence is not without end.
Be advised.
My benevolence is not without end.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that The Attack Womble of Death is to receive the inaugural Wülferhampton Peace Prize.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that The Attack Womble of Death is to receive the inaugural Wülferhampton Peace Prize.
December 6, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that The Attack Womble of Death is to receive the inaugural Wülferhampton Peace Prize.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that The Attack Womble of Death is to receive the inaugural Wülferhampton Peace Prize.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is not now, nor has he ever been, the current Duke of York.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda is not now, nor has he ever been, the current Duke of York.
That is all.
December 14, 2024 at 7:49 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is not now, nor has he ever been, the current Duke of York.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda is not now, nor has he ever been, the current Duke of York.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda is surprised to learn that he has the power to pardon wrongdoers.
Your Bretwalda is currently working on the price list.
Your Bretwalda is currently working on the price list.
July 25, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Your Bretwalda is surprised to learn that he has the power to pardon wrongdoers.
Your Bretwalda is currently working on the price list.
Your Bretwalda is currently working on the price list.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Despite numerous requests, your beloved Bretwalda will NOT be standing in the upcoming Clacton by-election.
Over to you @countbinface.bsky.social
Despite numerous requests, your beloved Bretwalda will NOT be standing in the upcoming Clacton by-election.
Over to you @countbinface.bsky.social
July 7, 2026 at 9:13 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Despite numerous requests, your beloved Bretwalda will NOT be standing in the upcoming Clacton by-election.
Over to you @countbinface.bsky.social
Despite numerous requests, your beloved Bretwalda will NOT be standing in the upcoming Clacton by-election.
Over to you @countbinface.bsky.social
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
After due consideration, your Bretwalda has declined the position of Witch Finder General.
That is all.
After due consideration, your Bretwalda has declined the position of Witch Finder General.
That is all.
July 20, 2026 at 7:52 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
After due consideration, your Bretwalda has declined the position of Witch Finder General.
That is all.
After due consideration, your Bretwalda has declined the position of Witch Finder General.
That is all.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that young Serfs, Churls and other such ankle biters (being aged 16 and above) will be allowed to fully participate in the upcoming election of the Bretwalda on the same basis as their elders.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that young Serfs, Churls and other such ankle biters (being aged 16 and above) will be allowed to fully participate in the upcoming election of the Bretwalda on the same basis as their elders.
That is all.
July 17, 2025 at 9:45 AM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that young Serfs, Churls and other such ankle biters (being aged 16 and above) will be allowed to fully participate in the upcoming election of the Bretwalda on the same basis as their elders.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that young Serfs, Churls and other such ankle biters (being aged 16 and above) will be allowed to fully participate in the upcoming election of the Bretwalda on the same basis as their elders.
That is all.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda will be conducting a cabinet reshuffle in the near future.
Stay tuned for updates.
Your Bretwalda will be conducting a cabinet reshuffle in the near future.
Stay tuned for updates.
May 29, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda will be conducting a cabinet reshuffle in the near future.
Stay tuned for updates.
Your Bretwalda will be conducting a cabinet reshuffle in the near future.
Stay tuned for updates.
I, your Bretwalda, approve this message.
November 7, 2024 at 10:06 PM
I, your Bretwalda, approve this message.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
May 10, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda has chosen not to attend the inauguration of President Elect Donald J Trump on the grounds that he's a cunt.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda has chosen not to attend the inauguration of President Elect Donald J Trump on the grounds that he's a cunt.
That is all.
January 17, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda has chosen not to attend the inauguration of President Elect Donald J Trump on the grounds that he's a cunt.
That is all.
Your Bretwalda has chosen not to attend the inauguration of President Elect Donald J Trump on the grounds that he's a cunt.
That is all.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your ever munificent Bretwalda has many real, actual teeth.
They're in the skulls nailed to the Mead Hall wall.
Your ever munificent Bretwalda has many real, actual teeth.
They're in the skulls nailed to the Mead Hall wall.
Sounds like @wulfhelm.bsky.social without his false teefs in.
February 27, 2026 at 12:45 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your ever munificent Bretwalda has many real, actual teeth.
They're in the skulls nailed to the Mead Hall wall.
Your ever munificent Bretwalda has many real, actual teeth.
They're in the skulls nailed to the Mead Hall wall.
Your Bretwalda is currently giving consideration to the contents of the Mead Hall Yulemas menu.
Sprouts will feature heavily, your Bretwalda suspects.
Sprouts will feature heavily, your Bretwalda suspects.
November 12, 2024 at 6:26 PM
Your Bretwalda is currently giving consideration to the contents of the Mead Hall Yulemas menu.
Sprouts will feature heavily, your Bretwalda suspects.
Sprouts will feature heavily, your Bretwalda suspects.
Your Bretwalda has a slight cold.
The Mead Hall press office, that's you @themeadhallbard.bsky.social dipshit, will continuously circulate a picture of your Bretwalda staring reverently at an altar covered in offal whilst strenuously denying any suggestion that your Bretwalda is Penelope Kieth.
The Mead Hall press office, that's you @themeadhallbard.bsky.social dipshit, will continuously circulate a picture of your Bretwalda staring reverently at an altar covered in offal whilst strenuously denying any suggestion that your Bretwalda is Penelope Kieth.
March 22, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Your Bretwalda has a slight cold.
The Mead Hall press office, that's you @themeadhallbard.bsky.social dipshit, will continuously circulate a picture of your Bretwalda staring reverently at an altar covered in offal whilst strenuously denying any suggestion that your Bretwalda is Penelope Kieth.
The Mead Hall press office, that's you @themeadhallbard.bsky.social dipshit, will continuously circulate a picture of your Bretwalda staring reverently at an altar covered in offal whilst strenuously denying any suggestion that your Bretwalda is Penelope Kieth.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
As a famously late adopter, your Bretwalda has chosen, after much consideration, not to buy an air fryer.
That is all.
As a famously late adopter, your Bretwalda has chosen, after much consideration, not to buy an air fryer.
That is all.
July 26, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
As a famously late adopter, your Bretwalda has chosen, after much consideration, not to buy an air fryer.
That is all.
As a famously late adopter, your Bretwalda has chosen, after much consideration, not to buy an air fryer.
That is all.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Whilst your Bretwalda is honoured to have been nominated for an academy award (for the most gratuitous use of the word cunt in a forign language film) yet your Bretwalda will not be attending the ceremony as the Yingees have all gone propper mental.
Whilst your Bretwalda is honoured to have been nominated for an academy award (for the most gratuitous use of the word cunt in a forign language film) yet your Bretwalda will not be attending the ceremony as the Yingees have all gone propper mental.
January 24, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Whilst your Bretwalda is honoured to have been nominated for an academy award (for the most gratuitous use of the word cunt in a forign language film) yet your Bretwalda will not be attending the ceremony as the Yingees have all gone propper mental.
Whilst your Bretwalda is honoured to have been nominated for an academy award (for the most gratuitous use of the word cunt in a forign language film) yet your Bretwalda will not be attending the ceremony as the Yingees have all gone propper mental.
I, your beloved Bretwalda, endorse this message.
October 17, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I, your beloved Bretwalda, endorse this message.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that the annual testing of the Wülferhampton Air Defence Systems (WADS) has once again proved to be entirely successful.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that the annual testing of the Wülferhampton Air Defence Systems (WADS) has once again proved to be entirely successful.
November 15, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that the annual testing of the Wülferhampton Air Defence Systems (WADS) has once again proved to be entirely successful.
Your Bretwalda is pleased to announce that the annual testing of the Wülferhampton Air Defence Systems (WADS) has once again proved to be entirely successful.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda offers his congratulations to the new Arch Wizard of the Christianists.
Your Bretwalda offers his congratulations to the new Arch Wizard of the Christianists.
October 3, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda offers his congratulations to the new Arch Wizard of the Christianists.
Your Bretwalda offers his congratulations to the new Arch Wizard of the Christianists.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Immigration has been a net benefit to the United Kingdom.
It always was.
Immigration has been a net benefit to the United Kingdom.
It always was.
May 17, 2026 at 6:47 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Immigration has been a net benefit to the United Kingdom.
It always was.
Immigration has been a net benefit to the United Kingdom.
It always was.
Your Bretwalda wishes all his Yingees serfs a very happy Barack Obama appreciation day.
June 14, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Your Bretwalda wishes all his Yingees serfs a very happy Barack Obama appreciation day.
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is flattered to have been considered for the role of the next 007.
However, your Bretwalda has chosen to, respectively, decline as it would clash with his duties as pontiff.
Pax Vobiscum, n shit.
Your Bretwalda is flattered to have been considered for the role of the next 007.
However, your Bretwalda has chosen to, respectively, decline as it would clash with his duties as pontiff.
Pax Vobiscum, n shit.
May 22, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Statement from the Office of the Bretwalda.
Your Bretwalda is flattered to have been considered for the role of the next 007.
However, your Bretwalda has chosen to, respectively, decline as it would clash with his duties as pontiff.
Pax Vobiscum, n shit.
Your Bretwalda is flattered to have been considered for the role of the next 007.
However, your Bretwalda has chosen to, respectively, decline as it would clash with his duties as pontiff.
Pax Vobiscum, n shit.
Your Bretwalda has once again been called upon for diplomatic service in forin parts.
Your Bretwalda fully expects upon his return that the Mead Hall will be;
A: Still standing.
B: In the same century that your Bretwalda left it.
C: That the big red 'DO NOT PRESS' button remains unpressed.
Your Bretwalda fully expects upon his return that the Mead Hall will be;
A: Still standing.
B: In the same century that your Bretwalda left it.
C: That the big red 'DO NOT PRESS' button remains unpressed.
February 21, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Your Bretwalda has once again been called upon for diplomatic service in forin parts.
Your Bretwalda fully expects upon his return that the Mead Hall will be;
A: Still standing.
B: In the same century that your Bretwalda left it.
C: That the big red 'DO NOT PRESS' button remains unpressed.
Your Bretwalda fully expects upon his return that the Mead Hall will be;
A: Still standing.
B: In the same century that your Bretwalda left it.
C: That the big red 'DO NOT PRESS' button remains unpressed.